Reply to I thought men didn’t care how much women make..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I attended a HSYP college and have a professional degree from another top school, so I know lots of people who come from high income families and/or who became high income. My circles at this age (50s) are almost entirely people in the top 15% of income earners. I don't think that any of the men I know, even those younger and older than me, have been drawn to a woman because of her income. They were certainly drawn to women because of their "pedigree" and their access to/comfort with the lifestyle of upper-echelon people. It's always surprised me that they never award brownie points to women earning over $200K. They want women who are cultured, well-read, and who are at ease with powerful and wealthy people. If anything, they seem to be uncomfortable with Boss Babe women whose careers might legitimately be more impressive/well-compensated than their own. I think OP just stumbled upon two oddball men. [/quote]

Are you the same poster who always posts something like this. How “high value men” (gag) care about pedigree? [/quote]

I’m not that PP but - yes - they do care. “Associative mating” is a thing. People come from the same cities/suburbs, attend one of a few very $$$ private schools or boarding schools, attend the same colleges (their parents and grandparents went there as well!), the same grad schools in the same fields, and eventually marry someone in this exact same circle. The days of the rich big time law partner marrying a pretty but lower social class secretary or waitress are long gone. [/quote]

Associative mating is about intelligence.

I know so many ivy league women/women with lots of grad degrees who married ivy league men and now are stay at home moms with hobbies or very small businesses or PT jobs.

I'm in my 40s now but my husband absolutely did not care about my income. I worked before we had kids and now I do the kids stuff and work PT. He still doesn't care. Both 99th percentile people at students and[b] our intellectual connection is there[/b].

[/quote]

Interesting.  I have good friends who are SAHMs of the variety you describe (high achievers in school, grad degrees, ended up staying home in a comfortable UMC or UC lifestyle). The one thing they seem to have in common is that they feel like their intellectual connections with their husbands are gone. Maybe because their worlds have diverged so much.

I work and bring in about 40% of the HHI. I also feel that the intellectual connection with my husband is not as strong as it used to be. We don’t really talk about books or interesting paper or similar much anymore. The times it picks up is when he asks for my thoughts on my field of expertise and how he is thinking of deploying in his company (tech stuff). Then we can go for weeks deep diving on things and I feel like the conversations we had while dating. [/quote]

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