European families appear so perfect with such well-behaved children - how do they do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find European kids to mostly be delightful compared to average US kids. They are raised more traditionally. I have surrounded myself with families with more traditional values as well -- we don't think twice about correcting each others' children, etc. -- and think the rest of you have lost your minds.

I was very strict about bedtimes with my kids. They are teens now and tell me how they get the most sleep out of all the kids they know.

I do think kids having enough sleep makes for better behaved kids.

[Anonymous]

Go on a mass market med cruise or to one of those all inclusives in Portugal that cater to more middle class folks. You will see plenty of European kids running amok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go on a mass market med cruise or to one of those all inclusives in Portugal that cater to more middle class folks. You will see plenty of European kids running amok.

Amsterdam literally ran a campaign telling Brits to stay home because young British men in particular were causing so much havoc.

[Anonymous]

Appear - they are not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in Morocco on vacation with our tween kids, and are staying in nice (but not fancy) family-friendly riads and hotels. Essentially everyone else is European - mostly French, Spanish, and German, with occasional Belgians or Scandinavians (which I know because they exchange brief pleasantries with one another around the pool in excellent English).

They are all attractive (moms with 4 kids and older teens are wearing bikinis - and look great!), have between 2-4 extremely well-behaved children, and the kids are relatively quiet but smiling and happy. The kids entertain themselves (in the pool, reading, playing cards), don’t pester their parents (who are reading actual books, not playing with their phones), and there is little to no crying or whining, except some age-appropriate crying from a baby - who was immediately picked up lovingly and tended to by her teenaged sister. The kids eat dinner with excellent manners, clean their plate, and the whole family sits and talks animatedly for the ~1.5 hours it takes to be served dinner (which doesn’t start until 8 or 8:30 PM).

And then the perfect European families are all up bright and early looking fabulous (parents and kids), having just finished breakfast when we straggle in bleary eyed at 9 AM.

I am so fascinated and intimidated. Every single Euro-family appears so calm, happy, well-behaved, and well-mannered, and looks great, (without appearing to need sleep). No one ever seems frazzled or even appears to get annoyed. How is this possible?

American parents are essentially lazy and give in to their children's every whim. They believe in gentle parenting and never saying "no.". Disciplining children is hard and a parent has to have the desire to have well behaved children. American children for the most part are feral brats with American parents encouraging their deplorable behavior.

[Anonymous]

I spent a week at a high end hotel on Sardinia and omg the Italian parents were awful. They let the kids run around screaming and being obnoxious, never parented them, etc. So, for every great example, there's likely an alternative example.

[Anonymous]

I haven't found this to be true at all. Most kids are decently well behaved. We're at a playground in London right now and it's exactly like a playground in the US would be, a little loud and chaotic, but most kids are behaving fine. The times I see kids misbehaving are rare whether I'm in the US or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in Morocco on vacation with our tween kids, and are staying in nice (but not fancy) family-friendly riads and hotels. Essentially everyone else is European - mostly French, Spanish, and German, with occasional Belgians or Scandinavians (which I know because they exchange brief pleasantries with one another around the pool in excellent English).

They are all attractive (moms with 4 kids and older teens are wearing bikinis - and look great!), have between 2-4 extremely well-behaved children, and the kids are relatively quiet but smiling and happy. The kids entertain themselves (in the pool, reading, playing cards), don’t pester their parents (who are reading actual books, not playing with their phones), and there is little to no crying or whining, except some age-appropriate crying from a baby - who was immediately picked up lovingly and tended to by her teenaged sister. The kids eat dinner with excellent manners, clean their plate, and the whole family sits and talks animatedly for the ~1.5 hours it takes to be served dinner (which doesn’t start until 8 or 8:30 PM).

And then the perfect European families are all up bright and early looking fabulous (parents and kids), having just finished breakfast when we straggle in bleary eyed at 9 AM.

I am so fascinated and intimidated. Every single Euro-family appears so calm, happy, well-behaved, and well-mannered, and looks great, (without appearing to need sleep). No one ever seems frazzled or even appears to get annoyed. How is this possible?

American parents are essentially lazy and give in to their children's every whim. They believe in gentle parenting and never saying "no.". Disciplining children is hard and a parent has to have the desire to have well behaved children. American children for the most part are feral brats with American parents encouraging their deplorable behavior.

Exactly this! As an American mom with twin teen boys it was rough in the beginning (and I’m sure will be again at various stages) but has paid dividends not buying in to this lack of discipline or lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you visit a Restaurant in Italy every single kid from age 0 - 18 sits in front of a screen, if you're lucky, the child is wearing headphones but very often you have to listen to they idiotic game the child is playing.
Signed Eropean

No. Not the natives.

— living in Milan for school currently

Italian children are the most unpopular guests according to a survey of European hoteliers.
https://www.derstandard.at/story/1034831/bambini-schreckgespenst-der-hoteliers

+1 don’t pay attention to that American poster “living in Milan for school”

[Anonymous]

Black American family that vacationed in Seoul s.Korea and we saw plenty European families (particularly French) acting like pure fools. Children at the airport with their shoes off, in the lounge we watched a family let their daughter stick her finger in a salad. She was swatted at but I was done no less. Another vacation in Thailand - I witnessed some Russian children - maybe 9 or 10 misbehaving and acting out. Parents doing absolutely nothing.

So I’m not particularly impressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the food. European kids eat real meals made with real food, they don’t snack on crap all day long. A lot of the “food” we give our kids here is actually banned in most parts of Europe due to the unhealthy chemicals in it. Literally banned. Just think about that.

Chemicals which RFK, Jr. is rightly trying to bring to our attention.

[Anonymous]

Let’s see, they have universal healthcare, free education, care for their elderly, generous parental leave- yeah, I think it’s safe to say those things make a better family unit. Money well spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in Morocco on vacation with our tween kids, and are staying in nice (but not fancy) family-friendly riads and hotels. Essentially everyone else is European - mostly French, Spanish, and German, with occasional Belgians or Scandinavians (which I know because they exchange brief pleasantries with one another around the pool in excellent English).

They are all attractive (moms with 4 kids and older teens are wearing bikinis - and look great!), have between 2-4 extremely well-behaved children, and the kids are relatively quiet but smiling and happy. The kids entertain themselves (in the pool, reading, playing cards), don’t pester their parents (who are reading actual books, not playing with their phones), and there is little to no crying or whining, except some age-appropriate crying from a baby - who was immediately picked up lovingly and tended to by her teenaged sister. The kids eat dinner with excellent manners, clean their plate, and the whole family sits and talks animatedly for the ~1.5 hours it takes to be served dinner (which doesn’t start until 8 or 8:30 PM).

And then the perfect European families are all up bright and early looking fabulous (parents and kids), having just finished breakfast when we straggle in bleary eyed at 9 AM.

I am so fascinated and intimidated. Every single Euro-family appears so calm, happy, well-behaved, and well-mannered, and looks great, (without appearing to need sleep). No one ever seems frazzled or even appears to get annoyed. How is this possible?

American parents are essentially lazy and give in to their children's every whim. They believe in gentle parenting and never saying "no.". Disciplining children is hard and a parent has to have the desire to have well behaved children. American children for the most part are feral brats with American parents encouraging their deplorable behavior.

Exactly this! As an American mom with twin teen boys it was rough in the beginning (and I’m sure will be again at various stages) but has paid dividends not buying in to this lack of discipline or lazy parenting.

I actually love how your post perfectly exemplifies American Exceptionalism (although obviously on an individual basis for you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time + money + better schools.

Europeans generally have far more free time than Americans. They work fewer hours, August vacation month, paid maternal leave, siestas, there are landowners who haven't worked for generations, etc.

Europeans are not destroying their public education system with idiotic ideas such as abolishing gifted and talented programs, discouraging homework, or de-tracking.

American public education is in a death-race to the bottom. It is largely driven by DEI.

How is the education system in Mother Russia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an American who spends time in Stockholm and have observed this too, OP. I also notice a related phenomenon with family dogs when they are taken out in public. Swedish city-dwelling dogs have -excellent- manners and temperament compared to DC dogs — even the same breeds. It’s like they are all highly trained service dogs for the vision impaired. Calm and confident, never leash pulling or inappropriately interested in every stimulus.

With both kids and dogs, a large part of the presentation has to be expectations set at birth. But genetics must have something to do with it because you almost never see crying fussy babies in store or errands, which blows my mind. They’re all calm.

You’re either a liar or you spend your time there in bars and at corporate meetings.

The Swedes (even Stockholmers) are famous for allowing kids to act like kids in public and not batting an eye (either at their own or other peoples kids). That means you regularly see toddlers flinging themselves face down in the middle of public sidewalks or parks have full blown screaming temper tantrums while their parents patiently wait for them to stop. Most importantly, no one judges the parents or the kids because it’s natural.