Asian Parents Broke Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a thing young adults are all doing now - analyzing their childhoods with a focus on all the ways their parents were not perfect. They have no idea what it's like to try to raise children, and the choices we have to make. It's our job to make sure they have what they need to be successful, and there is no instruction manual to follow to make that happen. You did your best. You can certainly try to tweak your parenting to avoid putting so much pressure on the younger siblings, but you should not feel awful. Your kid went to an Ivy. Some of the rest of us are feeling awful because our kids can barely get into a state school.

Yes, parents want their kids to be successful, do well in school, good grades, college ect. And hopefully become successful adults, but you don't have to steal their childhoods for that.

Please provide a link to the instruction manual entitled "How to raise successful children without stealing their childhood," and also a link to the one that provides the precise criteria for "stealing their childhood" versus "parenting." I would like to see that data.

Your response (which you clearly think is clever) is actually a perfect example of the type of rigid personality that leads to stealing your kids’ childhoods.

That's because you didn't understand it. I was pointing out that "stealing childhood" is a very subjective idea. How is one supposed to know where that line is? There is NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL. Perhaps the problem is people like you, who think you know everything.

No, I understood you just fine. You have further proved my point with your “NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL” defense.

Wow! I would really, really hate to be your kid.

Really? Why?

Because you’re a monster

Am I? How do you mean?

NP here. I would say because you are inflexible, argumentative, close-minded, and have a superiority complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a thing young adults are all doing now - analyzing their childhoods with a focus on all the ways their parents were not perfect. They have no idea what it's like to try to raise children, and the choices we have to make. It's our job to make sure they have what they need to be successful, and there is no instruction manual to follow to make that happen. You did your best. You can certainly try to tweak your parenting to avoid putting so much pressure on the younger siblings, but you should not feel awful. Your kid went to an Ivy. Some of the rest of us are feeling awful because our kids can barely get into a state school.

Yes, parents want their kids to be successful, do well in school, good grades, college ect. And hopefully become successful adults, but you don't have to steal their childhoods for that.

Please provide a link to the instruction manual entitled "How to raise successful children without stealing their childhood," and also a link to the one that provides the precise criteria for "stealing their childhood" versus "parenting." I would like to see that data.

Your response (which you clearly think is clever) is actually a perfect example of the type of rigid personality that leads to stealing your kids’ childhoods.

That's because you didn't understand it. I was pointing out that "stealing childhood" is a very subjective idea. How is one supposed to know where that line is? There is NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL. Perhaps the problem is people like you, who think you know everything.

No, I understood you just fine. You have further proved my point with your “NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL” defense.

Wow! I would really, really hate to be your kid.

Really? Why?

Because you’re a monster

Am I? How do you mean?

NP here. I would say because you are inflexible, argumentative, close-minded, and have a superiority complex.

LOL . Says the person demanding instruction manuals and “precise criteria” in order to raise her kids without making them miserable…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to take that guy seriously. He's obviously proud to be a U of M alumni which he admits he would not be without his parents pushing him and footing the bill. His IG is all selfies. He sounds like the typical American kid. He's whiny, ungrateful and a disgrace with his videos. He wants to be a travel/lifestyle influencer and would rather live in the desert than work a 9-5. He's a loser.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to take that guy seriously. He's obviously proud to be a U of M alumni which he admits he would not be without his parents pushing him and footing the bill. His IG is all selfies. He sounds like the typical American kid. He's whiny, ungrateful and a disgrace with his videos. He wants to be a travel/lifestyle influencer and would rather live in the desert than work a 9-5. He's a loser.

He admitted that he's not that smart, and so he had to work a lot harder than those who are naturally smart. But, he still graduated from UM with a degree in physics. That's something.

Being an influencer isn't a lifetime job. At some point, these young people will get older, and they will need to get a real job. At which point, his UM background will help him. I don't think he realizes that.

[Anonymous]

I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

You’re a bum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

DP. Very true. The problem is not the art and piano, but that they were required of a kid who wasn't interested. This kid's attitude is very typical, and his parents' competitive attitude is fairly typical too. And it's not just an "Asian family phenomenon". It sounds like this kid actually is smart and capable, but not that motivated and his parents pushed him when he didn't want to be pushed. Replace "art classes" with lacrosse or soccer and his situation describes a lot of the Non-Asian competitive families in my area as well. The intense cases in my neighborhood have involved both caucasian families well as asian and non-asian immigrant families.

All of these skills (arts, sports, etc.) require hard work and the equivalent of learning scales, strokes, and practice. But competitive activities and academics should be left to the kids who WANT to do it. These are generally just a waste of the kids' time otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

I am not Asian. Is it really like this?

I haven't watched the whole video, but I did watch the part about art and piano. There is no way to learn to play piano without regular practice which needs to include some of the boring stuff (scales etc). Nothing is fun all the time.

You can learn to do anything “good enough” for it to be fun. You absolutely do not need to practice scales to learn to play piano “good enough” to just do it for the sheer pleasure of playing.

Would you make your son take lessons on how to throw a proper spiral just because he wants to toss the ole pigskin around with the other guys on Thanksgiving?

I guess I just never met that person - a person who plays piano for the pleasure of playing without actually learning how to play it. Guitar - maybe. Violin - absolutely no way.

You seriously can’t fathom learning to play some songs on literally any instrument without practicing scales?

You can’t imagine looking at sheet music and being able to assign those 7 whole notes to the white keys, and that the notes in the vertical middle of the bar are in the middle of the piano? Higher ones to the right, lower to the left? Half notes are the black keys? You could learn this in about half an hour.

DP who posted right above. I also cannot imagine anyone learning how to play an instrument in half and hour in a way such that they would want to listen to themselves play or subject others to their own playing. Even for an instrument as pleasant sounding as the piano. In half an hour, I can imagine someone learning to play chopsticks in an annoying way. I grew up in a family with perfect pitch and many of us played instruments for fun, non-competitively, but this still required some practice and dedication.

But does it require *practicing scales* which is what you originally said?

(Obviously it does not. Come on.)

I'm not the original PP you were talking to, btw. But yeah, in order to improvise and play in a "fun" group, I knew my scales pretty well. Even the people I know who are self taught but play well enough to impress and audience were actually disciplined about honing skills and practicing. If you just want to plunk notes without understanding much, I'm sure you could learn to play a lot of sheet music without knowing anything about scales. But even then, learning how to play in a way that doesn't torment the neighbors takes a bit of effort. My point was, and I think you agree, kids shouldn't be forced to continue when the interest isn't there. For most teens "interest" just means learning how to play a few favorite pop or classical tunes over and over again, and this is fine.

Yeah, I do agree with your last point. (So don’t force a kid to learn scales when they don’t want to learn scales just because you think that’s the *right* way to learn.)

(And unless you’re just a toddler mashing the keys, piano is not a “torment the neighbors” instrument.)

I’m sure you’re great at the piano, but one doesn’t need to be great, or even aspire to be great, to play the piano for fun. Which I think is basically the point of the guy’s video. Can’t I just learn to play Christmas music or show tunes without being pressured to improvise in a fun group? Who cares?!