Dealing with judgemental old women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an old lady (51) telling you to let your kid keep it as long as she wants. If you take it, she will just stick something worse in her mouth (fingers, Pennie’s, etc.). This was super rude of these ladies. I would say something like “please do not address my child directly.” And if I was really irritated “I hope you are proud that you have made a little child cry.” I would then probably buy my kid a candy bar because I felt bad for them.

Fellow old lady (56!) who feels the same way. You’re fine op, don’t let them get to you.

I remember being in Target with my toddler and someone attempting to helpfully point out that my kid was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet. Thing was my dad had died the day before and I was just getting some last minute things for our 6 hour drive to my childhood home for the funeral. I nearly broke down then and there. People who know nothing about a situation have no business sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

WTF? Your grief and the stranger’s comment have absolutely NO relation. I would bet anything a stranger said would make you nearly break down in that scenario. So logically, what you are actually advocating for is to never ever speak to a person you don’t know. We’re headed toward that society now and it’s a frigging nightmare, in case you haven’t looked up from your own navel in awhile.

NP. You need to learn the difference between “speaking to a person you don’t know” and “criticizing a person you don’t know.” Ruminate on the difference, because it’s a big one. Do you have the capacity for reflection?

“Helpfully pointing out” that a kid’s shoes are on the wrong feet IS NOT criticism. Should I not let you know the next time I see you walking out of the bathroom with your skirt tucked in your underwear? Or that piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe?

Maybe reflect on way you’re so absurdly over sensitive. Seriously. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an old lady (51) telling you to let your kid keep it as long as she wants. If you take it, she will just stick something worse in her mouth (fingers, Pennie’s, etc.). This was super rude of these ladies. I would say something like “please do not address my child directly.” And if I was really irritated “I hope you are proud that you have made a little child cry.” I would then probably buy my kid a candy bar because I felt bad for them.

Fellow old lady (56!) who feels the same way. You’re fine op, don’t let them get to you.

I remember being in Target with my toddler and someone attempting to helpfully point out that my kid was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet. Thing was my dad had died the day before and I was just getting some last minute things for our 6 hour drive to my childhood home for the funeral. I nearly broke down then and there. People who know nothing about a situation have no business sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

WTF? Your grief and the stranger’s comment have absolutely NO relation. I would bet anything a stranger said would make you nearly break down in that scenario. So logically, what you are actually advocating for is to never ever speak to a person you don’t know. We’re headed toward that society now and it’s a frigging nightmare, in case you haven’t looked up from your own navel in awhile.

NP. You need to learn the difference between “speaking to a person you don’t know” and “criticizing a person you don’t know.” Ruminate on the difference, because it’s a big one. Do you have the capacity for reflection?

“Helpfully pointing out” that a kid’s shoes are on the wrong feet IS NOT criticism. Should I not let you know the next time I see you walking out of the bathroom with your skirt tucked in your underwear? Or that piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe?

Maybe reflect on way you’re so absurdly over sensitive. Seriously. Grow up.

Lol but you still don't know what criticism is.

(Hint: I just criticized you)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those women would not have done it to a father.

They have praised him for “babysitting her”.

Look people of all ages can be jerks and arrogant about parenting (I am looking at you, younger brother who had some big ideas about all the things his kids would never do ….hahaha) but older people are typically the ones who go up to KIDS and say something upsetting. I am PP and also a special needs mom who understands my kid is not always meeting social expectations but it is not always in my power or my kids power to fix that in the moment. Yes we keep working, yes we know how we are failing but in that moment you are just kicking someone when they are down. And my kid was not diagnosed at 3. They were just a “really challenging/intense” toddler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to pull them aside and quietly whisper in their ears If you come within 3 feet of my child,I will throw your old, nasty , saggy bag of a body into that produce bin. So unless you want a banana up your old ass I suggest you step away. Now!

You wanna fight me Maddox

[Anonymous]

This is a small hill OP. Just ignore them. No idea if they were trying to help or just be condescending. Just go on with your life.

[Anonymous]

OP, what will you do if you ever have a real problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an old lady (51) telling you to let your kid keep it as long as she wants. If you take it, she will just stick something worse in her mouth (fingers, Pennie’s, etc.). This was super rude of these ladies. I would say something like “please do not address my child directly.” And if I was really irritated “I hope you are proud that you have made a little child cry.” I would then probably buy my kid a candy bar because I felt bad for them.

Fellow old lady (56!) who feels the same way. You’re fine op, don’t let them get to you.

I remember being in Target with my toddler and someone attempting to helpfully point out that my kid was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet. Thing was my dad had died the day before and I was just getting some last minute things for our 6 hour drive to my childhood home for the funeral. I nearly broke down then and there. People who know nothing about a situation have no business sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong.

WTF? Your grief and the stranger’s comment have absolutely NO relation. I would bet anything a stranger said would make you nearly break down in that scenario. So logically, what you are actually advocating for is to never ever speak to a person you don’t know. We’re headed toward that society now and it’s a frigging nightmare, in case you haven’t looked up from your own navel in awhile.

NP. You need to learn the difference between “speaking to a person you don’t know” and “criticizing a person you don’t know.” Ruminate on the difference, because it’s a big one. Do you have the capacity for reflection?

“Helpfully pointing out” that a kid’s shoes are on the wrong feet IS NOT criticism. Should I not let you know the next time I see you walking out of the bathroom with your skirt tucked in your underwear? Or that piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe?

Maybe reflect on way you’re so absurdly over sensitive. Seriously. Grow up.

If the kid’s shoes were actually bothering him, he would have spoken up. Find some other way to be relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 year old daughter didn't sleep well last night, we had to do a grocery trip, and to help her relax I'd allowed the pacifier out of the car while we were shopping. She has it for bed and certain times of the day, and whilst I know she's a little older it's a huge comfort and not a huge issue for me.

Two older women together came up and spoke directly to my daughter whilst in the store and told her (clearly in my earshot) that she shouldn't have that in her mouth, that it's for babies and mommy should put it in the bin. Immediately tears started flowing from the challenge. We moved away but I didn't know what to say to them or my daughter.

I feel like an awful mom. I know I will need to remove it soon but it's her comfort and there's a slightly chaotic home life at the moment with house moving.

Whilst I hope this doesn't happen again, what should I do in these situations? How would you deal with it or have dealt with it if this happened?

Just tell your daughter, within earshot of the nasty old ladies, that she should feel sorry for mean old ladies who can't mind their own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a big deal. Who cares what random people say to you in a store?

I would separate your projections on your child and how your child actually feels. People say judgmental things all the time and they aren’t always monsters and you aren’t always a victim. Sometimes they are well meaning and sometimes they have no filter. I have three children under six and my husband and I work full time with zero family help so I understand the paci thing but piece of advice - there is never a good time to take it away or potty train or do anything. Sometimes you just need to do it.

And if it makes you feel better, when my second child was 16 months (and sitting on my lap for a three hour flight) and my eldest was three I flew to FL at 28 weeks pregnant and on the plane the woman in the row behind me talked incessantly to her two adolescent children about how my 16 month old had a paci and how it was bad for her teeth. It was definitely a ‘WTF did I do to deserve this torture’ moment but you just have to tune these people out. They need to feel self-righteous or holier than thou and they will find a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all , I know she's too old, I'm struggling to find that time to get rid as she's being great with all the stress of a house move but we're hoping to be finally settled in the next couple of weeks. We'll focus on trying to limit it to bed and then full cold turkey shortly after

Why? Maybe she’ll keep it until she’s ready to give it up. None of that bull about a struggle. My daughter had her pacifier until the middle of kindergarten. Probably about 4 years old she only used it at night. People make comments, not just older women. Once she was about three years old in a pediatrician waiting room. A two year old pointed to her and said “baby”. His mother was embarrassed that he said that and my daughter just didn’t care. She’s in college now without a pacifier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“IT’S OK, LARLA, THIS LADY IS CONFUSED. WE HOPE HER HANDLER FINDS HER SOON AND TAKES HER BACK WHERE SHE BELONGS. SHE THINKS SHE’S YOUR MAMA OR GRANDMA AND SHE’S NOT. HOPEFULLY SHE GETS THE HELP SHE NEEDS.”

Who are these posters always talking about people getting help, needing help? It’s an ongoing theme here.

[Anonymous]

Mostly I just smiled, nodded, and ignored. Once in awhile I would smile extra brightly and say in a cheery voice, “Thank you so much, but we’re just raising him for the meat.” Slack jawed silence every time. My youngest is now in upper elementary so I can’t do it anymore, but it was very satisfying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mostly I just smiled, nodded, and ignored. Once in awhile I would smile extra brightly and say in a cheery voice, “Thank you so much, but we’re just raising him for the meat.” Slack jawed silence every time. My youngest is now in upper elementary so I can’t do it anymore, but it was very satisfying.

NP here. I LIKE THIS My kids are past toddler age now but if I have grandkids, I'll mention this to their parents to use!

Yeah, I don't want anybody telling MY child what I should be doing. If 'I' am ok with a 3yo having a pacifier, that means it's ok for my 3yo to have it. If my toddler insists on wearing their shoes on the wrong feet, and I let them, that's my business too. I'm not asking the busybody to care for or pay for my kids, so it's none of their business.

[Anonymous]

I'm older and I don't give a flying flip if your kid is sucking a pacifier is they're 10 years old
I do care if your sunflower is running wild or having a screaming fit. I will, and have, asked one woman to keep her three horrible brats from running wild through aisles and running into carts. She didn't have an opportunity to be snarky as the store manager asked to leave the store because her wild hyenas knocked down a floor display.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mostly I just smiled, nodded, and ignored. Once in awhile I would smile extra brightly and say in a cheery voice, “Thank you so much, but we’re just raising him for the meat.” Slack jawed silence every time. My youngest is now in upper elementary so I can’t do it anymore, but it was very satisfying.

NP here. I LIKE THIS My kids are past toddler age now but if I have grandkids, I'll mention this to their parents to use!

Yeah, I don't want anybody telling MY child what I should be doing. If 'I' am ok with a 3yo having a pacifier, that means it's ok for my 3yo to have it. If my toddler insists on wearing their shoes on the wrong feet, and I let them, that's my business too. I'm not asking the busybody to care for or pay for my kids, so it's none of their business.

From my dark little heart with blessings lol. Someone will probably tell us that we are over/under heating our grandchildren someday, so we might get a chance to use it ourselves too.


These remarks are so pointless too, because we all love unasked for advice.