Dealing with judgemental old women

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old daughter didn't sleep well last night, we had to do a grocery trip, and to help her relax I'd allowed the pacifier out of the car while we were shopping. She has it for bed and certain times of the day, and whilst I know she's a little older it's a huge comfort and not a huge issue for me.

Two older women together came up and spoke directly to my daughter whilst in the store and told her (clearly in my earshot) that she shouldn't have that in her mouth, that it's for babies and mommy should put it in the bin. Immediately tears started flowing from the challenge. We moved away but I didn't know what to say to them or my daughter.

I feel like an awful mom. I know I will need to remove it soon but it's her comfort and there's a slightly chaotic home life at the moment with house moving.

Whilst I hope this doesn't happen again, what should I do in these situations? How would you deal with it or have dealt with it if this happened?

[Anonymous]

"Really? You just made a 3 year old cry over something that has no impact on you". And then I would have told my kid that she was mean.

Although it's probably better to just roll your eyes and walk away.

[Anonymous]

This is not a big deal. Who cares what random people say to you in a store?

[Anonymous]

Bah. Its sucks and i would tell them to mind their business. My kid sucked her thumb until 5 and that was harder to take away.

[Anonymous]

You really need to pull them aside and quietly whisper in their ears If you come within 3 feet of my child,I will throw your old, nasty , saggy bag of a body into that produce bin. So unless you want a banana up your old ass I suggest you step away. Now!

[Anonymous]

I would say “What the F is wrong with you?” to those crazy ladies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a big deal. Who cares what random people say to you in a store?

Apparently the three year old because she was crying!

[Anonymous]

I would just ignore them, OP. You'll have to grow a thicker skin to continue on your parent journey. Mothers, more than fathers, are continually judged and sometimes no matter what you do, you feel like you can't win! So talk yourself into believing you're a GREAT MOTHER. Because there will be times when the entire world, including your child, thinks you're not. Believe me, I'm the parent of teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to pull them aside and quietly whisper in their ears If you come within 3 feet of my child,I will throw your old, nasty , saggy bag of a body into that produce bin. So unless you want a banana up your old ass I suggest you step away. Now!

I need to have you on call if this happens again . Thanks for the replies, it's a relief to know I was right to be bothered by it.

I definitely want to be better at these situations to show how my daughter can respectfully stand up for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would just ignore them, OP. You'll have to grow a thicker skin to continue on your parent journey. Mothers, more than fathers, are continually judged and sometimes no matter what you do, you feel like you can't win! So talk yourself into believing you're a GREAT MOTHER. Because there will be times when the entire world, including your child, thinks you're not. Believe me, I'm the parent of teens

I'm terrified of the teenage years! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would just ignore them, OP. You'll have to grow a thicker skin to continue on your parent journey. Mothers, more than fathers, are continually judged and sometimes no matter what you do, you feel like you can't win! So talk yourself into believing you're a GREAT MOTHER. Because there will be times when the entire world, including your child, thinks you're not. Believe me, I'm the parent of teens

I would not care a hoot about what two old bats think. They are invisible to the world and meaningless. I would care if they made my three year old cry. They would never do that again if it were me.

[Anonymous]

FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

[Anonymous]

Lots of good advice in here. Nosy old ladies do this and it's annoying AF and I give anyone carte blanche to tell them to mind their own business.

Once when my kid was 3 or so she threw a total fit while we were out and was screaming and crying when I put her in the stroller but also refused to walk. This happened on a street corner at a super busy intersection near tons of traffic and I just wanted to get her away from all the cars before I properly dealt with the tantrum. So I picked her up (since that was the one thing that would for sure calm her down) and then kind of awkwardly steered the stroller with my elbow to get us onto the nearby residential block. And as I'm holding this weeping 3 year old with one arm and steering a stroller with the other arm this old lady walks by and straight up sneers at me "they are supposed to go IN the stroller dear." I spun around and said "No one asked you!" and marched off because good lord no parent needs a freaking peanut gallery while their kid is in the middle of a melt down and car are speeding by and honking horns.

Some people have no sense of solidarity.

[Anonymous]

My DD used her paci until she was five. I would have told those women that, as far as I was concerned, she could take it to college with her if it made her happy.

[Anonymous]

"I have no interest in parenting advice from a generation that drank when pregnant and beat their kids."