Dealing with judgemental old women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread demonstrates why our society is doomed. We really are a bunch of snowflakes.

Indeed you are a snowflake if you simply must impose on strangers and whine when people don’t agree that is an OK thing to do. Indeed you are precious if you can’t take one point of feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

NP. Here’s some advice for you: calm your tits before you have a heart attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

NP. Here’s some advice for you: calm your tits before you have a heart attack.

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

If you don't understand the difference between pointing out when someone has spinach in their teeth and criticizing the parenting of a stranger to their face you're either an idiot or pretending to be. Not sure which is worse!

“Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank.”

It’s still criticism! Unless you asked me if you have spinach in your teeth. Otherwise, I am *advising* you, UnSoLiCiTeD, that you have spinach in your teeth, which is obviously a criticism of your hygiene, or your diet, or your teeth. The poster said “Point blank.” There is no gray area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 3 year old daughter didn't sleep well last night, we had to do a grocery trip, and to help her relax I'd allowed the pacifier out of the car while we were shopping. She has it for bed and certain times of the day, and whilst I know she's a little older it's a huge comfort and not a huge issue for me.

Two older women together came up and spoke directly to my daughter whilst in the store and told her (clearly in my earshot) that she shouldn't have that in her mouth, that it's for babies and mommy should put it in the bin. Immediately tears started flowing from the challenge. We moved away but I didn't know what to say to them or my daughter.

I feel like an awful mom. I know I will need to remove it soon but it's her comfort and there's a slightly chaotic home life at the moment with house moving.

Whilst I hope this doesn't happen again, what should I do in these situations? How would you deal with it or have dealt with it if this happened?

Whilst? This person is a well known troll. She's been all over other "mom" sites. Who gets enjoyment out of doing this all day long?

I doff my hat to ye, m'lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

If you don't understand the difference between pointing out when someone has spinach in their teeth and criticizing the parenting of a stranger to their face you're either an idiot or pretending to be. Not sure which is worse!

100%

Daft AF.

Theres no judgement from having spinach in your teeth because its a fact. You arent telling them what to do with the spinach in their teeth are you? You are notifying them of it and then they can proceed as they want to with the information. The mom is aware the kid has a pacifier. If shes okay with it then you should MYOFB.

I would also assume in the case of kidney disease that you wouldnt know that unless you were close to the parent/kid in which case you should let them know you've been through and found some helpful pointers and would they be interested in them.

[Anonymous]

I'll be sure to walk up to each and every old lady I see and tell them that:
1) They smell funny (I'm just trying to help!)
2) They are dribbling a little food on their chin (I'm just trying to help!)
3) Their posture is drooping (I'm just trying to help!)
4) They are moving slowly and would benefit from more regular exercise (I'm just trying to help!)
5) Their clothes look out of date (I'm just trying to help!)

Then I can be in the village, too. I'm just trying to help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

If you don't understand the difference between pointing out when someone has spinach in their teeth and criticizing the parenting of a stranger to their face you're either an idiot or pretending to be. Not sure which is worse!

100%

Daft AF.

Theres no judgement from having spinach in your teeth because its a fact. You arent telling them what to do with the spinach in their teeth are you? You are notifying them of it and then they can proceed as they want to with the information. The mom is aware the kid has a pacifier. If shes okay with it then you should MYOFB.

I would also assume in the case of kidney disease that you wouldnt know that unless you were close to the parent/kid in which case you should let them know you've been through and found some helpful pointers and would they be interested in them.

You just don’t understand what “POINT BLANK” means in this context. It means there are NO EXCEPTIONS. Unsolicited advice is CRITICISM! The poster upthread declared it so!!!

Here’s some actual unsolicited advice for some of you: don’t throw out trite phrases you don’t understand in an attempt to shut down discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be sure to walk up to each and every old lady I see and tell them that:
1) They smell funny (I'm just trying to help!)
2) They are dribbling a little food on their chin (I'm just trying to help!)
3) Their posture is drooping (I'm just trying to help!)
4) They are moving slowly and would benefit from more regular exercise (I'm just trying to help!)
5) Their clothes look out of date (I'm just trying to help!)

Then I can be in the village, too. I'm just trying to help!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that so many of you think it's inappropriate for these ladies to speak to a child like this but it is apparently appropriate for mothers to insult and denigrate old ladies. Interesting lesson for a 3 year old.

And yes I am an older woman, one who has never corrected someone else's child in public or actually even in private.

It is inappropriate for 2 adults to gang up on a very young child they don't know.

And adult to adult situation is entirely different.

Does being old mess up your logic? I'm older too and I'd like to know what to expect.

Many have suggested the OP should have read these ladies the riot act, I'm just questioning the propriety of doing that in front of your 3 yr old and therefore teaching her a questionable lesson on how to treat others. No being old does not "mess up your logic" as if that makes any sense. It's always funny to insult others though isn't it?

The 3 year old isn’t going to remember the incident but the old bats might just get a clue.

Maybe not your 3 yr old but mine would definitely have remembered her mother having a conflict with old ladies at the grocery store. She would have told daddy and her teacher and her friend's mothers and the garbage man.

[Anonymous]

You all should parent your kids better and then you won’t be so defensive if someone tries to call you out in public. The only reason you care if a complete stranger tells you you’re doing it wrong is because you KNOW you’re doing it wrong. The truth hurts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all should parent your kids better and then you won’t be so defensive if someone tries to call you out in public. The only reason you care if a complete stranger tells you you’re doing it wrong is because you KNOW you’re doing it wrong. The truth hurts.

I am interpreting your post as permission to tell them to eff off without a care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

If you don't understand the difference between pointing out when someone has spinach in their teeth and criticizing the parenting of a stranger to their face you're either an idiot or pretending to be. Not sure which is worse!

100%

Daft AF.

Theres no judgement from having spinach in your teeth because its a fact. You arent telling them what to do with the spinach in their teeth are you? You are notifying them of it and then they can proceed as they want to with the information. The mom is aware the kid has a pacifier. If shes okay with it then you should MYOFB.

I would also assume in the case of kidney disease that you wouldnt know that unless you were close to the parent/kid in which case you should let them know you've been through and found some helpful pointers and would they be interested in them.

+1000

These posters are nuts! And they are posting without thinking, since it is common courtesy to let another woman or man know that they have tp on their shoe, or might want to check for ketchup on their chin. It's not an insult or criticism. It's friendly help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all should parent your kids better and then you won’t be so defensive if someone tries to call you out in public. The only reason you care if a complete stranger tells you you’re doing it wrong is because you KNOW you’re doing it wrong. The truth hurts.

Pluck your chin hairs more diligently is my unsolicited advice to you, Barb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that so many of you think it's inappropriate for these ladies to speak to a child like this but it is apparently appropriate for mothers to insult and denigrate old ladies. Interesting lesson for a 3 year old.

And yes I am an older woman, one who has never corrected someone else's child in public or actually even in private.

It is inappropriate for 2 adults to gang up on a very young child they don't know.

And adult to adult situation is entirely different.

Does being old mess up your logic? I'm older too and I'd like to know what to expect.

Many have suggested the OP should have read these ladies the riot act, I'm just questioning the propriety of doing that in front of your 3 yr old and therefore teaching her a questionable lesson on how to treat others. No being old does not "mess up your logic" as if that makes any sense. It's always funny to insult others though isn't it?

The 3 year old isn’t going to remember the incident but the old bats might just get a clue.

Maybe not your 3 yr old but mine would definitely have remembered her mother having a conflict with old ladies at the grocery store. She would have told daddy and her teacher and her friend's mothers and the garbage man.

And so what? Are you such a sheep that you’d rather appease strangers than defend your child?