Dealing with judgemental old women

[Anonymous]

OP, isn’t your thread title sorta judgy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, isn’t your thread title sorta judgy?

Yes, it is ageist, but OP apologized for it early in the thread.

But all the other ageist jerks continued to post, thinking they will never get older themselves, or that they will be a different kind of old person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all should parent your kids better and then you won’t be so defensive if someone tries to call you out in public. The only reason you care if a complete stranger tells you you’re doing it wrong is because you KNOW you’re doing it wrong. The truth hurts.

I am interpreting your post as permission to tell them to eff off without a care.

Absolutely! If you’re fine with whatever parenting decision they’re commenting on, tell them to eff off, or eat a d!ck, or politely (or passive aggressively) thank them for their advice - whatever floats your boat.

If you find yourself feeling defensive and angry over their criticism, you can still do the above, but (trigger warning: unsolicited advice incoming) you should also maybe reflect on what they’re saying and consider making some adjustments to that particular parenting choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

NP. Yeah, no. Spinach in the teeth is both never intended and quickly fixed, and you aren't saving anyone's kidneys by carping on about the pacifier.

I think you know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FYI, all of these responses, this why there is no village and why every woman is on her own.

OP, a paci at 3 for bed is really bad for the teeth and mouth. She needs to be weaned from it. Starting now.

OP is obviously already aware the pacifier isn't great or she wouldn't be reluctant to use it in public. She is not actually in need of advice on pacifier usage.

No one needs a "village" of judgmental advice-givers who want to weigh in on your every parenting move. You can get that for free from your own family. The village is supposed to be about help and support not unsolicited advice and scaring 3 yr olds in grocery stores.

The village is for both. But since women today will not accept the latter, they do not receive the former. And then they complain about it (on other threads).

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank. I have never been a village to a sick person and given them criticism about their life choices that made them sick nor criticized my friends/family when they had surgery or when their kid died in a motorcycle accident or from drug abuse.

So, no, a village for women raising children doesnt need that either.

The bolded. People need to internalize this idea. Telling someone what you think they are doing wrong without their invitation is not a "village." It's a freaking peanut gallery and it doesn't actually help anyone.

Got it. I’ll never, ever point out the spinach in your teeth again. I thought I was being helpful, but I honestly did not consider how fragile your ego is. And I definitely won’t offer up diet advice to help your kid with a rare kidney disorder (for example) just because I’ve been through it myself. God forbid you think I’m criticizing you by pointing out that certain things are particularly bad for him, which you may not have been aware of. Better to let the kid suffer the health consequences to spare the adult’s feelings, even though a sane and secure person wouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that she’s being criticized.

See someone about to do something dangerous that they most likely don’t realize is dangerous? DON’T WARN THEM you judgmental cows! People today would apparently rather be severely injured or die than be told that maybe they’re doing something stupid or wrong…

NP. Yeah, no. Spinach in the teeth is both never intended and quickly fixed, and you aren't saving anyone's kidneys by carping on about the pacifier.

I think you know this.

Unsolicited advice is criticism. Point blank.