What's the hardest part of marriage at midlife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men realizing and having to cope with wives who are neurotic and complain and stress way too much about inconsequential things or imaginary boogeymen that won’t come to pass. Maybe worrying there is some kidnapper in a van at the park and realize that, statistically, driving your fking sedan is much more likely to result in a dangerous situation. Men just get so tired of the constant anxiety. Chill out. No one cares. Nothing really matters that much.

Typical man. You don’t understand the dangers women are surrounded by. Or appreciate middle aged women’s health concerns and how hard peri/menopause can hit a lot of women.

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

I’m prioritizing empathy in my next husband. I’ll take a poor man who still has it over a rich low EQ man.

[Anonymous]

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

Your lack of empathetic awareness is breathtaking. You take the time to post about men making "jokes, mean comments, ridicule" without considering that women do this all the time about men.

Someone posted this up-post:

Pretending the nasty and frumpy man you married is nice and good looking.

Until now, no one posted a word.

On DCUM, women ridiculing middle-aged men is commonplace (e.g., they are bald, fat, have ED, etc.) and accepted by other women. However, women will complain when they believe they are being ridiculed instead of having the guts to say that mean comments are wrong, no matter who is being bullied.

Until you can look at both sides, STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

Your lack of empathetic awareness is breathtaking. You take the time to post about men making "jokes, mean comments, ridicule" without considering that women do this all the time about men.

Someone posted this up-post:

Pretending the nasty and frumpy man you married is nice and good looking.

Until now, no one posted a word.

On DCUM, women ridiculing middle-aged men is commonplace (e.g., they are bald, fat, have ED, etc.) and accepted by other women. However, women will complain when they believe they are being ridiculed instead of having the guts to say that mean comments are wrong, no matter who is being bullied.

Until you can look at both sides, STFU.

Making a general disparaging remark about men on an anonymous message board isn’t great, but it is different than regularly ridiculing your spouse to their face.
Women do the former. Women notoriously talk about people behind their backs. Men do the latter. Men notoriously get angry and “take it out on” their wives and children.

[Anonymous]

Making a general disparaging remark about men on an anonymous message board isn’t great, but it is different than regularly ridiculing your spouse to their face.
Women do the former. Women notoriously talk about people behind their backs. Men do the latter. Men notoriously get angry and “take it out on” their wives and children.

By "take it out," do you mean physical harm? Which is horrible and should be punished quickly and forcefully.

I know many, many women who ridicule their DH to their faces and behind their backs. Both are bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

Your lack of empathetic awareness is breathtaking. You take the time to post about men making "jokes, mean comments, ridicule" without considering that women do this all the time about men.

Someone posted this up-post:

Pretending the nasty and frumpy man you married is nice and good looking.

Until now, no one posted a word.

On DCUM, women ridiculing middle-aged men is commonplace (e.g., they are bald, fat, have ED, etc.) and accepted by other women. However, women will complain when they believe they are being ridiculed instead of having the guts to say that mean comments are wrong, no matter who is being bullied.

Until you can look at both sides, STFU.

You must be new here. So you STFU and spend some time here reading bc women are criticized and blamed for everything here. So you. A point that wagging finger at yourself.

[Anonymous]

You must be new here. So you STFU and spend some time here reading bc women are criticized and blamed for everything here. So you. A point that wagging finger at yourself.

You must be new to posting online, given your lack of ability to write a readable post.

For example, "So you. A point that wagging finger at yourself." I hope you do not write this poorly in other areas of your life.

I spend a lot of time on DCUM, and I can spot poor writers (you can see an example every time you look in the mirror) and people who do not know what they are talking about (go back to the mirror to see one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

Your lack of empathetic awareness is breathtaking. You take the time to post about men making "jokes, mean comments, ridicule" without considering that women do this all the time about men.

Someone posted this up-post:

Pretending the nasty and frumpy man you married is nice and good looking.

Until now, no one posted a word.

On DCUM, women ridiculing middle-aged men is commonplace (e.g., they are bald, fat, have ED, etc.) and accepted by other women. However, women will complain when they believe they are being ridiculed instead of having the guts to say that mean comments are wrong, no matter who is being bullied.

Until you can look at both sides, STFU.

You must be new here. So you STFU and spend some time here reading bc women are criticized and blamed for everything here. So you. A point that wagging finger at yourself.

I’m a woman and I don’t agree. As a general rule, posters (man or woman) are not very self reflective. They called out on that.

[Anonymous]

Both parties getting board of each other and taking each other for granted is big.

[Anonymous]

Aging is one thing. Losing the generation before us another thing.

[Anonymous]

I think DH and I are at a very good stage of life. Health is a big concern. I use hormonal vaginal cream and that has been really great.

[Anonymous]

For me it’s accepting reality. We chose to have two children. Our life is not our own. Our money goes to our house, savings and 529s. It is difficult to watch my spouse struggle because they can’t purchase jewelry, a sports car etc. I am struggling to pay for normal life, a nanny and mortgage and they are off in their own world complaining about not owning a ski condo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If they do understand how hard it is, they weaponize it against women. Jokes, mean comments, ridicule. Looking for empathy in an average man is pointless. There must be some great men too, I’ve heard about them, but don’t know any.

Your lack of empathetic awareness is breathtaking. You take the time to post about men making "jokes, mean comments, ridicule" without considering that women do this all the time about men.

Someone posted this up-post:

Pretending the nasty and frumpy man you married is nice and good looking.

Until now, no one posted a word.

On DCUM, women ridiculing middle-aged men is commonplace (e.g., they are bald, fat, have ED, etc.) and accepted by other women. However, women will complain when they believe they are being ridiculed instead of having the guts to say that mean comments are wrong, no matter who is being bullied.

Until you can look at both sides, STFU.

You must be new here. So you STFU and spend some time here reading bc women are criticized and blamed for everything here. So you. A point that wagging finger at yourself.

By other women. Misogyny is a woman’s thing now.