Napping on vacation when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a DW and like to take naps whenever possible - especially on vacation. With non-little children, this should not be a big deal.

Get up and do most of your activities in the morning and then have some quiet time before dinner. Better to be out of the sun if possible or sunscreen up and chill by the pool if you don't want to be indoors.

Vacations are for relaxing and taking a change of pace. OP just seems to be bothered by DH in general and likes to be a victim. This is very manageable since you are early risers.

The example you could relate to is if your husband insisted that every day at 2pm, everyone must leave the pool and go attend tennis lessons. NO EXCEPTIONS. He's booked 2.5 hours.

It's one member of a family disrupting the flow of the rest of the family. Whether it's by sleeping or forcing activity, it's selfish and it sucks.

More like Dad has a tennis lesson booked at this specific time. Either you plan around it or the rest of the fam does something else while hes at tennis. No one else has to do anything.

This isn't complicated.

Imagine your perfect vacation. Maybe it's forcing our family to run a marathon. Maybe it's sittiing like a slug in a RV park in Williamsport MD. Pick what you want to do.

Now, imagine one person in your family who REFUSES to go along and disrupts your ideal. Every day. No exception.

We all have different vacay styles and that's okay. We're never going to convince that PP who wants to mooch around all day avoiding frescos that someone else wants to do interesting things. That's fine. It's a matter of taste. The point is, a family member who refuses to let the rest of the family have the vacation they want.

You're right, its not that complicated. He's not refusing anything, at least OP hasn't said that. He just prefers to plan his day around nap/tennis, and OP doesnt like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a DW and like to take naps whenever possible - especially on vacation. With non-little children, this should not be a big deal.

Get up and do most of your activities in the morning and then have some quiet time before dinner. Better to be out of the sun if possible or sunscreen up and chill by the pool if you don't want to be indoors.

Vacations are for relaxing and taking a change of pace. OP just seems to be bothered by DH in general and likes to be a victim. This is very manageable since you are early risers.

The example you could relate to is if your husband insisted that every day at 2pm, everyone must leave the pool and go attend tennis lessons. NO EXCEPTIONS. He's booked 2.5 hours.

It's one member of a family disrupting the flow of the rest of the family. Whether it's by sleeping or forcing activity, it's selfish and it sucks.

More like Dad has a tennis lesson booked at this specific time. Either you plan around it or the rest of the fam does something else while hes at tennis. No one else has to do anything.

This isn't complicated.

Imagine your perfect vacation. Maybe it's forcing our family to run a marathon. Maybe it's sittiing like a slug in a RV park in Williamsport MD. Pick what you want to do.

Now, imagine one person in your family who REFUSES to go along and disrupts your ideal. Every day. No exception.

We all have different vacay styles and that's okay. We're never going to convince that PP who wants to mooch around all day avoiding frescos that someone else wants to do interesting things. That's fine. It's a matter of taste. The point is, a family member who refuses to let the rest of the family have the vacation they want.

He's not chaining them to the hotel room. They can go do whatever they want. And it's two hours, not all day.

We haven’t missed your point. We just disagree with it.
You're missing the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Of course it’s still an issue. OP has an 11 and 13 year old. They can’t even go to the hotel pool without an adult to supervise let alone go out in an unfamiliar city, drive, go sight seeing alone.

No one is sending them out to sightsee alone. They are old enough to behave quietly and sit in the room or somewhere in the hotel. These are not little kids. The issue seems to be that OP only wants it be a family foursome at all times, not that the kids cannot occupy themselves safely for a couple hours.

What are a 13 and 11 year old going to do on their own for 2 hrs if they’re too young to go to hotel pool or go out sight seeing alone? Depending where you are, I might not want a 13 and 11 yo out anywhere in an unfamiliar city alone. If it’s a small town, sure they can go out exploring or hang at a coffee shop or go see a movie or something. In a big city they’re unfamiliar w? No. Of course they’re old enough to be quiet and sit in the room but that’s not what most people want to do every day of a 1 week vacation..you seem to imagine the kids hanging in the hotel lobby or something? What are they meant to be doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a DW and like to take naps whenever possible - especially on vacation. With non-little children, this should not be a big deal.

Get up and do most of your activities in the morning and then have some quiet time before dinner. Better to be out of the sun if possible or sunscreen up and chill by the pool if you don't want to be indoors.

Vacations are for relaxing and taking a change of pace. OP just seems to be bothered by DH in general and likes to be a victim. This is very manageable since you are early risers.

The example you could relate to is if your husband insisted that every day at 2pm, everyone must leave the pool and go attend tennis lessons. NO EXCEPTIONS. He's booked 2.5 hours.

It's one member of a family disrupting the flow of the rest of the family. Whether it's by sleeping or forcing activity, it's selfish and it sucks.

More like Dad has a tennis lesson booked at this specific time. Either you plan around it or the rest of the fam does something else while hes at tennis. No one else has to do anything.

This isn't complicated.

Imagine your perfect vacation. Maybe it's forcing our family to run a marathon. Maybe it's sittiing like a slug in a RV park in Williamsport MD. Pick what you want to do.

Now, imagine one person in your family who REFUSES to go along and disrupts your ideal. Every day. No exception.

We all have different vacay styles and that's okay. We're never going to convince that PP who wants to mooch around all day avoiding frescos that someone else wants to do interesting things. That's fine. It's a matter of taste. The point is, a family member who refuses to let the rest of the family have the vacation they want.

He's not chaining them to the hotel room. They can go do whatever they want. And it's two hours, not all day.

We haven’t missed your point. We just disagree with it.
You're missing the point.

Right. You think DH should get to do what he wants, and the rest of the family's vacation can be put on hold. That's fine. That's your choice. Normal people just find that selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this really depends on what type of vacation it is. Staying at a beach resort? No big deal as long as the DH can at least occasionally be open to change (if say, the only available slot for the boat tour or whatever is at 2pm or something). Otherwise who cares- the rest of the family can continue to hang out at the pool or beach, find another activity around the resort or also take some downtime in the rooms etc. However, if it is a more active vacation with excursions or sightseeing plans this would be a total PITA on some days and really limit things for the rest of the family.

Or on an active vacation, DH can go back to the hotel and they can continue to paddle board or walk around a European city or whatever.

DH has decided he won't allow his family to do what they want. Play with the scenario all you want, the OP doesn't need advice on how to accommodate a lazy vacationer, the point is he's disrupting and he doesn't care.

You really seem to be projecting. OP didnt say anything about "not allowing" his family to do what they want. In fact, it sounds like he may encourage them to do what they want while he gets his nap in! Why are you so hell bent on twisting this post to fit your narrative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have him plan a nap time in advance for entire vacation. Then structure day around it. Dump him back at hotel and carry on. Or that is pool/beach time, mini golf, whatever.

Does he have sleep apnea?

Right. Does everyone have to be "on" and together all the time? I would take that time to read or something. It's his vacation, too.

+1
OP sounds like a vacation slave driver. People are allowed to want to relax on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Only one of them is a teen. See OP's PP about them not being old enough to be at the pool alone.

An 11 is old enough to quietly occupy themselves.

You keep saying this but still haven’t said what they should actually be doing during that time? when we’re on vacation, we don’t have to fill every minute w activities and we do build in down time/screen or reading or napping time but 2 hrs a day of that is kind of a lot. The vacation is only 1 week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have him plan a nap time in advance for entire vacation. Then structure day around it. Dump him back at hotel and carry on. Or that is pool/beach time, mini golf, whatever.

Does he have sleep apnea?

Right. Does everyone have to be "on" and together all the time? I would take that time to read or something. It's his vacation, too.

+1
OP sounds like a vacation slave driver. People are allowed to want to relax on vacation.

You should go on vacation with him.

Unfortunately, he's on vacation with his family. He needs to be a grown up and spend time with his kids.

[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago, I took my kids to the beach. It was awesome, we did a ton of stuff. And one evening, instead of doing one of the 100 things on our to-do list, I napped while the kids watched tv in the room. It was awesome and very much needed for all of us.

It is ok to nap. It is ok to let your kids watch tv/play on the ipad/etc. Not everything in life needs to be busy and planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Only one of them is a teen. See OP's PP about them not being old enough to be at the pool alone.

An 11 is old enough to quietly occupy themselves.

You keep saying this but still haven’t said what they should actually be doing during that time? when we’re on vacation, we don’t have to fill every minute w activities and we do build in down time/screen or reading or napping time but 2 hrs a day of that is kind of a lot. The vacation is only 1 week.

Regardless of the rules, no one is going to kick out an 11 year sitting quietly by the pool reading. It sounds like a lot of don’t travel with tweens and teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have him plan a nap time in advance for entire vacation. Then structure day around it. Dump him back at hotel and carry on. Or that is pool/beach time, mini golf, whatever.

Does he have sleep apnea?

Right. Does everyone have to be "on" and together all the time? I would take that time to read or something. It's his vacation, too.

+1
OP sounds like a vacation slave driver. People are allowed to want to relax on vacation.

You should go on vacation with him.

Unfortunately, he's on vacation with his family. He needs to be a grown up and spend time with his kids.

He is, except for when he's napping. Which is 2/24h.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this really depends on what type of vacation it is. Staying at a beach resort? No big deal as long as the DH can at least occasionally be open to change (if say, the only available slot for the boat tour or whatever is at 2pm or something). Otherwise who cares- the rest of the family can continue to hang out at the pool or beach, find another activity around the resort or also take some downtime in the rooms etc. However, if it is a more active vacation with excursions or sightseeing plans this would be a total PITA on some days and really limit things for the rest of the family.

Or on an active vacation, DH can go back to the hotel and they can continue to paddle board or walk around a European city or whatever.

DH has decided he won't allow his family to do what they want. Play with the scenario all you want, the OP doesn't need advice on how to accommodate a lazy vacationer, the point is he's disrupting and he doesn't care.

You really seem to be projecting. OP didnt say anything about "not allowing" his family to do what they want. In fact, it sounds like he may encourage them to do what they want while he gets his nap in! Why are you so hell bent on twisting this post to fit your narrative?

Let's review the tape... OP wrote in her original post:

It’s unfair because the options are to hang back at the hotel and wait, or head out on an experience that they want to enjoy with dad

OP also wrote in her original post:

Whenever we go on vacation, he expects and anticipates napping mid-day,

in her second followup post she wrote:

This is a two-hour nap every day or he’s crabby like a toddler.

In her third post, she wrote:

OP again: Somehow he can get through a work day, a round of golf and drinks at the club, etc etc, without this nap.

OP is making it VERY clear that DH is making a choice to "nap" for 2+ hours during prime-time for activities for his children and he "expects" it and "crabby like a toddler" if he doesn't get his way.

His kids just want to do fun things with him and he's angry when he can't "nap" for 2+ hours with his phone, OnlyFans and locked hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps.

I don't know if anyone has addressed this, but your framing here is absolutely bonkers. It isn't that you aren't getting a similar break, you are just refusing to take one. You could take one if you wanted to. But you apparently don't want to, and don't want him to either. That's a valid (though selfish) position to take, but it is crazy to suggest that it's unfair that you don;t get something that you don't want, and could have but choose not to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few weeks ago, I took my kids to the beach. It was awesome, we did a ton of stuff. And one evening, instead of doing one of the 100 things on our to-do list, I napped while the kids watched tv in the room. It was awesome and very much needed for all of us.

It is ok to nap. It is ok to let your kids watch tv/play on the ipad/etc. Not everything in life needs to be busy and planned.

The OP has made it clear she doesn't think that, but that her kids want to do special activities with their Dad, and he won't. That's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a DW and like to take naps whenever possible - especially on vacation. With non-little children, this should not be a big deal.

Get up and do most of your activities in the morning and then have some quiet time before dinner. Better to be out of the sun if possible or sunscreen up and chill by the pool if you don't want to be indoors.

Vacations are for relaxing and taking a change of pace. OP just seems to be bothered by DH in general and likes to be a victim. This is very manageable since you are early risers.

The example you could relate to is if your husband insisted that every day at 2pm, everyone must leave the pool and go attend tennis lessons. NO EXCEPTIONS. He's booked 2.5 hours.

It's one member of a family disrupting the flow of the rest of the family. Whether it's by sleeping or forcing activity, it's selfish and it sucks.

More like Dad has a tennis lesson booked at this specific time. Either you plan around it or the rest of the fam does something else while hes at tennis. No one else has to do anything.

This isn't complicated.

Imagine your perfect vacation. Maybe it's forcing our family to run a marathon. Maybe it's sittiing like a slug in a RV park in Williamsport MD. Pick what you want to do.

Now, imagine one person in your family who REFUSES to go along and disrupts your ideal. Every day. No exception.

We all have different vacay styles and that's okay. We're never going to convince that PP who wants to mooch around all day avoiding frescos that someone else wants to do interesting things. That's fine. It's a matter of taste. The point is, a family member who refuses to let the rest of the family have the vacation they want.

It isn’t complicated. OP can plan her dream day and her husband can get himself back to the hotel at naptime.

The real issue is some people lack independence and don’t enjoy hanging with their tweens/teens.