Napping on vacation when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

If this were me, I would plan outings during his nap. If you’re on a week long vacation, you’re getting plenty of time together besides those two hours he naps. So yeah—either everyone gets a 2 hour afternoon “quiet time” to do with what they want (reading and napping sounds lovely to me) or you plan something and stop being upset that he doesn’t come with you. That’s his loss! The did will be fine that he doesn’t come, do they care that much or do YOU care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would be more concerned about why he needs these naps, probably not getting quality sleep because of some health issue.

+1. Look into this, OP. Not normal for a healthy presumably 40s-50s adult to need a 2 hr nap every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

Just because you cherish spending every waking moment with your kids doesn’t mean your DH has to feel the same way. It’s perfectly reasonable to want a an hour or two to yourself each day during a vacation and your kids are old enough that it’s reasonable for each parent to be able to do so without unduly burdening the other.

You complain it’s unfair that he gets this break and you don’t but it’s pretty clear you don’t actually want time to yourself, you just don’t want him to have it either. You need to become more independent and stop waiting around for him to do each and every activity. Plan something to do just you and the kids or occasionally do something for yourself and let him bear the brunt of the kids being bored while he naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

Of course it’s still an issue. OP has an 11 and 13 year old. They can’t even go to the hotel pool without an adult to supervise let alone go out in an unfamiliar city, drive, go sight seeing alone.

No one is sending them out to sightsee alone. They are old enough to behave quietly and sit in the room or somewhere in the hotel. These are not little kids. The issue seems to be that OP only wants it be a family foursome at all times, not that the kids cannot occupy themselves safely for a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

How old is your husband? If he’s less than 65 he needs to get checked out.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a big weekend/day off napper, when the opportunity arises. It’s never a quick cat nap, it’s a two-hour long event. Whenever we go on vacation, he expects and anticipates napping mid-day, and if we don’t head back to the hotel, he slogs between 4-dinner time. This was fine when our kids were younger and also napped, but it’s annoying and unfair now that they are tweens and teens. It’s unfair because the options are to hang back at the hotel and wait, or head out on an experience that they want to enjoy with dad, whatever it is we are doing while he naps. Less important but worth noting is the unfairness to me because it’s not like I get a similar break; in fact, I would find it incredibly selfish to take two hours every day for myself on family vacation. We coordinated and paid money to take this trip, it seems foolish to waste 14 waking hours of the trip on naps. We don’t get up early, we head to bed at a reasonable time. I don’t understand how he needs a nap at 3pm when he was up at 8am and will head to bed by 11pm.

But maybe I’m wrong here? I’m curious what you think of this?

There ARE no “vacations” with kids. There are only “trips.”

[Anonymous]

I am you but the kids are younger. I blame untreated sleep apnea and alcohol abuse.

[Anonymous]

I don't need to nap every day, but nor do I want to go-go-go all day, every day of my vacation. I want some downtime each day. At your kids' ages they should be capable of entertaining themselves with a book or other quiet activity for an hour to two at your hotel. Some people enjoy relaxing on their vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him plan a nap time in advance for entire vacation. Then structure day around it. Dump him back at hotel and carry on. Or that is pool/beach time, mini golf, whatever.

Does he have sleep apnea?

Or undiagnosed diabetes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this were me, I would plan outings during his nap. If you’re on a week long vacation, you’re getting plenty of time together besides those two hours he naps. So yeah—either everyone gets a 2 hour afternoon “quiet time” to do with what they want (reading and napping sounds lovely to me) or you plan something and stop being upset that he doesn’t come with you. That’s his loss! The did will be fine that he doesn’t come, do they care that much or do YOU care?

You do not need to be together 24/7 for "quality family time". Everyone needs a break from each other from time to time. Leave him at the hotel and do what you want. Then later take an hour or two and do whatever you want without the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would be more concerned about why he needs these naps, probably not getting quality sleep because of some health issue.

He probably wants a break from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i would be more concerned about why he needs these naps, probably not getting quality sleep because of some health issue.

He probably wants a break from OP.

I agree. OP sounds like a bitter, judgy shrew. Who says these things about their partner?

[Anonymous]

Still working on the logistics of this. If you are at the beach and he needs to be back at the hotel for his nap this would mean packing up at 1, getting the car, driving back to the hotel and parking? Then picking him up at 4 would mean another drive out somewhere and then back and then parking etc? This could easily take every half day for the whole vacation.

If you are not leaving the hotel early this means very short beach days or sightseeing if you are using public transportation or Ubers or whatever. I would be annoyed at having to get the baby back to the hotel to nap with only one rental car or whatever.

if my vacation is costing five hundred dollars a day and the nap takes almost half the day that’s a really expensive nap. The husband needs to rent his own car and travel separately to morning sightseeing if he needs to get back early for a nap, or to Uber or something.

Are you sure he is actually napping and not calling or sexting his girlfriend or something?

[Anonymous]

I do think his behavior is unusual, especially if you have told him that the kids are disappointed that he needs to nap so much. But, my honest opinion is that you need to figure out how to make peace with his wanting to nap and do your own thing rather than being "in limbo." He likely has some sort of physical or mental health need to do this. If not, he is kind of an a**hole. Take your pick on what you think is going on.

An actual idea: Maybe you need to figure out a different type of vacation. You say that everyone is busy at home. Maybe he really just wants a relaxing vacation. What about a resort or cruise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand- the kids are teens. Send them to the pool if they don’t want to nap.

It not at all that are stuck with the kids; the teens want a little rope.

You are mad because you think he gets a break and you don’t. But since the kids aren’t babies, this t even an issue.

I cherish this time with my kids, but we are sort of in limbo waiting on his naps, and want him included. We are busy at home and rarely get this sort of quality time. The kids wish he didn’t have to nap.

Sounds like he doesent care if he's included. I'd go on with my plans with the kids and let him find his own way back to the hotel for his daily naps.