Napping on vacation when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fascinated by the people who think the OP wants everyone together 24/7. She’s specifically asking for him to be available mid-afternoon on some vacation days. That’s not 24/7 and it’s a super small ask.

Considering they are together the other 22/24 then yes... she does want 24/7. She's trying to remove the only "non-family" time he has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild to me. I’m a physician who gets through 14 hour shifts in the hospital with no problem. But when I’m not seeing patients and have a day off at home, you bet I nap. If my spouse told me I couldn’t nap on vacation I would say I’ll see you when you get back, enjoy the beach.

Is your spouse a stay at home ?

Sounds like it because you expect to do what you want when you want. When kids are little, their needs come first.

You sound very entitled.

+1

Yeah, we all work hard, Doc. You just get paid better. Be a better husband and father, please.

Nice try ladies. I’m the DW. Husband is a fed.

Jesus. Who needs men to hold us back with you two around?

Observing that a particular woman's behavior could stand improvement is not an attack on sisterhood

Who said anything about an attack? Both posters assumed I was a man. The casually confident bias (from mothers, raising children, no less) from both posters is just as damaging to the idea of equality, moreso in fact, because they don’t even know they’re doing it.

Re: the actual topic at hand, our family functions the way most common sense-oriented posters on this thread have suggested. We do fun activities in the morning; by afternoon everyone gets to do what they want. If that means my husband and I take shifts so someone can get some downtime that’s what we do. That’s what I would suggest for OP to do (rather than multiple pages of debating the merits of a nap on vacation). Having one parent “check out” every afternoon would be unacceptable no matter what the activity was. Vacation is supposed to be relaxing for everyone. But since my only original point was that napping on vacation is OK, I will stand by that point.

Because I’m sure you are as aware of the statistics of parenting as I am, I am more than an involved parent, in fact, I’m the default, like most moms. I still nap. Worry about your own behavior!

That's reasonable, but it seems like OP doesn't want to trade off with her husband; she wants everybody doing the same activity together 24/7.

And also, her husband is similarly rigid about his nap.

To be clear, at no point did OP say that the family always has to be together or that she needs him to take a slightly later or earlier nap everyday. It just sounds like the kids want their dad to come with them for a few special adventures.

He won’t. His “nap” is too important for their special adventures.

At no point did OP say that he refuses to adjust his timing if there are activities planned either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild to me. I’m a physician who gets through 14 hour shifts in the hospital with no problem. But when I’m not seeing patients and have a day off at home, you bet I nap. If my spouse told me I couldn’t nap on vacation I would say I’ll see you when you get back, enjoy the beach.

Is your spouse a stay at home ?

Sounds like it because you expect to do what you want when you want. When kids are little, their needs come first.

You sound very entitled.

+1

Yeah, we all work hard, Doc. You just get paid better. Be a better husband and father, please.

Nice try ladies. I’m the DW. Husband is a fed.

Jesus. Who needs men to hold us back with you two around?

Observing that a particular woman's behavior could stand improvement is not an attack on sisterhood

Who said anything about an attack? Both posters assumed I was a man. The casually confident bias (from mothers, raising children, no less) from both posters is just as damaging to the idea of equality, moreso in fact, because they don’t even know they’re doing it.

Re: the actual topic at hand, our family functions the way most common sense-oriented posters on this thread have suggested. We do fun activities in the morning; by afternoon everyone gets to do what they want. If that means my husband and I take shifts so someone can get some downtime that’s what we do. That’s what I would suggest for OP to do (rather than multiple pages of debating the merits of a nap on vacation). Having one parent “check out” every afternoon would be unacceptable no matter what the activity was. Vacation is supposed to be relaxing for everyone. But since my only original point was that napping on vacation is OK, I will stand by that point.

Because I’m sure you are as aware of the statistics of parenting as I am, I am more than an involved parent, in fact, I’m the default, like most moms. I still nap. Worry about your own behavior!

That's reasonable, but it seems like OP doesn't want to trade off with her husband; she wants everybody doing the same activity together 24/7.

And also, her husband is similarly rigid about his nap.

To be clear, at no point did OP say that the family always has to be together or that she needs him to take a slightly later or earlier nap everyday. It just sounds like the kids want their dad to come with them for a few special adventures.

He won’t. His “nap” is too important for their special adventures.

At no point did OP say that he refuses to adjust his timing if there are activities planned either.

But she did say “ This is a two-hour nap every day or he’s crabby like a toddler.”

[Anonymous]

Some people are lower energy and/or introverted and need some time to rest and recharge during the day. You can either force him to skip the nap and accept that he’ll be crabby, cultivate some independence and continue on without him, or all go back to the hotel together to nap, read, watch a movie, or write in a journal. This leopard isn’t going to change his spots.

[Anonymous]

I call false on OP blaming the unhappiness on the “kids.” If this is all they have known, then it would just be how their vacations go. I think OP is blaming them, when it’s her that is unhappy about the arrangement. If my spouse was a happier/ more cheerful person with a nap, then I would be totally okay with that.

The choice OP has is figuring out what the issue is. Does she also want downtime? If the issue is that she wants the family go-go-going all day, then it’s unfair of her to impose her vacation style on her partner. She can either figure out how she gets *her* downtime or figure out what to do during his nap time that doesn’t make her resentful.

[Anonymous]

It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild to me. I’m a physician who gets through 14 hour shifts in the hospital with no problem. But when I’m not seeing patients and have a day off at home, you bet I nap. If my spouse told me I couldn’t nap on vacation I would say I’ll see you when you get back, enjoy the beach.

Is your spouse a stay at home ?

Sounds like it because you expect to do what you want when you want. When kids are little, their needs come first.

You sound very entitled.

+1

Yeah, we all work hard, Doc. You just get paid better. Be a better husband and father, please.

Nice try ladies. I’m the DW. Husband is a fed.

Jesus. Who needs men to hold us back with you two around?

Observing that a particular woman's behavior could stand improvement is not an attack on sisterhood

Who said anything about an attack? Both posters assumed I was a man. The casually confident bias (from mothers, raising children, no less) from both posters is just as damaging to the idea of equality, moreso in fact, because they don’t even know they’re doing it.

Re: the actual topic at hand, our family functions the way most common sense-oriented posters on this thread have suggested. We do fun activities in the morning; by afternoon everyone gets to do what they want. If that means my husband and I take shifts so someone can get some downtime that’s what we do. That’s what I would suggest for OP to do (rather than multiple pages of debating the merits of a nap on vacation). Having one parent “check out” every afternoon would be unacceptable no matter what the activity was. Vacation is supposed to be relaxing for everyone. But since my only original point was that napping on vacation is OK, I will stand by that point.

Because I’m sure you are as aware of the statistics of parenting as I am, I am more than an involved parent, in fact, I’m the default, like most moms. I still nap. Worry about your own behavior!

That's reasonable, but it seems like OP doesn't want to trade off with her husband; she wants everybody doing the same activity together 24/7.

And also, her husband is similarly rigid about his nap.

To be clear, at no point did OP say that the family always has to be together or that she needs him to take a slightly later or earlier nap everyday. It just sounds like the kids want their dad to come with them for a few special adventures.

He won’t. His “nap” is too important for their special adventures.

At no point did OP say that he refuses to adjust his timing if there are activities planned either.

But she did say “ This is a two-hour nap every day or he’s crabby like a toddler.”

Yes she did. What about that says "he will never move his nap if we have activities planned"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call false on OP blaming the unhappiness on the “kids.” If this is all they have known, then it would just be how their vacations go. I think OP is blaming them, when it’s her that is unhappy about the arrangement. If my spouse was a happier/ more cheerful person with a nap, then I would be totally okay with that.

The choice OP has is figuring out what the issue is. Does she also want downtime? If the issue is that she wants the family go-go-going all day, then it’s unfair of her to impose her vacation style on her partner. She can either figure out how she gets *her* downtime or figure out what to do during his nap time that doesn’t make her resentful.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

I’m not sure if you think you’ll convince me with semantics, but if we’re being adults and not trolling we understand that an angry husband throwing tantrums is not the same as explicitly refusing to move his nap, but is the same thing.

[Anonymous]

He could have slept on a lounger at Xcaret, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

I’m not sure if you think you’ll convince me with semantics, but if we’re being adults and not trolling we understand that an angry husband throwing tantrums is not the same as explicitly refusing to move his nap, but is the same thing.

Being crabby is not the same as throwing a tantrum. Gosh, are you sure you have children? A real parent would know the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

I’m not sure if you think you’ll convince me with semantics, but if we’re being adults and not trolling we understand that an angry husband throwing tantrums is not the same as explicitly refusing to move his nap, but is the same thing.

Being crabby is not the same as throwing a tantrum. Gosh, are you sure you have children? A real parent would know the difference.

Semantics don’t change the fact that this guy is a dud who selfishly interrupts his children’s vacation to do something for himself. Not much of a dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

I’m not sure if you think you’ll convince me with semantics, but if we’re being adults and not trolling we understand that an angry husband throwing tantrums is not the same as explicitly refusing to move his nap, but is the same thing.

Being crabby is not the same as throwing a tantrum. Gosh, are you sure you have children? A real parent would know the difference.

Semantics don’t change the fact that this guy is a dud who selfishly interrupts his children’s vacation to do something for himself. Not much of a dad.

Semantics do matter, because not all of us think he is selfish, interrupting a vacation and some even think its fine to *gasp* relax a tiny bit on a vacation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so weird how ppl don’t read the post. It’s like they’re super sensitive about this and talking about their own problems.

It’s all pretty laid out - she doesn’t want him there 24 hours, but the kids want to do certain things with their parents. They want to do it with him, but he’s got an inflexible nap schedule on vacations, so she always has to do the damn stuff. She feels bad about the kids and she feels bad that she doesn’t get a breaks

She doesn’t need advice about what 12yo kids can do without their parents or sermons from people whose vacations are lower key or advice that she should just reschedule the activities.

I know exactly what she’s talking about. Last spring break we went to Cancun - some days there was nothing but pool and the kids went to the kids club, but by far, the highlight of the kids trip was going to Xcaret water/adventure park - it was a day and an outing that there was no scheduling around, and this guys family wouldn’t have been able to go because he wouldn’t move his nap. I agree with the ppl who are like “you don’t have to have an action packed trip” - we certainly didn’t, it was 1/7 days, and it was a kid driven outing.

My kids aren’t old enough to do para sailing but the resort we were at offered it only in the afternoons when they had wind. The scuba trips, mid afternoon. In my experience at a resort like we went to, the pool dies down midday, some people go nap, but if you’re having an activity that’s prime time.

If it was up to me, I’d never leave the pool side, I’d nap, I’d watch the girls, I’d read a book and my kids could go sit in the room and watch Nickelodeon - fine with me! But it’s a family vacation, we’re here to show them a good time, so, if one one or two days out of the vacation I have to give up my mid afternoon by the pool, that’s fine. I’m their dad and, like a lot of dadhood, it can be a real pain in the moment, but it’s special for them and I never regret it.

This guy should man up, grab an iced coffee, and 2 afternoons of the trip, power through, without a tantrum, to do something fun with the kids. Not sure why this is controversial.

It's so weird how you didn't read the OP either. No where did OP say that he wouldn't skip his nap, ever. In fact OP talks about his behaviour when he does skip naps, so clearly he does sometimes.

I’m not sure if you think you’ll convince me with semantics, but if we’re being adults and not trolling we understand that an angry husband throwing tantrums is not the same as explicitly refusing to move his nap, but is the same thing.

Being crabby is not the same as throwing a tantrum. Gosh, are you sure you have children? A real parent would know the difference.

Semantics don’t change the fact that this guy is a dud who selfishly interrupts his children’s vacation to do something for himself. Not much of a dad.

And why are you lying about being a dad on a parenting website?