Married Female Feminists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a happily married feminist, and your spouse is a man, what is your husband like? Are there traits or green flags that men can exhibit that would suggest that they would romantically pair well with a feminist?

My husband and I are both feminists in that we both believe in equality and advocate for women's rights, we vote for leaders who do the same, we both see that men have historically been prioritized over women and that women have been treated unjustly throughout history, we talk w/ our kids about gender stereotypes and sexism and strongly refute any sexist/misogynistic talk that comes up from the kids or in movies/tv/books/the news.

On paper, we have a more traditional marriage: he works and I am a stay at home mom. This was entirely my choice (my husband would have supported me either way, whether I chose to be a SAHM or chose to keep working after we had kids) and it works for us. I genuinely wanted to be a stay at home parent. I love being home w/ my kids. I even enjoy managing the household tasks. Yes, I do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, chores, errands, and almost all kid-related planning and managing (signing kids up for activities, taking them to the Dr., planning play dates w/ their friends, buying them clothes, etc.) but my husband does a lot with the kids when he's not at work. he's a very involved dad. I'd say he is the primary parent in the evenings and on weekends and holidays. He comes home and totally takes over whatever is going on w/ the kids (helping w/ homework, playing with them, reading to them, taking them to activities, taking them to bed, giving them baths, etc.).

How is he as a partner? Kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful, generous, considerate. He is the best partner I could ever hope for. He is a great listener, he cares deeply about me, he values me and respects me, he is a wonderful lover.

How old are your kids, and what do you plan to do once they are in school all day?
Also, did your DH set up a retirement account for you in your name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange topic since women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As I said above;

feminism was never about equality. it has always been about supremacy.

I hope you're being a sarcastic. It's always been about equality. Despite all of the laws, women still earn less than men when they're doing the same job. I'm not talking about a minimum wage job where everybody makes the same amount of money. I'm talking about professional jobs. I work in HR and see payroll and pay rates of everybody and I've done this for several companies. There is definitely a pattern. Of course, there are woman who make a lot more then their male peers, but it's not a pattern.

Also, we still have cases where doctors don't perform tubal ligations to permanently prevent pregnancy on women without permission of the husband. My husband didn't have to get my permission when he got vasectomy. Feminism is about equal pay and equal rights.

What out-dated BS is this?

The fact is in 2024: women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As for the high-level people you claim to have encountered in the past (possibly distant past) through HR, be honest: how many of the women took a few years off to raise children, or went part-time when their children were young? If you factored that issue in, you would certainly have to agree women are doing better than men today.

And considering how few boys enter university (fewer still ever graduate) compared to women, the employment and career prospects for boys are very dim, while women will continue to own a greater and greater percentage of the workplace.

HR data show men in the exact same position with the same job duties make more money.

You are right more women go to college than men but more men are going to college than before… and college faculty are more likely to be men and student loan debt for women is higher, and men still make more money.

This has made it easier for men to get into certain colleges.

Men are less likely to go to community college than women.

The reason is men have options for high paying jobs that don’t require a degree and women don’t.

None of this is accurate. No surprise PP failed to support any of it.

It’s all true you just can’t believe it because it goes against your biased opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, women want to be feminists when it suits them and traditionalists when it doesn't. Similar to men being masculine when it suits them and passive when it doesn't. Humans are just selfish lazy asses.

Can u provide an example ?

99% of the husband / wife complaints on this forum. Peruse at your own convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men who are really good in bed are feminists. That's generally a good test.

Man here. I think I'm pretty feminist and I usually date accomplished/professional women. Most of them think I'm a good listener and good in bed. Being a good listener helps with being good in bed. Unfortunately I'm just not Alpha enough for some. A few want to be ordered to do things, shoved against the wall, and have their hair pulled--or they have trouble getting off. I'm not very good in bed for those women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband would never call himself a feminist nor would I date any man who did. He lets me be me and is not controlling. We both work and split household and childcare equally. It works for us.

What the problem with being a 'feminist'?

As a radical feminist, I believe that men can’t be feminists, but can be allies.

My lived experience is that men who call themselves feminists are usually sexists.

How so?

[Anonymous]

I know a male ‘feminist’ literary scholar who is a womanizer who dated his students and cheats on wives. The movement has been co opted by many. I still consider myself a female but judge people more by what they do than what they say.

[Anonymous]

*feminist not female

[Anonymous]

I definitely know some feminist women who admit they can't be totally attracted to a man unless he knows how to use power tools, drives a speed boat, played an aggressive sport like football, or did something else very traditionally male. I probably know more feminist women who are somewhat put off by guys like that, at least if they're white. Sexual attraction isn't always rational.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure a male professor sleeping with lots of women makes him not feminist, any more than a female professor sleeping with lots of men (or women) makes her not feminist. Sleeping with students is bad.

[Anonymous]

I’m blown away that anyone, other than a troll, can claim that women have equal and even better (!) pay than men now. That simply isn’t true. Women and men in equal roles in private industry still receive vastly different pay. In the firms I’ve worked in, it’s been known that female partners made less than men. We need to revive the ERA. Women still have a lot of work ahead.

[Anonymous]

Green flags:
-has female friends from college or work. I cannot stress this enough
-doesn’t find locker room banter funny
-has a dad who’s a good guy. My FIL isn’t perfect and sometimes the norms of his generation aren’t PC today, but he cooks, helps clean up, says I love you, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange topic since women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As I said above;

feminism was never about equality. it has always been about supremacy.

I hope you're being a sarcastic. It's always been about equality. Despite all of the laws, women still earn less than men when they're doing the same job. I'm not talking about a minimum wage job where everybody makes the same amount of money. I'm talking about professional jobs. I work in HR and see payroll and pay rates of everybody and I've done this for several companies. There is definitely a pattern. Of course, there are woman who make a lot more then their male peers, but it's not a pattern.

Also, we still have cases where doctors don't perform tubal ligations to permanently prevent pregnancy on women without permission of the husband. My husband didn't have to get my permission when he got vasectomy. Feminism is about equal pay and equal rights.

What out-dated BS is this?

The fact is in 2024: women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As for the high-level people you claim to have encountered in the past (possibly distant past) through HR, be honest: how many of the women took a few years off to raise children, or went part-time when their children were young? If you factored that issue in, you would certainly have to agree women are doing better than men today.

And considering how few boys enter university (fewer still ever graduate) compared to women, the employment and career prospects for boys are very dim, while women will continue to own a greater and greater percentage of the workplace.

HR data show men in the exact same position with the same job duties make more money.

You are right more women go to college than men but more men are going to college than before… and college faculty are more likely to be men and student loan debt for women is higher, and men still make more money.

This has made it easier for men to get into certain colleges.

Men are less likely to go to community college than women.

The reason is men have options for high paying jobs that don’t require a degree and women don’t.

None of this is accurate. No surprise PP failed to support any of it.

Employed mothers earn about the same as similarly educated women without children at home; both groups earn less than fathers.

Although gains in education have raised the average earnings of women and have narrowed the gender pay gap overall, college-educated women are no closer to wage parity with their male counterparts than other women. In 2022, women with at least a bachelor’s degree earned 79% as much as men who were college graduates, and women who were high school graduates earned 81% as much as men with the same level of education. This underscores the challenges faced by women of all education levels in closing the pay gap.

Notably, the gender wage gap has closed more among workers without a four-year college degree than among those who do have a bachelor’s degree or more education.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/

[Anonymous]

guy here. happily married to a wonderful, smart, successful wife.

i can't get into gender/racial/identity ally-ship or bias. women are doing just fine. more than fine. it's survival of the fittest out there and if a few can't keep up, too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange topic since women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As I said above;

feminism was never about equality. it has always been about supremacy.

I hope you're being a sarcastic. It's always been about equality. Despite all of the laws, women still earn less than men when they're doing the same job. I'm not talking about a minimum wage job where everybody makes the same amount of money. I'm talking about professional jobs. I work in HR and see payroll and pay rates of everybody and I've done this for several companies. There is definitely a pattern. Of course, there are woman who make a lot more then their male peers, but it's not a pattern.

Also, we still have cases where doctors don't perform tubal ligations to permanently prevent pregnancy on women without permission of the husband. My husband didn't have to get my permission when he got vasectomy. Feminism is about equal pay and equal rights.

What out-dated BS is this?

The fact is in 2024: women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As for the high-level people you claim to have encountered in the past (possibly distant past) through HR, be honest: how many of the women took a few years off to raise children, or went part-time when their children were young? If you factored that issue in, you would certainly have to agree women are doing better than men today.

And considering how few boys enter university (fewer still ever graduate) compared to women, the employment and career prospects for boys are very dim, while women will continue to own a greater and greater percentage of the workplace.

HR data show men in the exact same position with the same job duties make more money.

You are right more women go to college than men but more men are going to college than before… and college faculty are more likely to be men and student loan debt for women is higher, and men still make more money.

This has made it easier for men to get into certain colleges.

Men are less likely to go to community college than women.

The reason is men have options for high paying jobs that don’t require a degree and women don’t.

None of this is accurate. No surprise PP failed to support any of it.

Employed mothers earn about the same as similarly educated women without children at home; both groups earn less than fathers.

Although gains in education have raised the average earnings of women and have narrowed the gender pay gap overall, college-educated women are no closer to wage parity with their male counterparts than other women. In 2022, women with at least a bachelor’s degree earned 79% as much as men who were college graduates, and women who were high school graduates earned 81% as much as men with the same level of education. This underscores the challenges faced by women of all education levels in closing the pay gap.

Notably, the gender wage gap has closed more among workers without a four-year college degree than among those who do have a bachelor’s degree or more education.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/

How very deceitful of you to leave out this part of the Pew research:

“ In fact, in 22 of 250 U.S. metropolitan areas, women under the age of 30 earn the same amount as or more than their male counterparts, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.”

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/03/28/young-women-are-out-earning-young-men-in-several-u-s-cities/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange topic since women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As I said above;

feminism was never about equality. it has always been about supremacy.

I hope you're being a sarcastic. It's always been about equality. Despite all of the laws, women still earn less than men when they're doing the same job. I'm not talking about a minimum wage job where everybody makes the same amount of money. I'm talking about professional jobs. I work in HR and see payroll and pay rates of everybody and I've done this for several companies. There is definitely a pattern. Of course, there are woman who make a lot more then their male peers, but it's not a pattern.

Also, we still have cases where doctors don't perform tubal ligations to permanently prevent pregnancy on women without permission of the husband. My husband didn't have to get my permission when he got vasectomy. Feminism is about equal pay and equal rights.

What out-dated BS is this?

The fact is in 2024: women over the last 20+ years are doing much better than men economically, financially, educationally, and socially. I think we should be more concerned with how men are doing than women for now.

As for the high-level people you claim to have encountered in the past (possibly distant past) through HR, be honest: how many of the women took a few years off to raise children, or went part-time when their children were young? If you factored that issue in, you would certainly have to agree women are doing better than men today.

And considering how few boys enter university (fewer still ever graduate) compared to women, the employment and career prospects for boys are very dim, while women will continue to own a greater and greater percentage of the workplace.

HR data show men in the exact same position with the same job duties make more money.

You are right more women go to college than men but more men are going to college than before… and college faculty are more likely to be men and student loan debt for women is higher, and men still make more money.

This has made it easier for men to get into certain colleges.

Men are less likely to go to community college than women.

The reason is men have options for high paying jobs that don’t require a degree and women don’t.

None of this is accurate. No surprise PP failed to support any of it.

Employed mothers earn about the same as similarly educated women without children at home; both groups earn less than fathers.

Although gains in education have raised the average earnings of women and have narrowed the gender pay gap overall, college-educated women are no closer to wage parity with their male counterparts than other women. In 2022, women with at least a bachelor’s degree earned 79% as much as men who were college graduates, and women who were high school graduates earned 81% as much as men with the same level of education. This underscores the challenges faced by women of all education levels in closing the pay gap.

Notably, the gender wage gap has closed more among workers without a four-year college degree than among those who do have a bachelor’s degree or more education.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/

Wow, I didn’t realize it was still that bad. Thanks, PP.