Married Female Feminists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm making some assumptions on political / economic views...

For wives who advocate for financial independence from husbands: Why is willful financial dependency bad in a marriage relationship but forced (via taxation) financial dependency good when done through wealth distribution programs?

Wut? Thread killer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm making some assumptions on political / economic views...

For wives who advocate for financial independence from husbands: Why is willful financial dependency bad in a marriage relationship but forced (via taxation) financial dependency good when done through wealth distribution programs?

Wut? Thread killer.

+1 Start your own damn thread.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how you'd define a feminist but my husband has never acted like my opinions matter any less than his because I'm a woman. My happiness, career, life, etc. are as important as his are to him. We treat each other as equals. Not sure if that's what you're looking for.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My husband would never call himself a feminist nor would I date any man who did. He lets me be me and is not controlling. We both work and split household and childcare equally. It works for us.

What the problem with being a 'feminist'?

Not PP but we had this discussion at work the other day. Social media seems to have warped what some people think of as feminism. My younger coworkers almost see it was the extreme example...the man hating etc type extreme you see on SM. And several were like... Oh yeah I wouldn't identify as a feminist. When asked about their opinons and thoughts, it became clear they are feminists. Just the word seems to have taken on a different meaning.

I consider this the difference between "feminism", which is healthy, and "radical feminism" which I do NOT consider healthy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you are a happily married feminist, and your spouse is a man, what is your husband like? Are there traits or green flags that men can exhibit that would suggest that they would romantically pair well with a feminist?

My husband and I are both feminists in that we both believe in equality and advocate for women's rights, we vote for leaders who do the same, we both see that men have historically been prioritized over women and that women have been treated unjustly throughout history, we talk w/ our kids about gender stereotypes and sexism and strongly refute any sexist/misogynistic talk that comes up from the kids or in movies/tv/books/the news.

On paper, we have a more traditional marriage: he works and I am a stay at home mom. This was entirely my choice (my husband would have supported me either way, whether I chose to be a SAHM or chose to keep working after we had kids) and it works for us. I genuinely wanted to be a stay at home parent. I love being home w/ my kids. I even enjoy managing the household tasks. Yes, I do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, chores, errands, and almost all kid-related planning and managing (signing kids up for activities, taking them to the Dr., planning play dates w/ their friends, buying them clothes, etc.) but my husband does a lot with the kids when he's not at work. he's a very involved dad. I'd say he is the primary parent in the evenings and on weekends and holidays. He comes home and totally takes over whatever is going on w/ the kids (helping w/ homework, playing with them, reading to them, taking them to activities, taking them to bed, giving them baths, etc.).

How is he as a partner? Kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful, generous, considerate. He is the best partner I could ever hope for. He is a great listener, he cares deeply about me, he values me and respects me, he is a wonderful lover.

How old are your kids, and what do you plan to do once they are in school all day?
Also, did your DH set up a retirement account for you in your name?

No PP but in a very similar situation. I see where you are going with this question. All of our money is joint. I have full access to all of our accounts. Not every woman is a relationship where they need to protect themselves. We have a marriage that comes first. I don't need a retirement account in my name. I don't get or need an allowance, I could go buy a car today if I wanted to and DH wouldn't care. Not all relationships like this involve an a hole guy.

That’s what they all say, until they come sobbing on the Relationship Forum that wonderful husband is cheating or wants to divorce.

Not going to happen. But if it did, financially, I would be fine.

Because women are never blindsided by an affair or divorce. Ever.

I caveated it with that if it did happen I would be fine.

I really don’t think that many woman are blindsided. I think a lot of them just leave their blinders on. I have not been surprised by any of friend’s divorces. DH actually called a few them very early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Foremost, DH is a good listener and values win-win situations.

Real Men (tm) know that there can be no winning unless someone else is losing.

[Anonymous]

No high earning or high value man marries a feminists. They just won’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what a feminist is... aren't we all feminists? Except those very few who want to abortion bans?

There are quite a few feminists who want abortion bans.

No. Those aren’t feminists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No high earning or high value man marries a feminists. They just won’t do it.

Spoken like an insecure low-earning, low-value man who doesn’t know any high-earning or high-value man IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No high earning or high value man marries a feminists. They just won’t do it.

Hahahahahaha thank you for making my day with this one!