Married Female Feminists

[Anonymous]

If you are a happily married feminist, and your spouse is a man, what is your husband like? Are there traits or green flags that men can exhibit that would suggest that they would romantically pair well with a feminist?

[Anonymous]

Hard to answer b/c feminist means different things to different people.

[Anonymous]

I'm a feminist who has chosen to be a stay at home mother.

[Anonymous]

Feminists can’t agree on a definition of feminism. I doubt they’ll agree on this topic.

[Anonymous]

I thought I would be single forever - and was okay with it. I'm pretty easy going but hadn't found anyone that fit. I also experienced severe childhood DV and while I had worked through it in counseling, was still shy of real, long term intimacy and vulnerability.

My now-DH is the complete opposite of my father. One of the things that I found really attractive was how he was open and comfortable with his feelings. He exuded a warmth that made me feel safe emotionally. He found me interesting and wasn't intimidated by my intellect. We had many similar interests and I admired (still do) his curiosity and interest in doing new things.

That's not to say we haven't had issues (sometimes serious) in our 25 year marriage. We have. But they were never about abuse or who we were as people. I've never needed DH for material things, I needed emotional availability and respect.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a feminist. My husband is the cook in our relationship. While I stayed home for maternity leave, there was about a year when he was a stay at home dad. He has always encouraged me to make my own decisions instead of telling me what I should do. He has acknowledged as a man he has privileges I don’t- he can go out at night without worrying, he gets taken seriously by car repair people on sight. He sees misogyny in what people say - most recently on Love is Blind. He encourages our daughters to indulge their interests even when they aren’t stereotypically “girlie” ones.

[Anonymous]

I’m a feminist who is married. My husband isn’t a good feminist. We can’t all be everything.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what a feminist is... aren't we all feminists? Except those very few who want to abortion bans?

[Anonymous]

Treating everyone well regardless of status.

[Anonymous]

I am a feminist. I guess my husband is too since he supports my ability to vote, have my own credit card, have my own bank account, my own car, and so on. Green flag is he loves me for ne, warts and all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a feminist who is married. My husband isn’t a good feminist. We can’t all be everything.

What matters most, if you have a male child, is to raise him as a true feminist.

[Anonymous]

I have a professional graduate degree and have a great career. Am working on another degree currently for a career pivot when I want to slow down but still stay engaged and productive. I never planned on relying on a man for livelihood. I expect to contribute to my family, both financially and chore-wise.

Does this make me a feminist? I still like it when he buys me fresh flowers or plans a nice date night out. I look very feminine and dress as such.

DH helps out with stuff at home, with childcare, and works. I enjoy cooking and am better at it, so I do more of it. But he certainly will pitch in if I have a particularly busy week. We split up tasks based on who's better at it and make big decisions jointly. He knows when to back down when I feel strongly about something. I knew he would be a good partner for me when we were dating b/c he supported my ambitions and plans.

[Anonymous]

I consider myself a feminist but not a burn your bra type. I don’t consider my husband to be a feminist but he’s always lets me be me and is very supportive and helpful. He’s also been very supportive of our daughters’ career goals.

[Anonymous]

He's smart, generous and kind. So ... educable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a feminist. My husband is the cook in our relationship. While I stayed home for maternity leave, there was about a year when he was a stay at home dad. He has always encouraged me to make my own decisions instead of telling me what I should do. He has acknowledged as a man he has privileges I don’t- he can go out at night without worrying, he gets taken seriously by car repair people on sight. He sees misogyny in what people say - most recently on Love is Blind. He encourages our daughters to indulge their interests even when they aren’t stereotypically “girlie” ones.

Are you CERTAIN your husband is a dude? Like penis, body hair, football, WWII documentaries on TV, the whole thing?