Reply to Husband is furious at me for these two incidents...am I crazy?

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Reply to "Husband is furious at me for these two incidents...am I crazy?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like you miss or ignore cues from your DH — like maybe first thing in the morning right after he wakes up is not the best time to bring up a topic that you know makes him upset, then expect him to just roll with it.

Do you show him that you’re sensitive to his feelings and needs or is it always about what you think and what you want?  Are you are talker who’s always talking and sharing your opinions?  Is he allowed to have an opinion that’s different from you?  Do you think you’re always right?

Maybe he’s adopted opinions that are passive-aggressively contrary because he knows it’ll upset you. You need marriage counseling to get to the root of what’s going on between the two of you.  If he won’t go with you, go by yourself.  Your marriage won’t get any better by ignoring this.[/quote]

Wow. Couched in seemingly "nice" phrasing, this post actually puts the blame entirely on OP for not walking on eggshells around her DH and catering to his "feelings and needs." It's her fault he's biting back by being "contrary." She should bite her tongue because God forbid she might talk to him about a freaking article she read and want his thoughts on it--it might upset his tender self. And where did you get the impression OP doesn't "allow" him to have a different opinion? He, not she, is the one who raged then pouted like a toddler.

Self-reflection is good, for sure, and so is being objective and taking responsibility for one's own role in a dispute. I think PP might think they're encouraging OP to do those positive things.

But I wonder if PP can smell the whiff of "This really is about you and your opinions, not about him and his anger, inflexibility and immature pouting." Wow. [/quote]

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