Why are sleepovers so important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Wait wait - you hire babysitters to watch your kids but you don’t allow sleepovers?!?!

The irony is lost on you lol

Well, according to her only if the babysitter is married, otherwise the babysitter is too sketchy and might bring the boyfriend over, which will result in a 1 in 4 chance her daughter will be sexually abused. I honestly feel sadness for that posters kids.

[Anonymous]

Wow, a lot of triggering in this thread 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, a lot of triggering in this thread 😬

I admit I’m triggered by bigoted dumb biatches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

You’re irrationally equating sleepovers with sexual abuse, they are two very distinct things. You’d be more accurate linking sexual abuse with churches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Wait wait - you hire babysitters to watch your kids but you don’t allow sleepovers?!?!

The irony is lost on you lol

Well, according to her only if the babysitter is married, otherwise the babysitter is too sketchy and might bring the boyfriend over, which will result in a 1 in 4 chance her daughter will be sexually abused. I honestly feel sadness for that posters kids.

Do you realize there are more than two posters of the same opinion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

Next time OPs child is invited to a sleepover, she should decline by saying she doesn’t want her child sexually abused. I’m sure she won’t be bugged about sleepovers after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Sleepovers give tweens plenty of opportunity to commit peer on peer sexual abuse. I’m starting to understand OPs point. So many are violently defending sleepovers as if someone is breaking into their own home. Chill out. There are dangers in many activities but certain activities carry more risk than others. That is fact. Choose for your own household. Good luck!
We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

You’re irrationally equating sleepovers with sexual abuse, they are two very distinct things. You’d be more accurate linking sexual abuse with churches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Wait wait - you hire babysitters to watch your kids but you don’t allow sleepovers?!?!

The irony is lost on you lol

Well, according to her only if the babysitter is married, otherwise the babysitter is too sketchy and might bring the boyfriend over, which will result in a 1 in 4 chance her daughter will be sexually abused. I honestly feel sadness for that posters kids.

Do you realize there are more than two posters of the same opinion?

It isn't. It is the same person responding over and over again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Wait wait - you hire babysitters to watch your kids but you don’t allow sleepovers?!?!

The irony is lost on you lol

Well, according to her only if the babysitter is married, otherwise the babysitter is too sketchy and might bring the boyfriend over, which will result in a 1 in 4 chance her daughter will be sexually abused. I honestly feel sadness for that posters kids.

Do you realize there are more than two posters of the same opinion?

Nah, conflating sleepovers with sexual abuse is so far out there that the chance that more than one person shares the same outlandish view is statistically vanishingly small. I bet it’s the same crazy posting over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

Next time OPs child is invited to a sleepover, she should decline by saying she doesn’t want her child sexually abused. I’m sure she won’t be bugged about sleepovers after that.

Actually, I know you meant this sarcastically but it’s not a bad idea if they are willing to engage in the conversation. As a midwife I’m very aware of how many of my patients report a history of sexual abuse in childhood and as a mother I will do my best to prevent my children from suffering a similar trauma. Opening the conversation with families is helpful for letting everyone know their concerns, building awareness and other conversations. For example, we recently allowed a sleepover party with a group of friends for the first time and the family volunteered that they had 1 gun, in a locked gun safe in their bedroom and that no one would have access to the room period. Additionally that because of the hosting responsibilities they were laying out their commitment that there would be zero drinking on the parents part all night and that older siblings of the opposite sex would be kept separate. It made it much easier for my DH and I to feel confident in allowing our daughter to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

We didn’t do them either except w family. Yes to overnight camp and Scouts. Not a life skill or a necessity to me as a mom. DC never really asked to go either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

Next time OPs child is invited to a sleepover, she should decline by saying she doesn’t want her child sexually abused. I’m sure she won’t be bugged about sleepovers after that.

Actually, I know you meant this sarcastically but it’s not a bad idea if they are willing to engage in the conversation. As a midwife I’m very aware of how many of my patients report a history of sexual abuse in childhood and as a mother I will do my best to prevent my children from suffering a similar trauma. Opening the conversation with families is helpful for letting everyone know their concerns, building awareness and other conversations. For example, we recently allowed a sleepover party with a group of friends for the first time and the family volunteered that they had 1 gun, in a locked gun safe in their bedroom and that no one would have access to the room period. Additionally that because of the hosting responsibilities they were laying out their commitment that there would be zero drinking on the parents part all night and that older siblings of the opposite sex would be kept separate. It made it much easier for my DH and I to feel confident in allowing our daughter to attend.

You’re getting weirder and weirder. That’s not how sleepovers are arranged. Most often you know the parents well from what your child tells you, PTA, baseball, swimming, neighborhood, probably met them a few times, had them over, know their phone number and address, know what kind of jobs they have, kids already had some playdates etc and you judged that family to be trustworthy.

Then there’s an exchange like this:
“Can your kid come over for a sleepover?”
“Sure, what time?”
“5 pm. Do you want me to drop him home or you’ll pick him up in the morning?”
“I’ll pick him up because he has a game at 9”
“Great, I’ll have coffee ready for you. Bye.”

There’s no mentioning of guns, sexual abuse, alcohol drinking, at least not among people with common sense. There’s no need to because by that time you’d know what kind of people they are and screened them for things that are dealbreakers for you.

Seriously, you just seem to be very awkward and generally lacking of any social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dunno, OP. Because sleepovers are fun. And your kids are missing out. When they are older and have get togethers with old friends from childhood who start reminiscing about all the great sleepovers your kids will probably feel a pang that they missed out.

My parents didn't ban sleepovers at other houses once we were in high school, but we never could have them at our house, there were some other things I missed out on. I do feel a twinge of regret when I hear about all these fun childhood moments I didn't get to experience because my parents (mostly it was my mom) were so anxious and restrictive.

Obviously your rules. But just accept that your kids are missing out on a lot of fun with their friends because of your rules. And have some really great reasons at the ready for when your kids question it.

Most people aren’t still friends with childhood sleepover buddies. And with 1 in 4 girls molested in this country, not having sleepovers is likely to help your kid “miss out” in a good way. You should be thanking your parents instead of whining about missed “fun”.

It’s not about still being friends. It’s about learning how to be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

A strict “no sleepovers” policy is too often borne out of a parent’s transphobic prejudice.

I think it’s former sexual assault or childhood abuse.

This. The parent is likely a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

We only allowed sleepovers when our kids were middle school or older and then only if we knew the parents well.
My DH's best friend was molested by a friend's dad, who happened to be their pastor. DH witnessed that trauma and was adamant that our kids not be put in that situation.

Next time OPs child is invited to a sleepover, she should decline by saying she doesn’t want her child sexually abused. I’m sure she won’t be bugged about sleepovers after that.

Actually, I know you meant this sarcastically but it’s not a bad idea if they are willing to engage in the conversation. As a midwife I’m very aware of how many of my patients report a history of sexual abuse in childhood and as a mother I will do my best to prevent my children from suffering a similar trauma. Opening the conversation with families is helpful for letting everyone know their concerns, building awareness and other conversations. For example, we recently allowed a sleepover party with a group of friends for the first time and the family volunteered that they had 1 gun, in a locked gun safe in their bedroom and that no one would have access to the room period. Additionally that because of the hosting responsibilities they were laying out their commitment that there would be zero drinking on the parents part all night and that older siblings of the opposite sex would be kept separate. It made it much easier for my DH and I to feel confident in allowing our daughter to attend.

Yeah, that never happened. What do you mean by “older siblings of the opposite sex would be kept separate”? The living room will be off limits for them while your progeny is over so you feel better about your anxieties? Gtfo, no decent parent will do this to their child, just to put you at ease. You are certifiably crazy.