Why are sleepovers so important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only family I know that does sleepovers are social strivers - they actively want their daughter to be the popular girl at school and host parties, sleepovers, ask for a million playdates, etc. This is for an 8 year old, and we're just not comfortable with sleepovers at this age.

So my son with 3 friends sleeping over tonight. All playing video games, laughing and eating junk food.

Are we social striving?!?!

I mean give me a break. The anti sleepover ppl are so hard pressed with made up trauma crap. Lighten the f up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only family I know that does sleepovers are social strivers - they actively want their daughter to be the popular girl at school and host parties, sleepovers, ask for a million playdates, etc. This is for an 8 year old, and we're just not comfortable with sleepovers at this age.

So my son with 3 friends sleeping over tonight. All playing video games, laughing and eating junk food.

Are we social striving?!?!

I mean give me a break. The anti sleepover ppl are so hard pressed with made up trauma crap. Lighten the f up.

Plus the anti-sleepover crowd are transphobic MAGAs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only family I know that does sleepovers are social strivers - they actively want their daughter to be the popular girl at school and host parties, sleepovers, ask for a million playdates, etc. This is for an 8 year old, and we're just not comfortable with sleepovers at this age.

Lol. Either you’re misinformed or you literally don’t have any friends…sleepovers are very common, and if you don’t do them then you are the outlier (…which is fine. But if you really think that you only know one family who does them, you’re wrong or you somehow have no acquaintances …)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

Also Asian, also had sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only family I know that does sleepovers are social strivers - they actively want their daughter to be the popular girl at school and host parties, sleepovers, ask for a million playdates, etc. This is for an 8 year old, and we're just not comfortable with sleepovers at this age.

So my son with 3 friends sleeping over tonight. All playing video games, laughing and eating junk food.

Are we social striving?!?!

I mean give me a break. The anti sleepover ppl are so hard pressed with made up trauma crap. Lighten the f up.

Plus the anti-sleepover crowd are transphobic MAGAs.

I like sleepovers but hard eye roll for the one person who always brings politics into each discussion. Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

Also Asian, also had sleepovers.

I would say depends on the Asian. We're Chinese and my sons friends are mostly Indian, just demo of our neighborhood. His friends have sleepovers almost every single month. Where they will stay up till 2-3am playing games, eating and watch dumb movies. My son always gives me the sad face when I question once again, why do you have to go to another sleepover? I'm mostly annoyed that he's not getting enough "sleep" which I know, what else do you expect when you get 12-13 year old boys together? It's more of a problem when my son has soccer games the next day and then he complains he "too tired" to do things.

Anyways, while I always grew up thinking sleepovers is an America girls type thing, I find that in our lives, its' the boys who have the most sleepovers. Yes they are "Asian" and the girls in our neighborhood does NOT do sleepovers. One of my daughter's friends is also super sus about her daughter sleeping over when there are teenage boys in the house...which is why she never even came over to my daughter's house for a sleepover only when my son was away at at his own sleep over.

I don't try to judge. I know each parents have their own concerns and limits. I don't love sleepovers, but I'm OK with them and think it does offer extra bonding time with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

Also Asian, also had sleepovers.

I would say depends on the Asian. We're Chinese and my sons friends are mostly Indian, just demo of our neighborhood. His friends have sleepovers almost every single month. Where they will stay up till 2-3am playing games, eating and watch dumb movies. My son always gives me the sad face when I question once again, why do you have to go to another sleepover? I'm mostly annoyed that he's not getting enough "sleep" which I know, what else do you expect when you get 12-13 year old boys together? It's more of a problem when my son has soccer games the next day and then he complains he "too tired" to do things.

Anyways, while I always grew up thinking sleepovers is an America girls type thing, I find that in our lives, its' the boys who have the most sleepovers. Yes they are "Asian" and the girls in our neighborhood does NOT do sleepovers. One of my daughter's friends is also super sus about her daughter sleeping over when there are teenage boys in the house...which is why she never even came over to my daughter's house for a sleepover only when my son was away at at his own sleep over.

I don't try to judge. I know each parents have their own concerns and limits. I don't love sleepovers, but I'm OK with them and think it does offer extra bonding time with friends.

It’s strange kids stay up to 2 or 3 am I think it’s some lack of parenting. When kids come over (10 yo) I ask them to sleep at 10. If they don’t I’ll take away their device or just cut the internet off. They’ll wake up at 6 am to play again. Other parents I know do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

https://www.businessinsider.com/first-sleepover-truth-or-dare-parents-2024-3?amp


The above is the reason why. White culture is incredibly selfish and exclusionary. The children are the same. Combine that with their poorly developed sense of hospitality and inclusion and it is a disaster waiting to happen. I worry that my kids will be bullied, injured, defamed or sexually exploited in some way.

[Anonymous]

We did very few of them bc I find other parents can be really lax about what goes on, if there at all. Couple not so great experiences and we stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they're a ton of fun. A lot of bonding happens at sleepovers.

The best memories in middle and high school.

[Anonymous]

I didn't like having to worry about other people's kids overnight. So we had a couple as a tween for my DS but I never pushed it. He didn't really seem to care. Now that they are in HS and self-sufficient, but don't all drive yet, they like to have sleepovers to eat, play, video games and watch dumb movies like others have said. They are all nice and don't mind interacting with parents and siblings which is kind of my bar for letting his friends stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

I am an Asian immigrant and I have let both my children have sleepovers, but decide on one on one basis. For me, it depends on my child’s personality, followed by who the friend is. There are friends that are prone to drama and doing things they are not supposed to- those I would avoid.

My sister and cousins are both immigrants from Asia, and both let their children sleepover, if they are comfortable with the family.

But yes, a lot of Asian families are still a bit hesitant and I understand their perspective.

Also, a good friend of mine was touched inappropriately by her friend, on a sleepover ( less than 10 yrs old). That mother does not allow sleepovers, period.

Culturally, Asian families do a lot of sleepovers, but at the grandparents and cousins’ homes, and less at friends- mostly because they don’t know them as well as they know their family. This does not mean that occasionally something untoward doesn’t happen there. I think there is always a risk anytime a child is out of your presence and in the presence of other adults or children- but we all weigh the risks on a daily basis.

I hope that answers some of you questions. Asians are not monolithic community, so there will be a spectrum of beliefs and actions taken by parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were born in the early 1950s (one grew up in this area, one in NY) and regularly had sleepovers. Not sure where this whole “our parents didn’t have / survived without” sleepovers narrative is coming from

People born in the sixties and seventies also had sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Europeans don’t do sleep overs

Asians don’t do sleep overs

Black people don’t do sleep overs

Latinos don’t do sleepovers

This is a very “new world” whites thing

What?? I'm 40+ yo Asian and I had sleepovers all the time growing up in my home country. Not just a white thing.

I am so fascinated by this because my 8yo daughter's BFF is Asian and her mom told me no sleepovers because Asians don't do sleepovers. I have always wanted to follow up and ask why but felt weird about it, she was kind of firm and final. The mom is American so it's not an issue of another country's culture.

https://www.businessinsider.com/first-sleepover-truth-or-dare-parents-2024-3?amp


The above is the reason why. White culture is incredibly selfish and exclusionary. The children are the same. Combine that with their poorly developed sense of hospitality and inclusion and it is a disaster waiting to happen. I worry that my kids will be bullied, injured, defamed or sexually exploited in some way.

That story is about nasty 11 year olds and is not common at all. And I don’t understand the White culture reference.

Don’t accept any sleepovers if you don’t know every kid. If it’s her friends you shouldn’t have to worry about bullying, injury, defamation or sexual assault. Don’t put that type of irrational fear on your kids.