Why are sleepovers so important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t allow sleepovers, period. Why are people so outraged and appalled by a “no” to sleepovers? It’s bizarre.

My kids have traveled with school groups and sports, gone out of town with relatives, etc. We can easily say a simple “no, sorry” to a party or anything else as needed, but no to a sleepover in a private home is met with “oh no! why not?! what other dates work?!” from other parents and their kids. I just don’t get why it is so important and why such a big push for these events.

You’re ‘bizarre’.

[Anonymous]

Really strange that the main reason people are avoiding sleepovers is fear of sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it true that the anti sleepovers crowd is overrepresented by conservative, traditional, socially and sexually repressive cultures?

Absolutely

[Anonymous]

They are not. My kids were more excited about sleep overs at 5-9 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really strange that the main reason people are avoiding sleepovers is fear of sexual abuse.

Dont worry about them. Lets focus on you. Why are you doing sleepovers? What's the benefit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Honey, trust me that hiring a babysitter in that situation would not work. Don’t worry about it, I knew you wouldn’t understand, your date nights at Olive Garden are definitely different than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Honey, trust me that hiring a babysitter in that situation would not work. Don’t worry about it, I knew you wouldn’t understand, your date nights at Olive Garden are definitely different than mine.

Awww. Look at you admitting that sleepovers are for you to get some

You should have said that from the start instead of raging like some maniac about your sleepover cult. Enjoy next time. Hope it calms you down so you can make actual arguments instead of breathing fire.

[Anonymous]

We don't allow our kids to do many sleepovers because we hate how grouchy they are the next day, but we do let them go to sleepaway camp for a month so they get lots of pure, unstructured time with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't allow our kids to do many sleepovers because we hate how grouchy they are the next day, but we do let them go to sleepaway camp for a month so they get lots of pure, unstructured time with friends.

We will allow them, but thankfully they are few and far between (mostly birthday parties). I will host them, but it's a pain because I have to board the dog and there's really no place for kids to hang out unless we retreat to our bedroom. I think sleepaway camps are great and our daughter always liked them. It's the same thing in my view.

I don't think either are necessary, just fun rites of passage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Wait wait - you hire babysitters to watch your kids but you don’t allow sleepovers?!?!

The irony is lost on you lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't allow our kids to do many sleepovers because we hate how grouchy they are the next day, but we do let them go to sleepaway camp for a month so they get lots of pure, unstructured time with friends.

Because they are grouchy?

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t get to choose how other people react to your choices.

It's the "we don't allow, period." It begs the question of why.

No one is outraged or thinks they are "so important" but yeah people are curious and free to judge.

DP.

What's there to be curious about?

We don't allow because they are not important to us. I don't see what purpose they serve. I bonded just fine with my friends without sleepovers. I have close friends from when I was 10.

I allow my kids to sleep over at my sister's house because it's a long drive away and they sometimes want to spend the following morning there for an activity. If she lived closer like DD's friends do, I'd drive them there in the evening, pick them up and drive them back there in the morning.

Other than convenience/ inconvenience in the case of long distant friends,I don't see any reason why my kids shouldn't sleep in their own beds.

You don’t see what purpose they serve? As in there’s no purpose for kids to spend time together in person with their friends? Maybe you’re objecting that the time spent together is at the evening/night/morning when it is better to arrange them mid day/afternoons.

Genuine question for people that don’t do sleepovers, do you allow play dates, let your child visit friends at their house or have other kids over? I don’t see a huge distinction between this and sleepovers.

They are sleeping during sleep overs, no? So it's not the same as time spent in the afternoon. Are they up playing all night?

It’s a different experience, getting to know other adults like his friends parents, having dinner and breakfast at their house, sleeping in a different place. Sleepovers are a preview of what independent life is.

If an adult needs to keep cose observation at all times, there would be no (overnight) camps, no field trips, no hanging out at the park etc.

If you’re so anxious about what your child might see around the family if his friends chances are you skipped on your parenting duties. As a parent you should get to know the other family enough to trust them with your child, have a conversation with your child about what’s appropriate, how to get help from another adult etc.

When is it ok to leave teenagers by themselves? When they leave for college, but not a minute earlier? That’s a recipe for socially awkward, unadjusted young adults.

Oh Please.

My kids have had dinner at friends' houses. I have had their friends over for dinner. I have had their friends over for breakfast. What is the benefit of sleeping over.

Camping is quite different. It's adventure and it's usually further away than a 5- 10 minute drive.

It's a shame your kids need to sleep in someone else's bed or on the floor in someone's basement to develop social skills and independence.

And it would be pretty stupid to pay for my kids to live on campus if they were a 5 minute drive from school.

It's amazing how our parents became " independent" without ever sleeping over at a friend's house.Lol.

If you don’t see how overnight camp and sleepovers are very similar, then you’re not very bright. You don’t need to do them, but kids enjoy the experience because they are fun. By the same silly argument you might even ask what’s the benefit of inviting/visiting people for breakfast or dinner, when everyone has their own food at home.

When sending the kids to a sleepover, one big benefit is that I can go out with my spouse and spend time by ourselves doing adult things. Given how sexually repressed you seem to be, I’m sure you’d see that as a negative.

Oh sweetheart,

Some of us can afford babysitters. We don't need sleepovers for date night. And no one asked for the benefits to you, you self centered weirdo.

Honey, trust me that hiring a babysitter in that situation would not work. Don’t worry about it, I knew you wouldn’t understand, your date nights at Olive Garden are definitely different than mine.

Awww. Look at you admitting that sleepovers are for you to get some

You should have said that from the start instead of raging like some maniac about your sleepover cult. Enjoy next time. Hope it calms you down so you can make actual arguments instead of breathing fire.

You asked what the benefits are. I hope you have a “terrific” date night at your favorite buffet.

Normally I wouldn’t care, but in this thread older brothers are assumed to be sexual predators, single parents and the live in grandpa are considered sketchy. Mind boggling that people are not ashamed to make these comments.

Keep your kids on the tightest leash if you choose to, but if you’re going to be a bigot, you will be called on it.