How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

Your sons need a sister.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My 2 sons (7 and 10) have been asking me about this a lot. At school and camp a lot of girls have shirts that say various versions of like 'girls are better than boys' (i'm not sure exact wording bc the kids are telling me this second hand, but am vaguely aware through culture ofc). My kids ask 'why would they say this?' Thus far my tactic has been to explain that as yet we have had NO female president in US (I am from the UK so can talk about how we have had female leaders at home) and talk about what kind of message that sends to girls. But my kids are not dumb and their answer is - yes 100% we need a female president but that messaging is still like - girls are BETTER than boys. Any tips on how to talk about this to them? I am failing.

It sounds like your boys are internalizing female empowerment messages. No shirts say things like “girls are better.” They do have positive messages or are sardonic rejections of old stereotypes (a popular shirt in the softball world is something like “you wish you could throw like a girl.”

So maybe tell your sons to stop internalizing things so much — it isn’t about them. Girls have historically been denied opportunities and suffered from lower expectations for roles in society. And so we rightfully encourage them to achieve. Boys don’t really need that same encouragement because they have not been bombarded with messaging throughout history like a boy’s place is in the kitchen, a boy shouldn’t get a formal education, etc etc.

Yes of course they do. Boys live today, not 50 years ago.

I should rephrase that. Boys don’t need that encouragement framed in gender-specific terms. Except maybe in terms of redefining roles they play in domestic situations. Professionally and academic, the drive for boys to achieve is already endemic. There’s no need for equivalent messaging/sloganing the way it exists for girls.

It is not. You've got this wrong. If you are a curious person, you can easily find this information and it shows that boys do not succeed and achieve the way that girls do. It starts young and gets worse.

Bullshit.

Boys are not succeeding academically. Look it up. Then eat your post.

No, sealion. You made the claim. Prove it yourself. Best you’ll find, I predict, is some tropes about “what about the boys?”

Lol @ sealion. There was already a link posted in the thread. Thanks for playing.

That was a single link about education.

Now so now do other metrics for “succeed and achieve.” I’ll wait.

How about the fact that men have higher rates of substance abuse, mental illness, and suicide?

https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/articles/2019/06/03/men-more-likely-than-women-to-face-substance-use-disorders-and-mental-illness

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/suicide-data-statistics.html

That is your measure for success and achievement? Men have always been more self-destructive. That has nothing to do with policy or messaging.

How about female representation in key industries: https://economicgraph.linkedin.com/blog/women-are-still-underrepresented-in-leadership-and-the-technology-information-and-media-industry

How about the leadership gap: https://www.americanprogress.org/article/womens-leadership-gap-2/

How about barriers to advancement in the workplace: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace

How about the gender trade gap: https://www.ey.com/en_gl/global-trade/why-the-gender-gap-in-international-trade-needs-to-close-faster

Look I’m not an idiot. I realize that *at the highest levels of privilege* there are gender disparities against women. I have experienced that in my own life. But for men/boys on average, it’s absolutely wrong to claim that they are universally more privileged than women. The suicide statistics alone are sobering (4x as high).

What does the suicide rate have to do with anything? It’s now women’s fault that men have higher rates of behavioral health issues? Is there nothing men won’t try to blame women for?

[Anonymous]

It’s no wonder more men are committing suicide when they simultaneously have the weight of running the world while being told on a daily basis that they are less than, violent, evil, not needed, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s no wonder more men are committing suicide when they simultaneously have the weight of running the world while being told on a daily basis that they are less than, violent, evil, not needed, etc.

There's your problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s no wonder more men are committing suicide when they simultaneously have the weight of running the world while being told on a daily basis that they are less than, violent, evil, not needed, etc.

There's your problem.

No, there’s men’s problem.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I tell my boys that they can do anything girls can do. I tell them that they are biologically stronger than girls. I tell them that men do all the most dangerous jobs and that the jobs that keep society functioning are mostly male dominated.

Do you tell them that society should be male dominated? Do you tell them that their strength makes them better than girls or less strong boys?

Wow sounds like I hit a nerve!

Sure! Sounds like you’re deliberately raising boys to believe their strength makes them superior to other people. That’s toxic and makes you part of the problem.

DP. If you WANT boys to have a nuanced understanding of what it means that men are on the average stronger than women, it’s sure as sh*t not gonna happen by lecturing them about decentering themselves, expecting them to be superhumanly resistant to negative messaging, and expecting them to accept being judged/excluded based on their gender/color.

Teaching kids about this stuff cannot be left to ditzy leftists whose understanding of human and child psychology goes no deeper than a bumpersticker slogan. Who believe that all we have to do is read our children the Antiracist Baby Book and then they will be perfect activists.

The fact is, the progessive take on teaching values to kids is usually a projection of their own anxiety to make a show of their own moral purity. The focus is all on the adult using the proper moral words, not on how kids actually learn.

I’m the “ditzy leftist” above suggesting white boys de center themselves in this argument. I get that people think that’s lefty ditz stuff - but it’s actually a real piece of advice. People in positions of privilege often think that things apply to them when they do not. The messages about girls’ empowerment have nothing to do with OP’s sons. Telling them “this is not about you, here’s what it’s about” should help them to not feel persecuted by a tshirt. Ongoing conversations are incredibly important so that they can put the stuff they see in context - whether they agree with it or not. Not everything you see and have an emotional response to us about you. Not everything should be treated as though it’s about you. It’s not a ditzy leftist thing to say.

What I have largely seen from people saying “ditzy leftists shouldn’t be the only ones teaching kids about this stuff” is that they disagree with my views on this issue and tend to communicate it by being personally insulting, like above.

Oh don’t be personally insulted! Just decenter yourself. That wasn’t about you.

I didn’t say I was insulted. I said your kind uses personal insults when they disagree with people’s views.

I have also never heard the word “ditzy” applied to a male, so that seems like a personal insult specifically intended to devalue an opinion you disagree with, in a sexist way. There are plenty of words to imply that someone is stupid. That one just means “stupid WOMAN.” Patriarchy showing through loud and clear.

It mainly is women trying to police this stuff, though … And the women tend to have extremely shallow and confused views about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You’re assuming they have equal interest in these activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 sons (7 and 10) have been asking me about this a lot. At school and camp a lot of girls have shirts that say various versions of like 'girls are better than boys' (i'm not sure exact wording bc the kids are telling me this second hand, but am vaguely aware through culture ofc). My kids ask 'why would they say this?' Thus far my tactic has been to explain that as yet we have had NO female president in US (I am from the UK so can talk about how we have had female leaders at home) and talk about what kind of message that sends to girls. But my kids are not dumb and their answer is - yes 100% we need a female president but that messaging is still like - girls are BETTER than boys. Any tips on how to talk about this to them? I am failing.

It sounds like your boys are internalizing female empowerment messages. No shirts say things like “girls are better.” They do have positive messages or are sardonic rejections of old stereotypes (a popular shirt in the softball world is something like “you wish you could throw like a girl.”

So maybe tell your sons to stop internalizing things so much — it isn’t about them. Girls have historically been denied opportunities and suffered from lower expectations for roles in society. And so we rightfully encourage them to achieve. Boys don’t really need that same encouragement because they have not been bombarded with messaging throughout history like a boy’s place is in the kitchen, a boy shouldn’t get a formal education, etc etc.

Yes of course they do. Boys live today, not 50 years ago.

I should rephrase that. Boys don’t need that encouragement framed in gender-specific terms. Except maybe in terms of redefining roles they play in domestic situations. Professionally and academic, the drive for boys to achieve is already endemic. There’s no need for equivalent messaging/sloganing the way it exists for girls.

It is not. You've got this wrong. If you are a curious person, you can easily find this information and it shows that boys do not succeed and achieve the way that girls do. It starts young and gets worse.

Bullshit.

Boys are not succeeding academically. Look it up. Then eat your post.

No, sealion. You made the claim. Prove it yourself. Best you’ll find, I predict, is some tropes about “what about the boys?”

Lol @ sealion. There was already a link posted in the thread. Thanks for playing.

That was a single link about education.

Now so now do other metrics for “succeed and achieve.” I’ll wait.

How about the fact that men have higher rates of substance abuse, mental illness, and suicide?

https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/articles/2019/06/03/men-more-likely-than-women-to-face-substance-use-disorders-and-mental-illness

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/suicide-data-statistics.html

That is your measure for success and achievement? Men have always been more self-destructive. That has nothing to do with policy or messaging.

How about female representation in key industries: https://economicgraph.linkedin.com/blog/women-are-still-underrepresented-in-leadership-and-the-technology-information-and-media-industry

How about the leadership gap: https://www.americanprogress.org/article/womens-leadership-gap-2/

How about barriers to advancement in the workplace: https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/diversity-and-inclusion/women-in-the-workplace

How about the gender trade gap: https://www.ey.com/en_gl/global-trade/why-the-gender-gap-in-international-trade-needs-to-close-faster

Look I’m not an idiot. I realize that *at the highest levels of privilege* there are gender disparities against women. I have experienced that in my own life. But for men/boys on average, it’s absolutely wrong to claim that they are universally more privileged than women. The suicide statistics alone are sobering (4x as high).

What does the suicide rate have to do with anything? It’s now women’s fault that men have higher rates of behavioral health issues? Is there nothing men won’t try to blame women for?

On this thread, we are all women. Some of us are blaming ourselves for the current damaging state of messaging towards boys and girls.

Since women promulgate culture, we need to do a good job of it.

Lolz. “Won’t someone think of the poor boys!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 sons (7 and 10) have been asking me about this a lot. At school and camp a lot of girls have shirts that say various versions of like 'girls are better than boys' (i'm not sure exact wording bc the kids are telling me this second hand, but am vaguely aware through culture ofc). My kids ask 'why would they say this?' Thus far my tactic has been to explain that as yet we have had NO female president in US (I am from the UK so can talk about how we have had female leaders at home) and talk about what kind of message that sends to girls. But my kids are not dumb and their answer is - yes 100% we need a female president but that messaging is still like - girls are BETTER than boys. Any tips on how to talk about this to them? I am failing.

It sounds like your boys are internalizing female empowerment messages. No shirts say things like “girls are better.” They do have positive messages or are sardonic rejections of old stereotypes (a popular shirt in the softball world is something like “you wish you could throw like a girl.”

So maybe tell your sons to stop internalizing things so much — it isn’t about them. Girls have historically been denied opportunities and suffered from lower expectations for roles in society. And so we rightfully encourage them to achieve. Boys don’t really need that same encouragement because they have not been bombarded with messaging throughout history like a boy’s place is in the kitchen, a boy shouldn’t get a formal education, etc etc.

Yes of course they do. Boys live today, not 50 years ago.

I should rephrase that. Boys don’t need that encouragement framed in gender-specific terms. Except maybe in terms of redefining roles they play in domestic situations. Professionally and academic, the drive for boys to achieve is already endemic. There’s no need for equivalent messaging/sloganing the way it exists for girls.

It is not. You've got this wrong. If you are a curious person, you can easily find this information and it shows that boys do not succeed and achieve the way that girls do. It starts young and gets worse.

Bullshit.

Boys are not succeeding academically. Look it up. Then eat your post.

No, sealion. You made the claim. Prove it yourself. Best you’ll find, I predict, is some tropes about “what about the boys?”

Lol @ sealion. There was already a link posted in the thread. Thanks for playing.

That was a single link about education.

Now so now do other metrics for “succeed and achieve.” I’ll wait.

How about the fact that men have higher rates of substance abuse, mental illness, and suicide?

https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/articles/2019/06/03/men-more-likely-than-women-to-face-substance-use-disorders-and-mental-illness

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/suicide-data-statistics.html

More men successfully commit suicide because they use more violent methods, but more women attempt suicide.

[Anonymous]

If someone told one of your son’s female classmates that she throws just like a boy, it would be understood to be a compliment. If someone told one of your son’s male classmates that he throws just like a girl, it would be understood to be an insult. That’s the thinking behind these pro-girl t-shirts. It’s not okay to insult boys because they’re as awesome as girls are, and neither sex should be thought of as inferior, but there was a time when adult women couldn’t own land, couldn’t vote, and were considered to be the property of their husbands. There are still places in the world today where women aren’t allowed to drive, girls are much less likely to attend school, and females have to be accompanied by a male whenever they leave their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my boys that they can do anything girls can do. I tell them that they are biologically stronger than girls. I tell them that men do all the most dangerous jobs and that the jobs that keep society functioning are mostly male dominated.

Do you tell them that society should be male dominated? Do you tell them that their strength makes them better than girls or less strong boys?

Wow sounds like I hit a nerve!

Sure! Sounds like you’re deliberately raising boys to believe their strength makes them superior to other people. That’s toxic and makes you part of the problem.

DP. If you WANT boys to have a nuanced understanding of what it means that men are on the average stronger than women, it’s sure as sh*t not gonna happen by lecturing them about decentering themselves, expecting them to be superhumanly resistant to negative messaging, and expecting them to accept being judged/excluded based on their gender/color.

Teaching kids about this stuff cannot be left to ditzy leftists whose understanding of human and child psychology goes no deeper than a bumpersticker slogan. Who believe that all we have to do is read our children the Antiracist Baby Book and then they will be perfect activists.

The fact is, the progessive take on teaching values to kids is usually a projection of their own anxiety to make a show of their own moral purity. The focus is all on the adult using the proper moral words, not on how kids actually learn.

I’m the “ditzy leftist” above suggesting white boys de center themselves in this argument. I get that people think that’s lefty ditz stuff - but it’s actually a real piece of advice. People in positions of privilege often think that things apply to them when they do not. The messages about girls’ empowerment have nothing to do with OP’s sons. Telling them “this is not about you, here’s what it’s about” should help them to not feel persecuted by a tshirt. Ongoing conversations are incredibly important so that they can put the stuff they see in context - whether they agree with it or not. Not everything you see and have an emotional response to us about you. Not everything should be treated as though it’s about you. It’s not a ditzy leftist thing to say.

What I have largely seen from people saying “ditzy leftists shouldn’t be the only ones teaching kids about this stuff” is that they disagree with my views on this issue and tend to communicate it by being personally insulting, like above.

Oh don’t be personally insulted! Just decenter yourself. That wasn’t about you.

I didn’t say I was insulted. I said your kind uses personal insults when they disagree with people’s views.

I have also never heard the word “ditzy” applied to a male, so that seems like a personal insult specifically intended to devalue an opinion you disagree with, in a sexist way. There are plenty of words to imply that someone is stupid. That one just means “stupid WOMAN.” Patriarchy showing through loud and clear.

It mainly is women trying to police this stuff, though … And the women tend to have extremely shallow and confused views about it.

Do you hear your own misogyny?! Seriously? I’m neither shallow nor confused on this issue. You just disagree with me, and your way of doing that is to saying “women are shallow and confused.”

There are actual social issues in the world and representation is one of them. The backlash against diverse representation by white moms in defense of their white sons is unnecessary. If OP’s sons feel marginalized by shirts boosting the awesomeness of girls, she could choose to respond to them validating their current perspective, explaining the history of the problem, and providing new perspective (“this is not about boys not being awesome, there are plenty of ways for you to feel awesome other than a snarky shirt, etc.”).

I agree that the gendered power shirts are stupid and that they never come in boy power the same way they don’t come in white power - privileged groups of people do not need support in representation the same way that marginalized people do.

But I guess I’m a shallow confused woman, a ditzy leftist. Maybe I should just let my husband have the opinions, since his perspectives are guaranteed to be deeper and less confused because he is male?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

You mean like Cub Scouts was for decades?
And boys baseball, soccer, pee wee football, etc.?

I'm actually a big fan of separate sex activities (and schools). But all-girl clubs are volunteer-run activities started by moms who saw that girls were not getting opportunities. If your son is not getting opportunities, the answer is to volunteer to start something that includes him.

Cub Scouts started in 1916. Brownies also started in 1916.
The big difference is that now girls are allowed in cub scouts, but boys are NOT allowed in brownies.

And there is (and has been for decades) girls softball, soccer, gymnastics, basketball, etc. At most colleges, there are more womens sports teams than mens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sons need a sister.

My boys have a sister. I would never allow her to wear a shirt that suggests girls are better than boys. She loves her favorite daughter shirt though…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?