Millennials who are mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

Your response is what pisses me off about you millennial moms here. You are assuming things to validate your own point which are entirely inaccurate. Instead of reading exactly what I wrote your are inferring my child has kids, That the plates have been there 40 seconds and I am storming the room screaming at them About being lazy and dirty and no one civilized should having dirty dishes. This is a perfect example of the BS you millennials do to everyone around you. I am an a$$hole for simply doing dishes for my kid in silence and not saying a single word at all about it because they had been busy all week and I wanted to take something off their plate. WTF is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

Your response is what pisses me off about you millennial moms here. You are assuming things to validate your own point which are entirely inaccurate. Instead of reading exactly what I wrote your are inferring my child has kids, That the plates have been there 40 seconds and I am storming the room screaming at them About being lazy and dirty and no one civilized should having dirty dishes. This is a perfect example of the BS you millennials do to everyone around you. I am an a$$hole for simply doing dishes for my kid in silence and not saying a single word at all about it because they had been busy all week and I wanted to take something off their plate. WTF is wrong with you.

NP but both of you are equally wrong. I can easily imagine a situation where an adult child might be really upset that their parent did the dishes for them without asking. I can just as easily imagine a situation where the adult child would be delighted. Only you know your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. These are great responses. Yes, we are boomers. We come from a place where you “always respect your elders”.
We did all the things our millennial kids are doing. The burdens on our generation were different. In my situation we got zero, absolutely no support of any kind. When we had children our parents did not acknowledge them. We made every effort to enable our kids to have a relationship with grandparents. So, we did what most parents do. We gave our kids everything we did not have. That includes respecting their phase of life while giving their kids grandparents. Are we a PIA? Probably. But we love them all deeply while we, again, respect their stage in life.
They are adults. When will they learn to respect our stage in life?
In the end, we are all doing the best we can. But “kids today” (don’t go getting your knickers in a knot because that’s what you act like) need to step up.
In the meantime I will look for signs of maturity and hold on to them.

OK, OP, I cannot read the entire thread, and I think I got the answers to some of my questions here. You see your kids as spoiled and immature. They know that. They are almost certainly neither, not that it matters, because they certainly don't want to spend time with judgmental parents who treat them that way. You cannot change them. The time for that has passed. Now you need to look closely at your interactions with them, and identify the places where things go wrong. What do you say or do that gets a reaction you don't like? You need to work on your own side - not change yourself, but change your actions and reactions, and only then will you be able to change your relationship with them and get what you want out of it. But that won't happen as long as you keep looking for the problem in them, and not in the way you interact with them. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

You just described why I hate my MIL coming over. She takes over the kitchen and I can't make my poor kid or myself a meal the whole time she is here. We literally have to sneak out to eat fast food. I'm sure she thinks she is helping, but she is constantly in my way and I can't do the things I need to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

Your response is what pisses me off about you millennial moms here. You are assuming things to validate your own point which are entirely inaccurate. Instead of reading exactly what I wrote your are inferring my child has kids, That the plates have been there 40 seconds and I am storming the room screaming at them About being lazy and dirty and no one civilized should having dirty dishes. This is a perfect example of the BS you millennials do to everyone around you. I am an a$$hole for simply doing dishes for my kid in silence and not saying a single word at all about it because they had been busy all week and I wanted to take something off their plate. WTF is wrong with you.

I mean, I did say it CAN be very nice, and it CAN be annoying. There's a lot of space there and my point was that context matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time we visited one of them for their child’s first birthday, they gave us chores to do at their house. Pressure wash the outside, put together things. When they came home, they complained about the work

My parents used to ask how they could help and might suggest themselves that the outside of the house looks a little dirty with a little impatience as if implying some small condemnation. I might have remarked that we are short on cash to clean the outside but was planning on hiring someone before the winter but say that would be great if they are up for it. They agree to wash all four sides. Then they might do two sides and then I ask them why they decided not to do the other two sides and then they give me some reason like they couldn't get to it or it didn't need it and that comes out to them as complaining. I let it go and say well I'm not sure I'm going to get to the other sides till the fall and they remark that it would be better if done in the spring. Then they remark I'm ungrateful because it wasn't this perfectly happy experience where they receive complete validation for being an amazing grandparent. The stay will be pleasant otherwise but they will harbor some resentment that they weren't seen as amazing at all times.

Is this the dynamic that goes on with your kids? I often feel set up to provide an "experience" for my parents to have a loving time with the family as if they are going to Disney. They are seeking validation more than the desire to help.

Uh yea if your parents pressure wash two sides of your house the correct response is “thank you” not “when are you doing the rest.” JFC.

But...two sides of their house look different than the other two sides. It looks worse than if you didn't do it at all.

Sorry hit submit too soon. This just happened to us with someone we hired. There was a dirty spot from some dripping under a vent on our white house. They pressure washed just under the vent and now there is a clean "stripe" down the middle of our house.

Irrelevant. The post was about her own parents doing this for free not someone she hired for the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you are gaslighting us. You sound emotionally stunted and entitled.

I have a crazy aunt who is a narcissist and intensely demanding and unlikable. She however is convinced that she is a delight, an absolute delight that everyone loves yet no one can stand to be with her. She would quickly tell you how I am a big meanie that got mad at her for simply wanting to make my daughter a birthday cake. How awful, a birthday cake! She will omit that had harassed our family for months after being told no multiple times. My kids do not want to do anything with her. She’s crazy! We tried polite no thank you responses and not inviting her and this only enraged her. We tried grey rock, this enraged her more. She started calling and texting the kids demanding they do something with her. She told them to tell their meanie parents to let her see them. She scared them. She demanded that my daughter spend her birthday with her..not her friends, not us but her. This was it , we blocked her on all devices and went no contact. To ths day, she rages about us cutting her off over a birthday cake.

You may not be that bad but you certainly try to paint a picture that you are a delight when you don’t come off that way so it sounds suspicious.

My advice is to let go of feeling entitled to their children. Be pleasant when you get together, spend quality and not quantity time with them. Stop getting mad that you aren’t invited as frequently as you want.

“Feeling entitled to their children?!?” This is their grandchildren and of course they want a relationship with them.

yes they can WANT one, but they are not ENTITLED to one

FFS unless they are addicts or openly abusive, yes they are entitled. What is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

Entitlement is a two way street. Once children are adults they should grow up and learn to relate to their parents like other adults not as perpetual children who are always on the taking end of every interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good thing about millennial is that we can talk, speak up against our abusers, speak up against pedophile Priests, pedophile rich people, be free and choose whatever we feel are

I can’t wait until the day your own children call you out for the spoiled entitled narcissistic asses you really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be disowned if I ever called my dad a moron. I don’t think anything could ever repair that transgression. I also cannot imagine asking my elderly parents to do chores when they visit(?) like shovel snow from my driveway, or mop my floors should they dare visit, lest they be freeloaders.

Boundary issues from both sides. Clearly we as readers are missing a significant part of the story.

This thread took a weird turn since I last checked. Kind of entertaining

Sometimes the truth hurts but is a must. Or they will keep doing cra p.

You have to tell them how it makes you feel when they ( moron action from elderly) do

No actually you don’t. You can grow up and realize that older people grew up ins different era and the vast majority love their kids and did their best with the tools they had at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We raised 3 humans who are now millennials. They are the parents of our beautiful grandkids. They are fabulous parents.

But the treat us like crap! We are VERY respectful of their busy lives. We cherish the time they let us interact with the kids. We get to FaceTime but they NEVER invite us. The few times we have said that we want to see the kids we stay in a hotel, rent a car and leave after the kids are in bed. That’s when they have their personal time where they eat dinner.

We are made to feel like a burden. They criticize everything from our lifestyle to how we dress. They are rude, nasty and hurtful. They never ask how we are doing. We definitely bring value with our relationship with their children.

As far as saying, anything to them, we fear that they could cut us off from the grandkids. So…. We put up with this garbage.

It seems like if we disappeared tomorrow they would not be phased
They were not this way growing up.

What the heck happened!

Entitled, narcissistic, and fueled by peers that all the parents, mothers especially are awful. Sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

God forbid he accidently put too much air the tire. What an a$$hole. A grandparent shouldn't be power washing your house or hanging pictures. Do you own dam housework. They don't "owe" you that.

When FIL does things that he isn't asked to do, and butchers them, that's a problem. Did you miss the part where PP says FIL will do things unasked around the house?

Gpa was likely just trying to earn his keep and make himself useful so they don’t take him Outback and shoot him. He made a mistake on the tire, offer grace instead of criticism. This is a perfect example of walking on eggshells around millennials. Sometimes I will wash my kids dishes at their apartment because they have been really busy and stressed and have no dishwasher. I guess that makes me an a$$home too for trying to do something nice but I wasn’t asked.

That can be very nice. But it can also be annoying if you make a show about how you have to wash every dish immediately after every meal because it's disgusting to leave dirty dishes in the sink (while your kids are chasing their toddlers, figuring dishes can wait until they're asleep), or not getting out of the way for them to do what they need to do in their kitchen (e.g. pack lunch for kids) until every single dish from the last meal is clean.

-love, a Millennial who's been there, and never leaves dirty dishes overnight, bit sometimes has other things to do Right This Minute besides make sure the sink is clear

You just described why I hate my MIL coming over. She takes over the kitchen and I can't make my poor kid or myself a meal the whole time she is here. We literally have to sneak out to eat fast food. I'm sure she thinks she is helping, but she is constantly in my way and I can't do the things I need to do.

You sound ridiculous. Sneaking to get fast food? What are you 5?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The entitlement is astonishing. This is all about you and what you want, not what your children need or are asking for. And when they do ask for help with specific things, like the power washing, that's a problem too. I know my FIL will take on a task (asked or not) at our house and leave it worse than when he started (big hole in the wall hanging pictures, blew my son's bike tire trying to inflate it when it wasn't needed). So yeah, we say something.

Entitlement is a two way street. Once children are adults they should grow up and learn to relate to their parents like other adults not as perpetual children who are always on the taking end of every interaction.

Amen to that!!

[Anonymous]

We are the "submit generation." We submitted to our elders, and now we are really submitting to our kids. One false move, something misunderstood or perceived, or really nothing, and we are tossed like old lettuce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This generation is EXTREMELY self absorbed, touchy and entitled, very little thing is a micoaggression or a T/trauma, everyone but them is a narcissist. They are like adolescents all the time with no tolerance for anyone but themselves, cross them and you are cut off. It’s therapy culture taken to a wacko extreme.

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