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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. These are great responses. Yes, we are boomers. We come from a place where you “always respect your elders”.  
We did all the things our millennial kids are doing. The burdens on our generation were different. In my situation we got zero, absolutely no support of any kind. When we had children our parents did not acknowledge them. We made every effort to enable our kids to have a relationship with grandparents. So, we did what most parents do. We gave our kids everything we did not have. That includes respecting their phase of life while giving their kids grandparents. Are we a PIA?  Probably. But we love them all deeply while we, again, respect their stage in life.
They are adults. When will they learn to respect our stage in life?  
In the end, we are all doing the best we can. But “kids today” (don’t go getting your knickers in a knot because that’s what you act like) need to step up. 
In the meantime I will look for signs of maturity and hold on to them. [/quote]

OK, OP, I cannot read the entire thread, and I think I got the answers to some of my questions here.  You see your kids as spoiled and immature.  They know that.  They are almost certainly neither, not that it matters, because they certainly don't want to spend time with judgmental parents who treat them that way.  You cannot change them.  The time for that  has passed.  Now you need to look closely at your interactions with them, and identify the places where things go wrong.  What do you say or do that gets a reaction you don't like?  You need to work on your own side - not change yourself, but change your actions and reactions, and only then will you be able to change your relationship with them and get what you want out of it.  But that won't happen as long as you keep looking for the problem in them, and not in the way you interact with them. Good luck.[/quote]

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