I asked out a 19/20 year old girl today who I thought was a grown adult woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only woman who was hit on by old men as a teen? You learn to deal with it and she handled it perfectly. So did OP for that matter as he backed off immediately.
To me, this isn’t gross really, just part of mistakes when you deal with people and both parties just move on.

He didn’t know her age and when he found out he felt bad. NBD.

Teen girls have more important life skills than learning to handle the creepers on their block. Hopefully she’s alerted her parents to the OP so they can let parents of the neighborhood 13-19 crowd know to avoid him, since OP apparently has a full ten year blind spot in ages.

Actually, that’s a very important life skill.

For an adult woman sure. A 19 y/o hopefully reports this to a trusted adult and gives it no additional head space. Obviously OP has trouble determining the ages of the girls and women he’s sexualizing and so the people who need to be concerned about him are parents, not teenagers (other than perhaps a warning to them from their parents to alert them if he approaches them).

Welcome to the world. You can’t keep your kid in a cocoon forever. My DD just came up from her freshman year at Penn & had some frightening encounters with random people. Was chased three times, once in a train station & two other times by mentally ill homeless men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only woman who was hit on by old men as a teen? You learn to deal with it and she handled it perfectly. So did OP for that matter as he backed off immediately.
To me, this isn’t gross really, just part of mistakes when you deal with people and both parties just move on.

He didn’t know her age and when he found out he felt bad. NBD.

Teen girls have more important life skills than learning to handle the creepers on their block. Hopefully she’s alerted her parents to the OP so they can let parents of the neighborhood 13-19 crowd know to avoid him, since OP apparently has a full ten year blind spot in ages.

Actually, that’s a very important life skill.

For an adult woman sure. A 19 y/o hopefully reports this to a trusted adult and gives it no additional head space. Obviously OP has trouble determining the ages of the girls and women he’s sexualizing and so the people who need to be concerned about him are parents, not teenagers (other than perhaps a warning to them from their parents to alert them if he approaches them).

Welcome to the world. You can’t keep your kid in a cocoon forever. My DD just came up from her freshman year at Penn & had some frightening encounters with random people. Was chased three times, once in a train station & two other times by mentally ill homeless men.

great, so OP should feel proud that he trained her on how to deal with creepy men? he should definitely go around hitting on young women exercising so he can help them develop their skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only woman who was hit on by old men as a teen? You learn to deal with it and she handled it perfectly. So did OP for that matter as he backed off immediately.
To me, this isn’t gross really, just part of mistakes when you deal with people and both parties just move on.

He didn’t know her age and when he found out he felt bad. NBD.

Teen girls have more important life skills than learning to handle the creepers on their block. Hopefully she’s alerted her parents to the OP so they can let parents of the neighborhood 13-19 crowd know to avoid him, since OP apparently has a full ten year blind spot in ages.

Actually, that’s a very important life skill.

For an adult woman sure. A 19 y/o hopefully reports this to a trusted adult and gives it no additional head space. Obviously OP has trouble determining the ages of the girls and women he’s sexualizing and so the people who need to be concerned about him are parents, not teenagers (other than perhaps a warning to them from their parents to alert them if he approaches them).

Welcome to the world. You can’t keep your kid in a cocoon forever. My DD just came up from her freshman year at Penn & had some frightening encounters with random people. Was chased three times, once in a train station & two other times by mentally ill homeless men.

great, so OP should feel proud that he trained her on how to deal with creepy men? he should definitely go around hitting on young women exercising so he can help them develop their skills.

You seem to have a problem distinguishing between what you personally don't want and what is morally reprehensible or dangerous. You should work on that. OP did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

OP feels like a creep. I agree with him too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only woman who was hit on by old men as a teen? You learn to deal with it and she handled it perfectly. So did OP for that matter as he backed off immediately.
To me, this isn’t gross really, just part of mistakes when you deal with people and both parties just move on.

He didn’t know her age and when he found out he felt bad. NBD.

Teen girls have more important life skills than learning to handle the creepers on their block. Hopefully she’s alerted her parents to the OP so they can let parents of the neighborhood 13-19 crowd know to avoid him, since OP apparently has a full ten year blind spot in ages.

Actually, that’s a very important life skill.

For an adult woman sure. A 19 y/o hopefully reports this to a trusted adult and gives it no additional head space. Obviously OP has trouble determining the ages of the girls and women he’s sexualizing and so the people who need to be concerned about him are parents, not teenagers (other than perhaps a warning to them from their parents to alert them if he approaches them).

Welcome to the world. You can’t keep your kid in a cocoon forever. My DD just came up from her freshman year at Penn & had some frightening encounters with random people. Was chased three times, once in a train station & two other times by mentally ill homeless men.

great, so OP should feel proud that he trained her on how to deal with creepy men? he should definitely go around hitting on young women exercising so he can help them develop their skills.

You seem to have a problem distinguishing between what you personally don't want and what is morally reprehensible or dangerous. You should work on that. OP did nothing wrong.

“Morally Reprehensible” maybe not. Super creepy? Yes.
Most women don’t want to be hit on while they exercise— creepy.
Most women don’t want a man who has been “watching them for months” posting descriptions about their bodies clothes and fitness on the internet— creepy.

If you personally enjoy that consider that your fetishes or desire for male attention are not universal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

[Anonymous]

People can be so judgy!
OP, you made a mistake and corrected yourself.
It's OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

Well, he is a 40 yr old divorced man. Even if the woman looked like a 25 yr old, he is super creepy for hitting on her while she is walking, and hitting on her because of the age difference.

He claims he could not see her face. That is worse. He is hitting on her based on her body? The body of a young woman wearing exercise clothes? He is just so gross!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

OP feels like a creep. I agree with him too.

OP is hoping someone gives him permission to ask her out again
OP, NO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People can be so judgy!
OP, you made a mistake and corrected yourself.
It's OK.

Agreed. Full force DCUMad harpies in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

OP feels like a creep. I agree with him too.

OP is hoping someone gives him permission to ask her out again
OP, NO!

Negative! OP, you go tapp dat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP on this one. DD is 14 and can easily pass for 19 or 20.

I wouldn’t sweat this at all.

Well, he is a 40 yr old divorced man. Even if the woman looked like a 25 yr old, he is super creepy for hitting on her while she is walking, and hitting on her because of the age difference.

He claims he could not see her face. That is worse. He is hitting on her based on her body? The body of a young woman wearing exercise clothes? He is just so gross!

That’s called attraction. Call the police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please do not approach women when they are out jogging and walking! I'm a mom and have had this happen and it sucks. Trust me when I say that she was literally out walking and jogging to get a work out. No other reason at all. If you want to meet women, go to target rich environments meant for that.

This is a good point, to be honest. It's exhausting to feel like every activity, no matter how much one is doing it for themselves, is interpreted as an invitation to be asked out. Sometimes we just want to go for a run, even if we do it while cute.

Another woman who has to agree with this. Not only for the just-out-for-a-jog aspect but also the complete stranger part. It just gives me weird feelings like that a young woman can't simply exist in this world without being on display as a piece of meat for a man to feel is his for the choosing. Yes, it sounds like OP was perfectly respectable in his interaction, but the whole thing is creepy and not because of the age difference.

Juxtapose this with the threads by single women asking why they cannot find anyone.

You over exaggerate. You are not being asked out on every activity. It's just not happening. If OP doesn't try his hand, how else does he (or anyone else for that matter) meet people? We complain about online dating but then throw stones at those that try to meet in person.

There's nothing wrong with what you did, OP. You figured her age and backed off. Good for you.