How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

You’re his “closest friend?” What does his wife think of that?

He's not married!
Barely dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

But you have no idea whether you’re the only one or not.

I do lol!
If he goes on a date (rarely) he tells me about it. Nothing to hide cause we are friends, sometimes get cuddly.

Girl, he be lyin to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

But you have no idea whether you’re the only one or not.

I do lol!
If he goes on a date (rarely) he tells me about it. Nothing to hide cause we are friends, sometimes get cuddly.

Girl, he be lyin to you

Haha well you don't know him or understand the dynamic. Not everybody is the same. He's the most honest person I know actually - besides he has no reason to hide anything, he's not trying to "get me".
He owes me no loyalty.

[Anonymous]

Try to picture him ten years older and thirty pounds heavier. Imagine him leaving his dirty laundry all over the floor, not helping with the kids or the dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard because it’s a complicated situation. He’s ten years older, we are both married. He’s both my pastor and my boss, since I work at the church. It’s been simmering for over a decade and the feelings are still there. I feel like it’s almost “the one who got away” territory. If we had met before spouses I’m 100% certain we would have dated or more.

I honestly think the only reason we can work together is our shared moral values at this point. If either of us made a move then we wouldn’t be the person that the crush was based upon.

The whole situation makes me feel awful. I’m deeply in love with my DH but I can’t help the crush. Wish I could!

Is this crush mutual? Has either of you ever acknowledged it?

There’s a tension between us. I think we both sense it and have to be very careful with our interactions when we find ourselves alone, which can sometimes be unavoidable. Even if you try to maintain distance and observe all proprieties, that feeling is unmistakable.

Have you ever just had an instant reaction to someone? Maybe it’s their pheromones or something, but you you can just tell you are compatible. It’s very magnetic and hard to resist, even if you aren’t looking for anything. Even if you are deliberately not flirting or looking to give an impression.

This sounds like a really unhealthy situation. I would look for another job.

[Anonymous]

I have never seen my crush flirt with other women at office. We are definitely drawn to each other and can feel the chemistry when we are together. We both try to pull away and keep our distance at times, but we eventually end up connecting again.

[Anonymous]

Their farts still smell of farts.

[Anonymous]

I have a crush with a single man. I’m his client. So I just keep on reminding myself that my whole professional reputation will be ruined if I acted on the crush. I remind myself all the time since he earns money from my business decisions (on behalf of my company), his main interests in interacting with me is to charm me and win my trust. Thank god we live in different counties so it’s easier to not act on it. But god the connection was strong!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their farts still smell of farts.

Really sexy ones though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their farts still smell of farts.

Really sexy ones though

Yeah, big different when you look at the source of that fart and it's an overweight dude who hasn't properly bedded you in years versus a chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, big different when you look at the source of that fart and it's an overweight dude who hasn't properly bedded you in years versus a chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover.

Sweetie, if he is "chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover" he is hunting younger, prettier prey. And OP's DH is very likely thinking about someone other than his ball and chain 99% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yeah, big different when you look at the source of that fart and it's an overweight dude who hasn't properly bedded you in years versus a chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover.

Sweetie, if he is "chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover" he is hunting younger, prettier prey. And OP's DH is very likely thinking about someone other than his ball and chain 99% of the time.

You wrong lol

[Anonymous]

Sweetie, if he is "chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover" he is hunting younger, prettier prey. And OP's DH is very likely thinking about someone other than his ball and chain 99% of the time.

You wrong lol

Maybe I am wrong.

Maybe he is looking for someone who can post something more intelligent than "You (sic) wrong. lol"

[Anonymous]

I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

[Anonymous]

Let me know if you find out a permanent fix. I usually avoid the person for a while and suppress it but it comes back when I have to see them frequently. I try to remind myself a crush is just surface level and I’d probably get tired of his shit eventually.