How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

PP. I’m reluctant to weigh in but apparently I touched a nerve. I had meant that last part as a tongue-in-cheek statement but it seems to have been taken seriously. I’ve seen from the posters that there must be a lot of “good boys” who aren’t! I do often learn things from DCUM. I think I’m in the respectful and responsible camp, not the manipulative camp. And I’m not trying to get laid or mistreat women, truly. Most of my friends are women, as I don’t bond well with men, and they tell me I’m trustworthy and non-threatening but not crush-worthy.

This is your problem, Good Boy. We want nice and respectful, but not an effeminate male who can’t even hang out with other dudes. That’s not a turn on. We still need that masculine energy and you seem to bring none of it. You need to work on that.

You’re completely right and I know it, but have no idea how to change myself. Maybe I need a spin-off thread.

[Anonymous]

Just can't be bothered with you tbh.
You know nothing
You are the jealous type I can tell

Don't care to elaborate cause you're boring

No, you cannot elaborate because you are stupid.

Did you go to college? If so, get your parents' money back. Your writing shows how little you learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

PP. I’m reluctant to weigh in but apparently I touched a nerve. I had meant that last part as a tongue-in-cheek statement but it seems to have been taken seriously. I’ve seen from the posters that there must be a lot of “good boys” who aren’t! I do often learn things from DCUM. I think I’m in the respectful and responsible camp, not the manipulative camp. And I’m not trying to get laid or mistreat women, truly. Most of my friends are women, as I don’t bond well with men, and they tell me I’m trustworthy and non-threatening but not crush-worthy.

Oh my word, you really have this down don’t you? As soon as you are called on your crummy comment, you say - it was just a joke!! I am skeptical that you are friends with women either. If you were, you have known that jokes about mistreating women who dont crush on you are gross and scary.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, OP, how do you feel now? I had a bad crush over a colleague a couple weeks ago. Now I'm feeling better but still want to talk to him about a lot of things.

[Anonymous]

I have one from five years ago so good luck.

[Anonymous]

These 5 and 10 year long massive crush people...becoming like them is a great fear of mine.

[Anonymous]

I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

[Anonymous]

I google his wife.

She looks tired.

I assume living with him is no picnic.

I momentarily feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Girl, same! Same same same. I look hotter than I have for 10 years. I am much more deliberate in my marriage. But I’m not all there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Yes! Same!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Girl, same! Same same same. I look hotter than I have for 10 years. I am much more deliberate in my marriage. But I’m not all there.

OMG! Will I become like that? How’s your interaction with the crush like? Does he like you back too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Girl, same! Same same same. I look hotter than I have for 10 years. I am much more deliberate in my marriage. But I’m not all there.

OMG! Will I become like that? How’s your interaction with the crush like? Does he like you back too?

He wanted to sleep with me; I declined. We no longer speak. We’re both married with children and I think about what would have happened if I said yes all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Girl, same! Same same same. I look hotter than I have for 10 years. I am much more deliberate in my marriage. But I’m not all there.

OMG! Will I become like that? How’s your interaction with the crush like? Does he like you back too?

He wanted to sleep with me; I declined. We no longer speak. We’re both married with children and I think about what would have happened if I said yes all the time.

But you still like him? Or did his request to sleep with you ruined his image for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Wow. Exactly the same on all three. My crush actually has gained weight and isn't looking so great, and that helps. So so so glad we never crossed the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still have not. And it's been over 2 years now. I am trying to look at the positives:
- I lost weight and I exercise more
- I bought new clothes
- DH and I actually have more sex now

Girl, same! Same same same. I look hotter than I have for 10 years. I am much more deliberate in my marriage. But I’m not all there.

OMG! Will I become like that? How’s your interaction with the crush like? Does he like you back too?

Mine does. I look hot too (and I'm a lot older than him), we keeping it at friend level.