How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really want to get over it, you have to shift your attention every time you start thinking about him in a crush-y kind of way. Kind of like meditation where you keep returning your focus when you see you have been distracted.

That said, it’s hard because I suspect your mind kind of enjoys the thoughts.

Say more about this. Like, shift your attention to some completely unrelated like how you need to do the dishes? Or something else.

DP. My therapist says that one of the few things in life that you can truly control are your thoughts. You have to redirect your thoughts to a mantra or something else.

Did a mantra work for you? Nothing seems to work.

[Anonymous]

For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

My crush doesn’t flirt with other women at the office, at least not when I am around. Sometimes he pulls away and our interactions are very business like, but that only last a couple of days and he reverts back to a closer and more intimate relationship. I wonder if he is struggling with the same feelings I am.


PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

[Anonymous]

DP

Mine isn't a work thing either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP

Mine isn't a work thing either.

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

But you have no idea whether you’re the only one or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

You’re his “closest friend?” What does his wife think of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, having him as a good friend helps because I still get to hang out with him and get his attention (flirting) but at the same time I can see how it is prolonging the feelings. I can't imagine cutting him off though that would just be so sad (I hope time will curb those feelings so that I feel friendship only). I am prepared for the day he may get a girlfriend.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

I posted a bit up thread that the way I got over my crush was by witnessing him flirt really obviously with another woman at an event we were all at. For so long I thought the is guy and I had something unspoken - the glances, the stares, etc. And perhaps we did, but he obviously has this with many other women as well. I know he travels a lot for work, so it just hit me like a ton of bricks that he is probably out cheating on his wife all the time. Not that I’m blameless here for crushing on a married man. But I really thought I was special. I’m not.

This is what another poster touched upon earlier in the thread…these cute charming guys who are successful and make women they work with feel special…they usually do it to multiple women because it benefits them to have adoring female employees/colleagues/clients and move on to the next one quickly if you leave.

PP here and this wasn’t a work thing, he’s someone I know from my social group. I can imagine it’s 10x worse with women he’s around for work out in business thousands of miles away from home.

Anyway, I had always read on this thread, no you’re not special, he does this with every woman! And I really thought all that was BS, that posters just didn’t know what this guy and I had, it was a real connection. And then I saw him do it with another woman right in front of me. It really snapped me back to reality and I’m avoiding this guy like the plague now, for many reasons. So the moral of the story is, if everyone is saying something, believe the collective experience.

Meant to post my response here

Well different for everyone I suppose. I am definitely special to him, I'm his closest friend.
We have wonderful times together.

But you have no idea whether you’re the only one or not.

I do lol!
If he goes on a date (rarely) he tells me about it. Nothing to hide cause we are friends, sometimes get cuddly.