How do you get over a crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Well, that’s pretty messed up and could explain a lot for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sweetie, if he is "chiseled adonis with all the energy of a new lover" he is hunting younger, prettier prey. And OP's DH is very likely thinking about someone other than his ball and chain 99% of the time.

You wrong lol

Maybe I am wrong.

Maybe he is looking for someone who can post something more intelligent than "You (sic) wrong. lol"

Just can't be bothered with you tbh.
You know nothing
You are the jealous type I can tell

Don't care to elaborate cause you're boring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

[Anonymous]

agree with PP. one of my biggest crushes was a good guy--he has been plenty naughty, a bad boy in my dreams many times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

My crush is a “good boy” nerdy type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

In my experience, the seemingly “good boys” were worse than the “bad” ones. You have just validated this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

In my experience, the seemingly “good boys” were worse than the “bad” ones. You have just validated this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

In my experience, the seemingly “good boys” were worse than the “bad” ones. You have just validated this.

+1

Anyone who wrote what that guy did isn’t actually a “good boy.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

100% this is what is going on behind those attitudes. As a woman who has had to carefully handle men’s feelings her whole life, guys like PP are exhausting and not nice people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

I married This good boy and I'm still with him! Till death. Also, ppl crush on him. I've seen the interns' looks. He can't be trusted with the young. He'll fall hard for their adoration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

PP. I’m reluctant to weigh in but apparently I touched a nerve. I had meant that last part as a tongue-in-cheek statement but it seems to have been taken seriously. I’ve seen from the posters that there must be a lot of “good boys” who aren’t! I do often learn things from DCUM. I think I’m in the respectful and responsible camp, not the manipulative camp. And I’m not trying to get laid or mistreat women, truly. Most of my friends are women, as I don’t bond well with men, and they tell me I’m trustworthy and non-threatening but not crush-worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

PP. I’m reluctant to weigh in but apparently I touched a nerve. I had meant that last part as a tongue-in-cheek statement but it seems to have been taken seriously. I’ve seen from the posters that there must be a lot of “good boys” who aren’t! I do often learn things from DCUM. I think I’m in the respectful and responsible camp, not the manipulative camp. And I’m not trying to get laid or mistreat women, truly. Most of my friends are women, as I don’t bond well with men, and they tell me I’m trustworthy and non-threatening but not crush-worthy.

A lot of “good boys” also just want to get laid but can’t handle rejection and when it happens, turn into misogynist incel pickup artist quoters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had a crush on this guy with my job at another org for 2 years now. I keep waiting for it to go away but it doesn't. I'm sure it's not reciprocated either; doesn't matter. He reminds me of the messed up 'bad boys' I dated in my younger years. The kind that are bad for you but you like it for some sick reason.

As a “good boy” it’s depressing how almost nobody crushes on us. It’s enough to make you want to mistreat women, but you can’t.

Lots of women are into "good boys," if by that you mean respectful, responsible, and thoughtful. My experience (as a guy) is that lots of guys who think they are "good boys" are manipulative weaklings who want to use said weakness to manipulate women into feeling bad rejecting them. I am guessing most women don't like that. Maybe that's your problem. I don't think mistreating women is going to help you get laid.

PP. I’m reluctant to weigh in but apparently I touched a nerve. I had meant that last part as a tongue-in-cheek statement but it seems to have been taken seriously. I’ve seen from the posters that there must be a lot of “good boys” who aren’t! I do often learn things from DCUM. I think I’m in the respectful and responsible camp, not the manipulative camp. And I’m not trying to get laid or mistreat women, truly. Most of my friends are women, as I don’t bond well with men, and they tell me I’m trustworthy and non-threatening but not crush-worthy.

This is your problem, Good Boy. We want nice and respectful, but not an effeminate male who can’t even hang out with other dudes. That’s not a turn on. We still need that masculine energy and you seem to bring none of it. You need to work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so hard because it’s a complicated situation. He’s ten years older, we are both married. He’s both my pastor and my boss, since I work at the church. It’s been simmering for over a decade and the feelings are still there. I feel like it’s almost “the one who got away” territory. If we had met before spouses I’m 100% certain we would have dated or more.

I honestly think the only reason we can work together is our shared moral values at this point. If either of us made a move then we wouldn’t be the person that the crush was based upon.

The whole situation makes me feel awful. I’m deeply in love with my DH but I can’t help the crush. Wish I could!

Is this crush mutual? Has either of you ever acknowledged it?

There’s a tension between us. I think we both sense it and have to be very careful with our interactions when we find ourselves alone, which can sometimes be unavoidable. Even if you try to maintain distance and observe all proprieties, that feeling is unmistakable.

Have you ever just had an instant reaction to someone? Maybe it’s their pheromones or something, but you you can just tell you are compatible. It’s very magnetic and hard to resist, even if you aren’t looking for anything. Even if you are deliberately not flirting or looking to give an impression.

I’m PP with the crush on a close friend’s BF. I completely understand this point. It’s like this unspoken, weird energy between us. I am pretty sure he senses it too. The way he looks me in my eyes feels like he’s looking into my soul lol. He does it so often and honestly I don’t think he looks this way at others. I think he’d definitely act if he had the opportunity but I could never do it to my DH or my friend. But hey! I could be completely insane and making this mutual crush up in my head! 😂