Date has no online presence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of people with clearances who have no online presence.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?

Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho

A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”

And yet a woman was just murdered in Texas from a man she met from OL dating a week prior.

And that man had three red flags:

1. He was 18.
2. He was picking her up in his car for the first date.
3. He was taking her to his apartment for the first date.

I see some other clues here that might have kept someone safe...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you go for a second date ladies if the guy cannot be googled/no verifiable online presence? We exchanged numbers, I gave my actual one and I do have a pretty public presence online. His number gives nothing, neither does online name/location search. He did share the detail about his life, showed videos of his son and appeared a normal dmv guy.

But I am not comfortable going out for dinner with someone I don't really know. And it feels like we are on unequal footing from the beginning, me being transparent and him protecting privacy. If he thinks I am a nutcase, why offer dinner date?

I am not sure why he would think you”re a “nutcase.” I would go on a second date and ask some pointed questions. Any man worth knowing will understand women need to be cautious, tell him you did an internet search and came up empty, what’s the deal? Do you know where he works? Did he seem reluctant to share information on your first date?

Maybe he read this thread? I certainly think OP is a nutcase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you go for a second date ladies if the guy cannot be googled/no verifiable online presence? We exchanged numbers, I gave my actual one and I do have a pretty public presence online. His number gives nothing, neither does online name/location search. He did share the detail about his life, showed videos of his son and appeared a normal dmv guy.

But I am not comfortable going out for dinner with someone I don't really know. And it feels like we are on unequal footing from the beginning, me being transparent and him protecting privacy. If he thinks I am a nutcase, why offer dinner date?

I am not sure why he would think you”re a “nutcase.” I would go on a second date and ask some pointed questions. Any man worth knowing will understand women need to be cautious, tell him you did an internet search and came up empty, what’s the deal? Do you know where he works? Did he seem reluctant to share information on your first date?

Maybe he read this thread? I certainly think OP is a nutcase.

He probably didn’t if he texted back 24 hrs after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

When did this “burner phone” thing happen? How on earth could you know after one date that someone is using burner phone?

I’m starting to vote nutcase with the other PPs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

When did this “burner phone” thing happen? How on earth could you know after one date that someone is using burner phone?

I’m starting to vote nutcase with the other PPs.

OP here - I worked in hospitality industry and know how to check if someone uses their actual or a burner number. He used the burner 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

When did this “burner phone” thing happen? How on earth could you know after one date that someone is using burner phone?

I’m starting to vote nutcase with the other PPs.

OP here - I worked in hospitality industry and know how to check if someone uses their actual or a burner number. He used the burner 100%

Ok. Confirmed. Nutcase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

How many more blatantly obvious “clues” do you need before you realize he’s married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. I have been doing OLD for 10 years. I have yet to google a woman's name or phone number.

I didn't have Facebook until a few years ago, and I never use it. No LinkedIn until this past year. No Twitter, no SnapChat. None of my guy friends play around with social media, either.

This is a safety issue for women that guys don't really have to think about.

Men also have safety issues. There are plenty of crazy women loose in the DC area, and I'd rather deal with a man with a knife than a psycho woman with a law degree. Ask Johnny Depp whether a nutso woman can destroy your life.

Johnny Depp's life is destroyed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

How many more blatantly obvious “clues” do you need before you realize he’s married?

Honestly, it took me a week of online chatting and one real life coffee date, so not too long I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.

Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)

There's nothing much, OP, actually. Maybe the house we bought with our names, that's all. We do not have any social media accounts, Linked In, FB, Insta, Twitter, etc.

I feel like people have missed the point because they equate online presence with playing on social media apps and OP is talking about how if you are an adult and have bought a home or gotten married, divorced etc. there is a record of that online and this man has none of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have no online presence. We hate social media.

OP, I don't understand what your problem is.

Did you google your names? Even if you are not active on social media something should come up if you used a landline at some point, file tax returns, owned or rented property. Spouses names usually appear next to each other.

That is all unless you paid a service to erase everything (which I find suspicious, many guys with criminal history would do this)

There's nothing much, OP, actually. Maybe the house we bought with our names, that's all. We do not have any social media accounts, Linked In, FB, Insta, Twitter, etc.

I feel like people have missed the point because they equate online presence with playing on social media apps and OP is talking about how if you are an adult and have bought a home or gotten married, divorced etc. there is a record of that online and this man has none of that.

OP here: I am also not particular active on social media, but I have an education, switched places of employment, moved states and my name and addresses references pops up right away (along with the former spouse). How come he has no trace whatsoever? I bet there would be max 5 people with same full name in that neighborhood he claims he lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called

So this guy isn’t for you because he’s not pursuing you to the degree you prefer. This has nothing to do with him not having a linked in profile.

Him using a burner phone, somewhat unclear identity, super slow to texts does tell me he just wanted a dinner date for “variety”. Not really interested. So I don’t think it’s a match. Yes you are right

When did this “burner phone” thing happen? How on earth could you know after one date that someone is using burner phone?

I’m starting to vote nutcase with the other PPs.

OP here - I worked in hospitality industry and know how to check if someone uses their actual or a burner number. He used the burner 100%

Did he use a google voice number? I'm a guy and I use that for OLD until I decide she's worthy of knowing my actual cell number.