Date has no online presence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.

Well, you obviously feel that this information should be easily accessible to the public or that the man who is the subject of this thread should give it to you, and he hasn't. You have multiple men competing for your attention and giving you all of this information, including one who is more educated, better mannered, and has a well established career. Seems to me like you should just forget about this man who you find suspicious and focus on all the better, un-shady ones calling and texting you.

OP here. He offered to meet for dinner yesterday. I woke up and there was no response from him to my text suggesting to spend an afternoon together over this long weekend for drinks and learn more about each other. Seems like a player to me, not really interested in learning more beside meeting in intimate settings while using his burner number. I moved on to schedule the LinkedIn IT guy to spend my afternoon with. I do try my online dating experience to be maximum approaching meeting someone via friends or colleagues. It just gives me a sense of trust.

Thanks everyone.

I wouldn't say he sounds like a player.
I would say good luck with IT guy, but you'll find a reason to red flag him too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

Women don't realize they also have a competition for male attention and we will drop out if you act like a crazy stalker at any stage of the relationship.

And I think what some people don't understand about Facebook and LinkedIn is everyone in the world has access to that information once you put it online including the Russian and Chinese governments, every pervert in Pakistan, and every scammer in Nigeria.

Is it stalking now to ask for the person real phone number , address and place of work before moving to closer relationship? That’s exactly why I offered him just meet to talk more, learn about each other. Why would I meet for dinner with someone of uncertain identity ?

OP, I'm with you. I think it's shady he's acting like he has something to hide.

[Anonymous]

Why would I meet for dinner with someone of uncertain identity ?

Usually because you are hungry and you want to talk to another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.

Well, you obviously feel that this information should be easily accessible to the public or that the man who is the subject of this thread should give it to you, and he hasn't. You have multiple men competing for your attention and giving you all of this information, including one who is more educated, better mannered, and has a well established career. Seems to me like you should just forget about this man who you find suspicious and focus on all the better, un-shady ones calling and texting you.

OP here. He offered to meet for dinner yesterday. I woke up and there was no response from him to my text suggesting to spend an afternoon together over this long weekend for drinks and learn more about each other. Seems like a player to me, not really interested in learning more beside meeting in intimate settings while using his burner number. I moved on to schedule the LinkedIn IT guy to spend my afternoon with. I do try my online dating experience to be maximum approaching meeting someone via friends or colleagues. It just gives me a sense of trust.

Thanks everyone.

I wouldn't say he sounds like a player.
I would say good luck with IT guy, but you'll find a reason to red flag him too

He did respond that it’s a great idea to spend an afternoon, but it took him over 24 hrs to respond to my text. He’s probably not that interested and dating many women as he’s objectively tall and handsome. Regardless, I am not wasting my time on secretive guys who use burner phones, and take too long to come up with alternate date ideas. Life is too short to allow in it total strangers who only need one thing from me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you not ask to look at his drivers license on the first date?

Op here. I personally wouldn’t have issues showing my DL to anyone . But I also know it can be fake from my work experience. Online screening is best imho

A woman who asks to see my DL on my first date, ugh, I will say “no, and we’re done now, there will be no second date, enjoy the rest of your day.”

And yet a woman was just murdered in Texas from a man she met from OL dating a week prior.

(shrug) I'm not a murderer, so I don't care, but getting to see his DL on the first date wouldn't have prevented that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Why would that matter? I do video dates sometimes, this guy said he wasn't comfortable with a video date. He was more attractive in real life than on photos. Btw I had a video date with someone else just recently who really liked me. He immediately offered his actual phone number, job place, position, connect on LinkedIn. Name matched the number and location on google, he is an involved dad. I liked that openness, and although he's not as tall/hot, he is more educated, has well established career and better mannered.

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

This also comes from my experience in hospitality business; when you don't check an ID and someone's name doesn't match the phone number on google it ends up in 90% cases with credit card fraud.

I am not a stalker (god forbid never call men first, or text them first). But ultimate purpose of dating is to find a sexual and hopefully life partner, and I want that search to be transparent.

Well, you obviously feel that this information should be easily accessible to the public or that the man who is the subject of this thread should give it to you, and he hasn't. You have multiple men competing for your attention and giving you all of this information, including one who is more educated, better mannered, and has a well established career. Seems to me like you should just forget about this man who you find suspicious and focus on all the better, un-shady ones calling and texting you.

OP here. He offered to meet for dinner yesterday. I woke up and there was no response from him to my text suggesting to spend an afternoon together over this long weekend for drinks and learn more about each other. Seems like a player to me, not really interested in learning more beside meeting in intimate settings while using his burner number. I moved on to schedule the LinkedIn IT guy to spend my afternoon with. I do try my online dating experience to be maximum approaching meeting someone via friends or colleagues. It just gives me a sense of trust.

Thanks everyone.

I wouldn't say he sounds like a player.
I would say good luck with IT guy, but you'll find a reason to red flag him too

He did respond that it’s a great idea to spend an afternoon, but it took him over 24 hrs to respond to my text. He’s probably not that interested and dating many women as he’s objectively tall and handsome. Regardless, I am not wasting my time on secretive guys who use burner phones, and take too long to come up with alternate date ideas. Life is too short to allow in it total strangers who only need one thing from me

Hey OP, remember when you called yourself a nutcase in your OP? Maybe you should look into that more.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

I meant doesn’t reciprocate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you the same op as the video dates thread

Men don't realize they also have a competition for female attention and we will drop out if they try to install privacy locks on everything about them online. We live in modern world: it's not like I expect everyone to twit or Facebook but something should come up about a person when you google IMHO.

Women don't realize they also have a competition for male attention and we will drop out if you act like a crazy stalker at any stage of the relationship.

And I think what some people don't understand about Facebook and LinkedIn is everyone in the world has access to that information once you put it online including the Russian and Chinese governments, every pervert in Pakistan, and every scammer in Nigeria.

Is it stalking now to ask for the person real phone number , address and place of work before moving to closer relationship? That’s exactly why I offered him just meet to talk more, learn about each other. Why would I meet for dinner with someone of uncertain identity ?

OP, I'm with you. I think it's shady he's acting like he has something to hide.

+1 agree. Op, trust your gut!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

[Anonymous]

If he has a clearance, this may just be how he manages it OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you go for a second date ladies if the guy cannot be googled/no verifiable online presence? We exchanged numbers, I gave my actual one and I do have a pretty public presence online. His number gives nothing, neither does online name/location search. He did share the detail about his life, showed videos of his son and appeared a normal dmv guy.

But I am not comfortable going out for dinner with someone I don't really know. And it feels like we are on unequal footing from the beginning, me being transparent and him protecting privacy. If he thinks I am a nutcase, why offer dinner date?

"But I am not comfortable going out for dinner with someone I don't really know."

But seeing his fake online persona if he had one, would somehow make you feel like you know him better? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would actually prefer a man who doesn't waste his time on social media.

10000%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you single because you always find a ridiculous way to sabotage your relationships? Because that looks like what is happening here.

I was in a very long marriage for most of my adult life. Men in middle age behave very differently from what I observed 20 years ago. I am not going to be intimate with strangers, won’t pursue a man if he does reciprocate, or wait for 24 hrs for him to respond. Before he does, I will already have different plans. I am busy and have other interests. If my Saturday-Sunday date is not confirmed by Friday EOB, I make other plans.

The men you dated 20+ years ago had social media?

They were very active pursuing further dates, inviting me to hand out with their friends, shared business cards and /or where they studied. And yes some had online presence there was a website prior to LinkedIn I forgot how it was called