Red Flags- Children’s SO

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This^. A loving mom wouldn’t want to be the reason of tension, fight or stress between her son and his wife. Period.

Disagree. A loving mom absolutely will talk to her child when she sees that the spouse is not treating the child correctly or who is causing harm and trauma to the child. If that causes tension, fight or stress between the child and the spouse, then so be it.

You didn’t read the post. It specifically says abuse is the one exception. I assume by “harm and trauma” you mean abuse.

No, harm and trauma don't have to mean abuse. They mean that they aren't good for that child. Not everything has to be abusive. A good parent will say something if their child is not their happiest self.

And if the child is not “their happiest self” because their parent is fomenting tension in their marriage, is that really a good parent? I would suggest not.

Hmmm, we (meaning my husband or myself) or one of the kid's siblings would step in if we saw that the marriage wasn't functioning well or that the spouse was causing problems. So, yes, that is being a good parent and a good sibling. I don't care as much about the marriage as I care about my kid being happy. If the marriage isn't making my kid happy then I will certainly say something, presuming one of the kids or my husband doesn't beat me to it.

But that’s not the question. Do you then take responsibility for causing the pain to your child of tension in their marriage? Because if you break up your kids marriage, and they are divorced and miserable because of it, you will have caused them to be unhappy, as well as your grandchildren to be unhappy. So do you consider than unhappiness a reflection on your parenting? Because I have to tell you, people don’t tolerate meddling in laws the way they used to, and you could easily wind up cut off or your child divorced.

LOL. You really are taking this to heart. Don't worry, we won't ever be cut off. And I can pretty much guarantee you won't ever be joining our family. You have trouble and drama written all over you. Our kids know what to look for in a spouse, and you aren't it.

I can better than “pretty much” guarantee as I’m happily married to a man who would never allow his parents to interfere in our household. You will be cut off and here complaining about how you never did anything wrong before long.

Whatever, sweetie. The point is moot because none of my sons would ever be interested in you. So let's just stop. You will never be part of our family and we're all very grateful for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This^. A loving mom wouldn’t want to be the reason of tension, fight or stress between her son and his wife. Period.

Disagree. A loving mom absolutely will talk to her child when she sees that the spouse is not treating the child correctly or who is causing harm and trauma to the child. If that causes tension, fight or stress between the child and the spouse, then so be it.

You didn’t read the post. It specifically says abuse is the one exception. I assume by “harm and trauma” you mean abuse.

No, harm and trauma don't have to mean abuse. They mean that they aren't good for that child. Not everything has to be abusive. A good parent will say something if their child is not their happiest self.

And if the child is not “their happiest self” because their parent is fomenting tension in their marriage, is that really a good parent? I would suggest not.

Hmmm, we (meaning my husband or myself) or one of the kid's siblings would step in if we saw that the marriage wasn't functioning well or that the spouse was causing problems. So, yes, that is being a good parent and a good sibling. I don't care as much about the marriage as I care about my kid being happy. If the marriage isn't making my kid happy then I will certainly say something, presuming one of the kids or my husband doesn't beat me to it.

But that’s not the question. Do you then take responsibility for causing the pain to your child of tension in their marriage? Because if you break up your kids marriage, and they are divorced and miserable because of it, you will have caused them to be unhappy, as well as your grandchildren to be unhappy. So do you consider than unhappiness a reflection on your parenting? Because I have to tell you, people don’t tolerate meddling in laws the way they used to, and you could easily wind up cut off or your child divorced.

LOL. You really are taking this to heart. Don't worry, we won't ever be cut off. And I can pretty much guarantee you won't ever be joining our family. You have trouble and drama written all over you. Our kids know what to look for in a spouse, and you aren't it.

I can better than “pretty much” guarantee as I’m happily married to a man who would never allow his parents to interfere in our household. You will be cut off and here complaining about how you never did anything wrong before long.

Whatever, sweetie. The point is moot because none of my sons would ever be interested in you. So let's just stop. You will never be part of our family and we're all very grateful for that.

Don’t be too smug, human history is filled with men who were driven by their hearts and hormones, not brains and logic.