Middle School Halloween Drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a middle school teacher, I’ve seen the fallout of the forced invite. I really do not recommend it.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Moms of weird kids

Yeah, like, what a, like, weirdo, like, yeah, like. Totes jelly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Teaching kindness and inclusiveness is not social engineering. If you think about that long enough, you understand that.

+1

Begging for an invite isn’t being inclusive and if you think it’s your job to teach others because you’re so amazing, take a seat. It’s middle school petty drama. Guess what? Everyone gets a trophy mom, kids get excluded, life is tough, but having Mommy fly in with the helicopter isn’t helping your child. Maybe your savior complex, but that’s it. Butt out busybody.

Hon, can you try again in English? And without the bi---iness?

Says the gas lighter saying the pp is a mean mom. Hypocrite much? You just know this Mom was excluded as a teen and her daughter likely was as well. Find that axe sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a middle school teacher, I’ve seen the fallout of the forced invite. I really do not recommend it.

Forced invite is a bad idea but I would give girl B’s mom a heads up. Hopefully she can tell her daughter so she can save some face.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Moms of weird kids

Yeah, like, what a, like, weirdo, like, yeah, like. Totes jelly!

Thanks dude. Point proven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Teaching kindness and inclusiveness is not social engineering. If you think about that long enough, you understand that.

+1

Begging for an invite isn’t being inclusive and if you think it’s your job to teach others because you’re so amazing, take a seat. It’s middle school petty drama. Guess what? Everyone gets a trophy mom, kids get excluded, life is tough, but having Mommy fly in with the helicopter isn’t helping your child. Maybe your savior complex, but that’s it. Butt out busybody.

Hon, can you try again in English? And without the bi---iness?

Says the gas lighter saying the pp is a mean mom. Hypocrite much? You just know this Mom was excluded as a teen and her daughter likely was as well. Find that axe sweetie.

Lol, I thought the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Teaching kindness and inclusiveness is not social engineering. If you think about that long enough, you understand that.

+1

Begging for an invite isn’t being inclusive and if you think it’s your job to teach others because you’re so amazing, take a seat. It’s middle school petty drama. Guess what? Everyone gets a trophy mom, kids get excluded, life is tough, but having Mommy fly in with the helicopter isn’t helping your child. Maybe your savior complex, but that’s it. Butt out busybody.

Hon, can you try again in English? And without the bi---iness?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad I have only middle school boys. No drama at all! I get that this kind of thing can happen to boys, too, but... Can you picture dudes in their 40s and 50s writing five pages of comments about every possible scenario with this?

There are mean girls and sometimes that streak does not ever go away!

I have both and I think boys can be just as hurtful, their methods are just different.

The boys get involved in the drama too.

I mean sure, they can be hurtful. But 40 years later, are dads on message boards telling strangers "get off your high horse, get over it" etc on and on for pages about this type of an issue? There is just something about girl drama, it seems to be pervasive throughout life.

No, because men are taught to just swallow this kind of hurt and then they manifest their pain in other ways, like suicide, substance abuse, or other acts of violence upon themselves or others. My son was really really hurt in middle/early high school over some exclusionary drama like this, and we just never knew because he just took it all and shoved it down deep. We had no idea until he out of the blue told us one night that he was feeling suicidal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont have time to read all the responses.


We were in a similar situation with boys for a HOCO dinner and we asked our son to intervene snd get everybody together including the boy that was invited and then disinvited. Worked out in the end. Nobody’s feelings were hurt. It’s a short life. Teach kindness.

Because boys. Only with girls on this forum do you have middle-age moms chiming in like, "Don't have your daughter invite the girl left out, otherwise she might be branded a loser and ostracized, too!"

+1

Middle-aged mean girls.

No, just not middle aged meddling moms who want to socially engineer their daughter’s social lives.

Moms of weird kids

Yeah, like, what a, like, weirdo, like, yeah, like. Totes jelly!

Thanks dude. Point proven.

https://www.lexico.com/definition/sarcasm

[Anonymous]

I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

Agree with this. The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them.

+1

Wouldn't it be amazing if more parents taught their kids to be nice people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. This is MS. Time for adults to stop social engineering. A kid who gets a pity invite will be ignored the entire time and the host will explain to desired guests “My mom MADE me invite her.”

Agree with this. The girls will also (unfortunately) text behind girl B's back about it.

Completely disagree. This is how the vicious circle of bit--y girl behavior continues.

If you're that good of friends with A's mom, then you bring it up with a "hey I'm concerned" and talk on the down low about it. If someone informed ME of that, I'd use this as an opportunity to speak to my kid about not being an asshat. Anyone who defends this behavior is just that.

I'd also speak to my OWN child. So that she can chime in in B's defense ("I'm fine with her coming with us.")

Kids need to be taught to be nice people at this age. So teach them.

+1

Wouldn't it be amazing if more parents taught their kids to be nice people?

I know plenty of really nice parents with little shit kids. Sometimes, it’s just the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m reading through this thread and I can’t help but wonder if the one defensive poster who lashes out at anyone who disagrees with her is the OP. I’m wondering if perhaps her daughter was excluded from the party and there is no friend. I suspect she’s on here attempting to gain some perspective on how to handle this situation for her daughter. It’s seems a bit codependent. As if the Mom is internalizing this situation as if it’s happening to her instead of her daughter.

+1

Interesting.

I thought this as well.