Anti vax DH won't compromise principles and may quit Fed job, how should I prepare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

Troll move to Russia.

Oh wait you are already a citizen there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Principles? lol Your husband is mentally ill. You need to get him mental health help.

My brother is like this too, and he is mentally ill but wont do anything about it. Please dont place the burden if getting help on his wife. It’s not her fault and he cannot be compelled yo get health if he doesn't want to. Trust me, Ive tortured myself about my brother. It means my family wont visit him. I just have to come to terms with the fact he’s an adult and is responsible for his own actions (unless rightfully deemed mentally unfit).

Will you visit him once everyone in your household is vaxxed? If not, then you’ve made vaccinations as political as your brother, and are contributing to the anti-vax problem.

How does it contribute to the anti-vax problem to allow anti-vaxxers to do what they want? Honestly, they are like addicts that have to just live with the consequences of their actions.

Because you’re making it about politics and control rather than concern for a person’s well-being. You will never change someone’s mind otherwise. And you’ll make implementing other programs harder.

NP. What a load of nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I’m pregnant and not yet vaccinated and I want to get it soon…what happened to you? Did it end okay? Was the first shot okay?

They recommend getting the shot while in 3rd trimester so your baby is protected as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

I really really doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Principles? lol Your husband is mentally ill. You need to get him mental health help.

My brother is like this too, and he is mentally ill but wont do anything about it. Please dont place the burden if getting help on his wife. It’s not her fault and he cannot be compelled yo get health if he doesn't want to. Trust me, Ive tortured myself about my brother. It means my family wont visit him. I just have to come to terms with the fact he’s an adult and is responsible for his own actions (unless rightfully deemed mentally unfit).

Will you visit him once everyone in your household is vaxxed? If not, then you’ve made vaccinations as political as your brother, and are contributing to the anti-vax problem.

How does it contribute to the anti-vax problem to allow anti-vaxxers to do what they want? Honestly, they are like addicts that have to just live with the consequences of their actions.

Because you’re making it about politics and control rather than concern for a person’s well-being. You will never change someone’s mind otherwise. And you’ll make implementing other programs harder.

Antivaxxers are 100 percent about politics and control. You can talk to them all day about their "well-being;" e.g. we dont want you to get covid and potentially have long-term problems or die, the shots are safe, I can give you a ride, blah blah blah. They don't care, because it's LITERALLY all about politics and control.

I'm not the PP with the brother but have had to step back from some friends who are just not rational about this.

So cutting off the brother only reinforces that “vaxxers” are all about control and you play right into their hands. There is blood on both extremes, and they are working frim the same playbook. OP is in a very difficult situation because of the environment that’s been created by the extremes.

Nonsense. OP is in a difficult situation because her husband has gone off the deep end and seems to be prepared to throw away his job and possibly his marriage... for what? He won't even discuss it with her or make a plan. There is no "both sides" to this issue.

Believe what you want, but don’t come crying to me later.

Why should I cry? I'm vaccinated and so is my fed husband. Everybody keeps their job, we stay married, and nobody dies of covid. He is 100 percent remote anyway. Easy day!

You are made of the same cloth with your inability to see beyond your own feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all I can say is that I completely sympathize with you. I’m in the exact same boat with my DH, but he is Fed contractor who owns a fed consulting company with employees. I also told him if he gets covid I’m not taking him to the hospital. I think it is so selfish and ignorant not to get the vaccine, and especially with the fed mandate and employees who count on the company.

This is OP, and thanks for your message. I'm pretty surprised at the number of people who think this post is fake...I think a lot of people don't understand what it is like to be married to someone with this belief, and I figured that I'm not the only spouse of a Fed or a Fed contractor in this situation. I completely agree with you about the unbelievable level of self-absorption involved in choosing not to get vaccinated. However, my feelings don't really matter here because they are not changing anything for the better! But I think I'm not getting more helpful advice in this thread because readers that have experience that could be helpful may not be bothering to respond to a post they assume is a troll. I can and will consult an attorney for legal advice, but I was hoping for something more practical. Anyway, I appreciate your sympathy.

OP unfortunately there is no practical answer to mental illness. Your husband is part of a cult.

You have two options divorce which I would do in a heart beat because no way my kids live under the same roof with that garbage.
Or two you stay and don’t say another word and hope he eventually vaccinates.

He will lose his job and there is no lawsuit that will change that fact. There is no court in the land that will grant an extension or exception. This is a FACT

[Anonymous]

If your husband wants to be a maverick and go his own way, despite the science and numbers, then he should absolutely quit suckling off the government teat and make his own way in the world.

Otherwise, I'm not sure the guy is mentally ill, but he is certainly an idiot. Even if you think COVID is no big deal, just based on pure numbers, it is far, far safer to get the vaccine and/or get tested than it is to get COVID. And that is if you only want to look at it selfishly. There are obviously public health considerations that also strongly favor getting the vaccine.

I would seriously be concerned about being tethered to such a fool for the rest of my life, regardless of whether he finally caves and gets the vaccine so that he can keep being supported by the government he seems to distrust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

I'm not a Fed, but I am a contractor. We will also be required to be vaccinated.

I would start preparing to leave now OP. Consult a lawyer, figure out what housing you can afford, and start making plans. If this is a hill he is going to die on, he will be unemployed soon. He will also contract Covid soon.

I wonder if it would be eye opening for him to do some family/financial planning with him about the cost of quitting - what benefits will you/he lose - health insurance, disability, sick leave, pension and contribution, vacation days, etc. How much will it cost to pay for these when he quits? What would the impact be if he gets sick - like what is the best health insurance pal. and what deductibles and coinsurance and OOP has to be paid? If he gets fired for not taking the vaccine will that adversely affect his ability to get employed elsewhere? Where can he work that isn’t (eventualy) going to require a vaccine?

OP here -- I agree with this approach for a rational person, but as DH truly believes that the vaccines are poison and part of some larger globalist conspiracy, unfortunately I'm not sure if this pragmatic information will make a difference.

I'm meeting with an attorney tomorrow to see about my chances of getting sole legal custody (in MD) because I want to have full control over the health care decisions for the kids. DH presents really well -- as in good looking, articulate, does not appear mentally ill -- and has a history of charming therapists etc. so I'm obviously concerned with how a judge would weigh my stated concerns vs. what they see in DH. If 50/50 legal custody would mean that we both have to agree on medical decisions for the kids, this would make my life more rather than less difficult and I'm not sure divorce would be worth it emotionally or financially -- considering that we would have to go to trial if he contests on custody, right? So big $$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

Troll move to Russia.

Oh wait you are already a citizen there.

We could easily move to Russia as we have family there who would be thrilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take out extra life insurance on him, in addition to consulting a lawyer. Maybe ask him about his plans? Has he started applying for non fed jobs already?

It's probable kids will eventually bring Covid home from school and he will be much more susceptible than if he was vaccinated.

I'm not a Fed, but I am a contractor. We will also be required to be vaccinated.

I would start preparing to leave now OP. Consult a lawyer, figure out what housing you can afford, and start making plans. If this is a hill he is going to die on, he will be unemployed soon. He will also contract Covid soon.

I wonder if it would be eye opening for him to do some family/financial planning with him about the cost of quitting - what benefits will you/he lose - health insurance, disability, sick leave, pension and contribution, vacation days, etc. How much will it cost to pay for these when he quits? What would the impact be if he gets sick - like what is the best health insurance pal. and what deductibles and coinsurance and OOP has to be paid? If he gets fired for not taking the vaccine will that adversely affect his ability to get employed elsewhere? Where can he work that isn’t (eventualy) going to require a vaccine?

OP here -- I agree with this approach for a rational person, but as DH truly believes that the vaccines are poison and part of some larger globalist conspiracy, unfortunately I'm not sure if this pragmatic information will make a difference.

I'm meeting with an attorney tomorrow to see about my chances of getting sole legal custody (in MD) because I want to have full control over the health care decisions for the kids. DH presents really well -- as in good looking, articulate, does not appear mentally ill -- and has a history of charming therapists etc. so I'm obviously concerned with how a judge would weigh my stated concerns vs. what they see in DH. If 50/50 legal custody would mean that we both have to agree on medical decisions for the kids, this would make my life more rather than less difficult and I'm not sure divorce would be worth it emotionally or financially -- considering that we would have to go to trial if he contests on custody, right? So big $$$.

You aren't going to get sole custody except if you can prove abuse or neglect and you cannot prove that. They aren't going to take a parents rights away over vaccine status. Do him a favor, get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all I can say is that I completely sympathize with you. I’m in the exact same boat with my DH, but he is Fed contractor who owns a fed consulting company with employees. I also told him if he gets covid I’m not taking him to the hospital. I think it is so selfish and ignorant not to get the vaccine, and especially with the fed mandate and employees who count on the company.

This is OP, and thanks for your message. I'm pretty surprised at the number of people who think this post is fake...I think a lot of people don't understand what it is like to be married to someone with this belief, and I figured that I'm not the only spouse of a Fed or a Fed contractor in this situation. I completely agree with you about the unbelievable level of self-absorption involved in choosing not to get vaccinated. However, my feelings don't really matter here because they are not changing anything for the better! But I think I'm not getting more helpful advice in this thread because readers that have experience that could be helpful may not be bothering to respond to a post they assume is a troll. I can and will consult an attorney for legal advice, but I was hoping for something more practical. Anyway, I appreciate your sympathy.

OP unfortunately there is no practical answer to mental illness. Your husband is part of a cult.

You have two options divorce which I would do in a heart beat because no way my kids live under the same roof with that garbage.
Or two you stay and don’t say another word and hope he eventually vaccinates.

He will lose his job and there is no lawsuit that will change that fact. There is no court in the land that will grant an extension or exception. This is a FACT

First off, this is probably fake. Second, OP is using any excuse to divorce. He can easily get another job. Not being vaccinated is not a mental illness. If he loses his job, she could have to pay him child support and alimony even if she has full custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all I can say is that I completely sympathize with you. I’m in the exact same boat with my DH, but he is Fed contractor who owns a fed consulting company with employees. I also told him if he gets covid I’m not taking him to the hospital. I think it is so selfish and ignorant not to get the vaccine, and especially with the fed mandate and employees who count on the company.

This is OP, and thanks for your message. I'm pretty surprised at the number of people who think this post is fake...I think a lot of people don't understand what it is like to be married to someone with this belief, and I figured that I'm not the only spouse of a Fed or a Fed contractor in this situation. I completely agree with you about the unbelievable level of self-absorption involved in choosing not to get vaccinated. However, my feelings don't really matter here because they are not changing anything for the better! But I think I'm not getting more helpful advice in this thread because readers that have experience that could be helpful may not be bothering to respond to a post they assume is a troll. I can and will consult an attorney for legal advice, but I was hoping for something more practical. Anyway, I appreciate your sympathy.

OP unfortunately there is no practical answer to mental illness. Your husband is part of a cult.

You have two options divorce which I would do in a heart beat because no way my kids live under the same roof with that garbage.
Or two you stay and don’t say another word and hope he eventually vaccinates.

He will lose his job and there is no lawsuit that will change that fact. There is no court in the land that will grant an extension or exception. This is a FACT

First off, this is probably fake. Second, OP is using any excuse to divorce. He can easily get another job. Not being vaccinated is not a mental illness. If he loses his job, she could have to pay him child support and alimony even if she has full custody.

Losing your cush government job over conspiracy theories and refusing to discuss it with your spouse absolutely sounds like mental illness to me. Your husband/wife must be REALLY understanding if they're cool with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, all I can say is that I completely sympathize with you. I’m in the exact same boat with my DH, but he is Fed contractor who owns a fed consulting company with employees. I also told him if he gets covid I’m not taking him to the hospital. I think it is so selfish and ignorant not to get the vaccine, and especially with the fed mandate and employees who count on the company.

This is OP, and thanks for your message. I'm pretty surprised at the number of people who think this post is fake...I think a lot of people don't understand what it is like to be married to someone with this belief, and I figured that I'm not the only spouse of a Fed or a Fed contractor in this situation. I completely agree with you about the unbelievable level of self-absorption involved in choosing not to get vaccinated. However, my feelings don't really matter here because they are not changing anything for the better! But I think I'm not getting more helpful advice in this thread because readers that have experience that could be helpful may not be bothering to respond to a post they assume is a troll. I can and will consult an attorney for legal advice, but I was hoping for something more practical. Anyway, I appreciate your sympathy.

OP unfortunately there is no practical answer to mental illness. Your husband is part of a cult.

You have two options divorce which I would do in a heart beat because no way my kids live under the same roof with that garbage.
Or two you stay and don’t say another word and hope he eventually vaccinates.

He will lose his job and there is no lawsuit that will change that fact. There is no court in the land that will grant an extension or exception. This is a FACT

First off, this is probably fake. Second, OP is using any excuse to divorce. He can easily get another job. Not being vaccinated is not a mental illness. If he loses his job, she could have to pay him child support and alimony even if she has full custody.

That has been proven demonstrably false. Judge also isn’t going to look at someone voluntarily becoming unemployed because the interwebs told him to as in the best interest of the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Well, you sound really stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably fully vaccinated beyond the covid vaccine and its his choice. If you want to divorce, go for it. You sound really difficult. Just file for divorce, agree to 50/50 custody, move out and find housing for yourself and be done with it. If you threaten divorce, be prepared to follow through. If my spouse filed, there would be no turning back.

Your spouse should file.

My spouse had to take care of everything for three months after I got sick with the second vaccine shot after he pushed me into taking it. He doesn't want to do everything again and values our marriage. If he wants a divorce, he can have one.

This is a lie.

Of course it is.

The only person who believes her is the antivax pregnant lunatic, who will undoubtedly pick up covid in the hospital when she goes to deliver.