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I recently learned a guy I was casually seeing is also seeing 4 other women of all ages. Younger and older than him. 2 of whom he’s on relationships with. They don’t know of these other women.
I knew we casual, but shocked it was that many. What do men get out of this? Isn’t that hard to keep up? Harder than a relationship. |
S*x, lol. |
I doubt he gets more sex seeing several casually if, for example, he was living with a partner having sex every day or every other day. These women might have limited time available, kids etc. What he's certainly getting is variety. This person is not monogamous, which is why I never see anyone who wants casual. Imagine exposure to STDs with that many partners! These 4 women could be sleeping with several men each, too |
As a woman, I could easily sleep with 4 men, too. The question is, how to find time? Is he not employed/retired? |
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This was me at some point in my 20s. The variety (in bed) was fun, but also they had different personaliteis/interests. One enjoyed doing outdoors stuff on Saturdays; another liked to go to hip hop clubs; another liked to meet for lunch during the week and then have me come by after a night out with my buddies on the weekend.
I picked the types that did not generally like to date around. No STD issues. |
| “Juggling 5 people at a time” is pretty much every woman on OLD lmao. |
Variety and marginal utility matter here. For a casual dater, 4 sexes a week w/ 4 girls is better than 5 sexes a week with 1 girl. The excitement from variety outweighs whatever the man gets from a marginal increase of sex. |
Did they know about others? |
Men don't really make or care about this calculation. |
I would imagine so. |
As a woman I can juggle up 4-5 "suitors" on OLD but I never see anyone beyond 3 dates if I realize I'm not interested sexually or in LTR. So the "countdown" is swift and I end up with one in a month or so. I also stop seeing others if I start sleeping with one. |
"Casual dater" = poly man. For other men that stops being fun and they get overwhelmed. Many guys told me that after a year on OLD they literally get sick of f...g around and just want to pick one that addresses their needs. A lot of men actually like stability of easily accessible sex, and not spend on dates constantly chasing new partners |
Sure, but what you described isn't OP's situation. The guy is seeing OP while doing stuff with 4 others. Clearly "f..g around" like most people do at some point in OLD. |
Variety, I guess. Maybe he was married a while and now he's making up for "lost time"? He must have a lot of free time. |
Causal dating isn't hard. What is difficult about seeing multiple girls at the same time if it's casual? See one girl Thursday. See another one Saturday. What's more fun is enjoying the company of more than one girl who you find attractive. And of course more chance for sex and you find out real quick who's good and who's not. In the end, if you are dating casual it shouldn't be a big deal. |