Should I say something to my friend’s reaction to husband’s comment?

[Anonymous]

I was recently out at dinner with my DH and several couple friends. We were talking about a trip overseas DH and I had made last year and some ex pats we met out one night. When DH mentioned how stunning and sultry one of the women we met was, a woman at the table got kind of big eyes like she was shocked and disgusted he would say that.

I’m not ok with her reaction, I felt like she was really judging my DH unfairly and like this could come back to bite DH and/or me if he’s going to be potentially painted as some creep or womanizer. I am not sure if I should say something to her or just distance myself just in case?

[Anonymous]

I definitely wouldn't say anything after the fact. The damage is done. Your husband made a hella creepy comment.

[Anonymous]

Ummm no you can’t control other people’s reactions to the way your husband is a creep who blatantly disrespects you. You might be used to it but no one else is.

[Anonymous]

This is not going to bite you or DH. Your friend will continue to think your DH is weird (accurate) but I doubt it will drive her to falsely accuse your DH of molesting her or something.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you say something to your husband?!

[Anonymous]

Ex pats lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ummm no you can’t control other people’s reactions to the way your husband is a creep who blatantly disrespects you. You might be used to it but no one else is.

“a creep who blatantly disrespects you”?

Please. I’m not OP but the first few replies here are clearly from the miserable DCUM divorcees who are bringing all their own baggage to the party.

It’s not inherently “disrespectful” for one spouse to refer to some other human as attractive. It’s utterly mundane. If you think this kind of comment is beyond the pale, that is a good hint about why you are bitter and alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm no you can’t control other people’s reactions to the way your husband is a creep who blatantly disrespects you. You might be used to it but no one else is.

“a creep who blatantly disrespects you”?

Please. I’m not OP but the first few replies here are clearly from the miserable DCUM divorcees who are bringing all their own baggage to the party.

It’s not inherently “disrespectful” for one spouse to refer to some other human as attractive. It’s utterly mundane. If you think this kind of comment is beyond the pale, that is a good hint about why you are bitter and alone.

He didn’t say she was attractive.

He said she was sultry.

He sounds creepy and my h and I often comment to each other when we see an attractive person

But we are not creepy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ummm no you can’t control other people’s reactions to the way your husband is a creep who blatantly disrespects you. You might be used to it but no one else is.

“a creep who blatantly disrespects you”?

Please. I’m not OP but the first few replies here are clearly from the miserable DCUM divorcees who are bringing all their own baggage to the party.

It’s not inherently “disrespectful” for one spouse to refer to some other human as attractive. It’s utterly mundane. If you think this kind of comment is beyond the pale, that is a good hint about why you are bitter and alone.

Happily married but I would find it offensive if my husband said what he said in front of my friends. Sorry you are getting walked all over in your personal life.

[Anonymous]

Looking at this through the best lens, your DH is a little clueless about how his remarks will be perceived. An audience of friendly couples was probably not the audience (if such an audience even exists) to describe how sultry and attractive you find another woman.
I wouldn’t say anything to friend - what can you even say in defense?
If you want to distance yourself & DH, that makes sense.
But who are you worried about her communicating this to - friends that may impact social links, or business colleagues impacting $$?

[Anonymous]

Misplaced anger. You are mad at your husband for making rhe comments and are taking your anger at your friend. If you were truly okay with the comments,you wouöd roll your eyes at your friend and laugh about it with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Misplaced anger. You are mad at your husband for making rhe comments and are taking your anger at your friend. If you were truly okay with the comments,you wouöd roll your eyes at your friend and laugh about it with your husband.

OP here. I don’t disagree with you. This is who he is and I’m used to it after all these years, but she had no right to judge and I’m just worried she’s going to amplify what he said and make it worse for both him and me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Misplaced anger. You are mad at your husband for making rhe comments and are taking your anger at your friend. If you were truly okay with the comments,you wouöd roll your eyes at your friend and laugh about it with your husband.

OP here. I don’t disagree with you. This is who he is and I’m used to it after all these years, but she had no right to judge and I’m just worried she’s going to amplify what he said and make it worse for both him and me.

You seem really wacky.

“Make it worse”?

Are you originally American?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Misplaced anger. You are mad at your husband for making rhe comments and are taking your anger at your friend. If you were truly okay with the comments,you wouöd roll your eyes at your friend and laugh about it with your husband.

OP here. I don’t disagree with you. This is who he is and I’m used to it after all these years, but she had no right to judge and I’m just worried she’s going to amplify what he said and make it worse for both him and me.

Of course she has the right to judge. We all do. Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

She didnt judge, she was shocked someone would say something like that at the dinner table. Unless she started interrogating your husband about it, she isnt doing anything wrong.

You are overreacting.