Sister is 38 and says she's still waiting to have children
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Anonymous
| My sister (38) and husband (37) have been married for around 4 years. When she was about to get married, she mentioned she wanted wanted kids some day, but she wanted to enjoy the marriage first. I know I might be nosy, but the fact she mentioned again that she was "waiting" to have kids made me worried. I have several friends/family members who postponed children until their late 30s for reasons ranging from advancing their careers, travelling to just not being sure if they wanted children, who then started having trouble to conceive or who didn't manage to conceive at all. I'm afraid my sister and her husband my end up having troubles if they keep postponing having children, and they don't even seem to be bothered that the window might close. I've seen the emotional toll that infertility took on my friends and I don't want my sister to go trough the same. How can I bring this up in a respectful way? |
Anonymous
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You can’t. She can read, and she has friends who have had problems conceiving just like you do—and friends who had no problems at her age or later, just like you do.
You have no new information to bring to her decision-making. Say nothing. |
Anonymous
| With all the information out there, I would be surprised if they weren’t aware. I would myob in this case, and not be that annoying person. |
Anonymous
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For all you know, they have been trying for awhile and having fertility issues they do not care to share. This was the case for us FWIW.
Regardless- MYOB |
Anonymous
| A lot of people will tell you to mind your own business. Personally, I think you should bring it up. I would with my sister. It would be different if she wasn’t married and saying she wanted to have children. Some people just don’t pay attention and understand that fertility issues are real. So many famous people have kids later in life so it makes people think they can too. |
Anonymous
| Actions speak louder than words. People who are ready to have children and who really want children don't wait to have children. Sounds like your sister likes her life as it is more than she likes the prospect of children, or she's having marital, financial or medical issues you're not aware of and the "I want to enjoy my marriage first" is just her letting you know that she can't have children at the moment without telling you the reason. |
Anonymous
| I had my kids at 42 and 44, took less than three months to get pregnant each time. Kids are perfectly healthy and smart. Leave her alone. |
Anonymous
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Shut up and get a hobby, OP.
Maybe they want to adopt. Maybe they have frozen eggs. Whatever. None of your business. You need to get a life, ASAP. |
Anonymous
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I'm 38 and have been totally infertile (despite having 2 children) since 35. There is no hope of me ever carrying a baby to term again.
Honestly it may be already too late so there is much you can say. If you want to say one more thing I would add, hey egg freezing is a great idea if you want to continue to wait. |
Anonymous
That's a good point too. |
Anonymous
OP here. I know having children in your 40s is possible, but fertility issues also become pretty common at that age. Most of the women who were trying to TTC and couldn't were approaching their 40s. |
Anonymous
+1,000. How do you know that she just doesn’t want to share with you that they are having fertility issues and is putting you off by saying they are waiting?MYOB. If she wanted to discuss this further with you she would. |
Anonymous
| MYOB. Surely she isn't so stupid as to be unaware of the issues that come with trying to conceive later in life. |
Anonymous
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MYOB OP get a life! HER fertility is NONE of your business.
You have no idea if she changed her mind about wanting kids and is just saying she's waiting to keep people like YOU off her back. WTF?! People like you are insane. |
Anonymous
Worry about your own uterus. Let her deal with her own. |