Sister is 38 and says she's still waiting to have children

[Anonymous]

Your concern for her uterus is insane. Mind your own business you have no idea what they're really thinking, planning or going through. You know nothing. Get a life, a hobby and stop worrying about her uterus.

[Anonymous]

We didn't have our kid until I was 40 and after 13 years of marriage. We would probably have tried sooner, but our marriage hit a couple of rough patches that took a few years to work through and were something I would not have discussed with family. Thankfully we came out stronger and I am so happy that no one was bothering me about having kids during that already challenging time. We probably seemed "perfect" from the outside, even to family, but it was not a place to bring children into. All that to say, mind your own business OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my kids at 42 and 44, took less than three months to get pregnant each time. Kids are perfectly healthy and smart. Leave her alone.

OP here. I know having children in your 40s is possible, but fertility issues also become pretty common at that age. Most of the women who were trying to TTC and couldn't were approaching their 40s.

What does your sister do for a living? Is she educated? Do you honestly believe she is not aware of this issue or wouldn't have looked into it?

Yes, she's educated, but many of the women who postponed pregnancy were smart and educated as well.

Sure, but I imagine they were aware of the risk, but postponed children for other reasons like financial, career, husband not on board, or whatever. I doubt they did not know fertility could be an issue as you approach 40.

To me, this is like telling a fat person they could lose weight if they ate less. Hardly earth shattering information and more likely to offend than enlighten.

If you do say something, I'd advise you do it once and only once.

[Anonymous]

OP since when are you in their bedroom?

MYOB and shut up

Seriously shut up and grow up because clearly you have not and should not be raising kids.

[Anonymous]

When she says she is waiting, I would ask if she has discussed this with her GYN?

[Anonymous]

This is like telling someone they are fat: She knows!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people will tell you to mind your own business. Personally, I think you should bring it up. I would with my sister. It would be different if she wasn’t married and saying she wanted to have children. Some people just don’t pay attention and understand that fertility issues are real. So many famous people have kids later in life so it makes people think they can too.

Do people really think that someone who genuinely wants children waits to have them just they saw some celebrity postponing pregnancy?

My sister waited until she was 37 to try to have kids. Her husband took a while to decide he wanted to get married - so it wasn’t the same situation. But she was really surprised when she couldn’t get pregnant. Like shocked. She thought she’d have no problems. She’s very smart and successful. You’d be surprised what people don’t realize with fertility.

[Anonymous]

Any time your post includes the phrase, “I know I might be being nosy…” you know it’s a clue to MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people will tell you to mind your own business. Personally, I think you should bring it up. I would with my sister. It would be different if she wasn’t married and saying she wanted to have children. Some people just don’t pay attention and understand that fertility issues are real. So many famous people have kids later in life so it makes people think they can too.

Do people really think that someone who genuinely wants children waits to have them just they saw some celebrity postponing pregnancy?

My sister waited until she was 37 to try to have kids. Her husband took a while to decide he wanted to get married - so it wasn’t the same situation. But she was really surprised when she couldn’t get pregnant. Like shocked. She thought she’d have no problems. She’s very smart and successful. You’d be surprised what people don’t realize with fertility.

Yes, she might have been shocked to realize she was having issues. The point I'm trying to make is that, not matter how clueless you are about your fertility, if you're ready to have kids and want them, you'll try having them. If you're postponing motherhood you're probably doing it because you're not very interested in having children or there is something else going on in your life that makes having children a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she says she is waiting, I would ask if she has discussed this with her GYN?

WTF NO MYOB. You think you have a right to know what she did or didn't discuss with her GYNO? You're crazy!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When she says she is waiting, I would ask if she has discussed this with her GYN?

I'm pretty sure that people interested in having kids have already discussed these things with their obgyns. If she says she hasn't then that's a sign she's not as interested in children as the OP is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my kids at 42 and 44, took less than three months to get pregnant each time. Kids are perfectly healthy and smart. Leave her alone.

OP here. I know having children in your 40s is possible, but fertility issues also become pretty common at that age. Most of the women who were trying to TTC and couldn't were approaching their 40s.

What does your sister do for a living? Is she educated? Do you honestly believe she is not aware of this issue or wouldn't have looked into it?

Yes, she's educated, but many of the women who postponed pregnancy were smart and educated as well.

And many of us then had kids with no problems. So?

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all you know, they have been trying for awhile and having fertility issues they do not care to share. This was the case for us FWIW.

Regardless- MYOB

+1
I used to say the same bc it shut people up and kept them from having a pity party. In reality we had several failed ivfs, miscarriages, etc. Everyone handles things differently, but I preferred not to talk about it, and this was the easiest way to not go there.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she’s going through infertility now and says she’s waiting so you will drop the topic and stop being nosy. We didn’t tell anyone we were trying until we were pregnant with our IVF baby 3 years after getting married in our 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people will tell you to mind your own business. Personally, I think you should bring it up. I would with my sister. It would be different if she wasn’t married and saying she wanted to have children. Some people just don’t pay attention and understand that fertility issues are real. So many famous people have kids later in life so it makes people think they can too.

Do people really think that someone who genuinely wants children waits to have them just they saw some celebrity postponing pregnancy?

My sister waited until she was 37 to try to have kids. Her husband took a while to decide he wanted to get married - so it wasn’t the same situation. But she was really surprised when she couldn’t get pregnant. Like shocked. She thought she’d have no problems. She’s very smart and successful. You’d be surprised what people don’t realize with fertility.

Yes, she might have been shocked to realize she was having issues. The point I'm trying to make is that, not matter how clueless you are about your fertility, if you're ready to have kids and want them, you'll try having them. If you're postponing motherhood you're probably doing it because you're not very interested in having children or there is something else going on in your life that makes having children a bad idea.

This isn't true for everyone - I never felt "ready" to have kids but we just went for it. I know a lot of people that never really felt ready. It may help OP's sister to know that. And I think the MYOB posters are being a little rough on OP. This isn't just some acquaintance or a cousin, but her sister. Can't she speak openly with her own sister?