How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

[Anonymous]

What does a man need to do to not be served divorced papers? If he is a good father, he helps around the house, he is not an alcoholic and isn’t physically and mentally abusive, what else does he need to do to keep his wife happy?

Specifically, what exactly do women mean when they complain that their husbands are not “emotionally supportive”?

How do you show “emotional support”?
I’m getting divorced because my soon to be ex wife said that we grew apart because I was not emotionally supportive. I never dismissed her when she came to me with things that were bothering her at work or with her girlfriend, every time she got into a fight with her mom I was there to support her, when she came home stressed from work and was crying I supported her and I even helped her change career and get a better job.

[Anonymous]

I do not think there is a specific formula but every woman is different they are not the easiest people to read and/or understand. There are men out there though who can read them and they are the ones f***cking our wives ….

[Anonymous]

Well there are a few possibilities:

1. She is too immature to realize and accept that a DH is not necessarily a trained therapist who knows the perfect thing to say at all times

2. She wants to be with someone else and using you as a scapegoat

3. You are actually an a-hole and don’t realize it. Also, wtf is “helping” around the house

[Anonymous]

She is unhappy and thinks you are the source. When you are divorced, she will still be unhappy. You will be balls deep in someone new and unencumbered. You will be happy. She still won’t be. Give it about three years and mark my words.

[Anonymous]

Is that literally all she said? Surely there was some addional narrative there like you don't do X or whatever.

If not, the other possibilities mentioned above could be true (her affair or her just being crazy).

[Anonymous]

Why would you "help" around your own house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is unhappy and thinks you are the source. When you are divorced, she will still be unhappy. You will be balls deep in someone new and unencumbered. You will be happy. She still won’t be. Give it about three years and mark my words.

So inaccurate. Every divorced woman I know who was unhappy while married got rid of the source of unhappiness…which was a crappy partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well there are a few possibilities:

1. She is too immature to realize and accept that a DH is not necessarily a trained therapist who knows the perfect thing to say at all times

2. She wants to be with someone else and using you as a scapegoat

3. You are actually an a-hole and don’t realize it. Also, wtf is “helping” around the house

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is unhappy and thinks you are the source. When you are divorced, she will still be unhappy. You will be balls deep in someone new and unencumbered. You will be happy. She still won’t be. Give it about three years and mark my words.

She might be happy in the future. OP might be too.

Being divorced is awesome in some ways. I'll agree with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is unhappy and thinks you are the source. When you are divorced, she will still be unhappy. You will be balls deep in someone new and unencumbered. You will be happy. She still won’t be. Give it about three years and mark my words.

So inaccurate. Every divorced woman I know who was unhappy while married got rid of the source of unhappiness…which was a crappy partner.

And every divorced woman I know who was unhappy while married or not, was and is a salty person. Always blamed her significant other and she was the one to shoulder the blame!

[Anonymous]

Ask HER. People are like snowflakes. Each one of us is unique . It’s a little cheesy, but there’s a lot of wisdom in the Five Love Languages— even if it’s just to get you to understand that different people need different things to feel seen and loved.

[Anonymous]

I have been an avid DCUM reader for 12 years or so and my research has led to the following theory:

People (men and women) have no idea what they want, need, or how their own marriage is going until it implodes and then they think “oh, I guess I wasn’t in a good marriage.” People who have divorced devise a narrative about what happened in their marriage that serves their own purposes, namely, justifying their decision to divorce. All of this is understandable as a regular person is bombarded with information every moment of the day and cannot possibly be objective.

[Anonymous]

I would say my boyfriend is not emotionally supportive. What I mean by that is that I'm not allowed to have a bad/off day.

If he's grumpy, I listen to him complain or i say sympathetic things or I show him physical affection.

If I'm grumpy...he gets grumpy. And then I have to do the above things, on top of shaking off whatever was bothering me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say my boyfriend is not emotionally supportive. What I mean by that is that I'm not allowed to have a bad/off day.

If he's grumpy, I listen to him complain or i say sympathetic things or I show him physical affection.

If I'm grumpy...he gets grumpy. And then I have to do the above things, on top of shaking off whatever was bothering me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say my boyfriend is not emotionally supportive. What I mean by that is that I'm not allowed to have a bad/off day.

If he's grumpy, I listen to him complain or i say sympathetic things or I show him physical affection.

If I'm grumpy...he gets grumpy. And then I have to do the above things, on top of shaking off whatever was bothering me.

That sounds exhausting and frustrating.