Parental exhaustion

[Anonymous]

I’m 50 with kids in 6th and 8th grades, normal amount of activities, high-stress job. DH has WFH flexibility and does more of the hands-on tasks; I’m the planner and am out of the house from 7:30-6pm.

Problem is, I’m utterly exhausted. I have trouble staying asleep and do weights or light cardio in the morning. After work I can’t do anything but do my share of taking kids to activities, maybe read or watch TV for 30 minutes, and collapse in bed. At the end of last year, I did not have energy to keep up with the kids’ academic performance. DH and I have made a plan to be more on top of things but I don’t know where I’ll get the energy.

I worry about work and our finances and home repairs and the kids (no huge problems with the kids). Did anyone have an energy dip at this age and how did you manage it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 50 with kids in 6th and 8th grades, normal amount of activities, high-stress job. DH has WFH flexibility and does more of the hands-on tasks; I’m the planner and am out of the house from 7:30-6pm.

Problem is, I’m utterly exhausted. I have trouble staying asleep and do weights or light cardio in the morning. After work I can’t do anything but do my share of taking kids to activities, maybe read or watch TV for 30 minutes, and collapse in bed. At the end of last year, I did not have energy to keep up with the kids’ academic performance. DH and I have made a plan to be more on top of things but I don’t know where I’ll get the energy.

I worry about work and our finances and home repairs and the kids (no huge problems with the kids). Did anyone have an energy dip at this age and how did you manage it?

I'm 43 and I'm the hands on flexible parent whose DH has the more demanding job. But I say to him often that I don't understand how people do this with more than 2 kids. Each of my kids is in one fairly involved extracuricular but that's it. We do stay on top of their grades and assignments and between that and the extracurriculars I'm comletely tapped out.

[Anonymous]

No answer for you- I feel the exact same. In my 40s with 3DC (7th-9th grades). DH and I are both exhausted. Summer has been easier, not looking forward to the daily grind when school starts.

[Anonymous]

Have you had a physical lately? The level of exhaustion seems extreme versus what you need to do each day. Also, do you snore? Maybe you think you’re sleeping but you’re actually getting poor quality sleep from sleep apnea?

[Anonymous]

53 + DS rising 8th grader who plays a demanding sport. Me - high powered job but mostly WFH w/some travel. DH travels a lot. I’m always exhausted. You’re not alone.

[Anonymous]

Have had a physical in the last year. I’m about 15 lbs overweight but my numbers all look good. I haven’t been told that I snore by DH. Periods are infrequent.

From the other responses, it seems like this is
pretty common at this stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you had a physical lately? The level of exhaustion seems extreme versus what you need to do each day. Also, do you snore? Maybe you think you’re sleeping but you’re actually getting poor quality sleep from sleep apnea?

Yes, at 51 I feel the same way, but also yes--go get a check up. The sleep could be interrupted by sleep apnea, or hormone changes, etc. but worth trying to figure it out. Thyroid or other issues could be to blame. You may not be well rested.

Could you change the time that you work out to later in the day? That might give you a boost of energy later when you need it more.

Also diet--when I recently switched to getting more whole foods and especially more protein, I've had more even energy. (Believe me when I say I didn't want this to be true, but we had gotten into some pretty bad diet habits over the years.)

Could your kids pick up any of the chores?

I don't know what the answer is--but some combo of sleep, good food, stress relief. CBD gummies for sleep maybe?

[Anonymous]

We feel the same and are 46 and 49. No answers here. Everyone I talk to who works full time, especially not working from home, and has active teens feels the same.

[Anonymous]

I went on Wellbutrin and it helped me have the pep and motivation I used to have.

[Anonymous]

I'm 41 and my kids are 13, 11 and 8 and I am pretty tired. I find that I sleep better if I set an alarm in the morning and don't let myself sleep in past my normal time, even on the weekends.

[Anonymous]

It is normal, but get a workup and try melatonin. I like rain sounds on my phone to get back to sleep. Be more conscientious about your sleep hygiene, try an eye mask.

[Anonymous]

I recommend the physical too. I had some low vitamin levels and ask about help with your sleep or take something over the counter. I wouldstart with that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I could improve my diet. It’s good through dinner and then I end up wolfing down carbs or mindless snacking.

[Anonymous]

1) Good a full check up - lipid profile, thyroid panel, bp, a1c, metabolic panel.

2) Eat a lot of veggies and fruits. Cut out processed food, sugar, junk, cola, caffeine, alcohol and smoking. Try and eat mostly plant based whole foods and limit meat, dairy etc, if you cannot eliminate it entirely.

3) Lose weight in a healthy manner.

4) Get 8 hours of sleep.

5) Take Magnesium, vit d3, vit K2 MK7 (300 mcg), b-complex at bedtime

6) Drink Organic A2 Keffir

7) Take iron supplement in the afternoon for 10 days.

8) walk for at least 10 minutes in a relaxed pace immediately after every meal. Try and walk for 10K every day. Track your steps.

[Anonymous]

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