Parental exhaustion
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Anonymous
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Getting a fully remote job was a game changer for me. I’m 51 with 2 teens. It’s really only doable since I cut out the commute and all that comes with prepping to go to work everyday.
I now have time to exercise and eat healthy. And I can still easily work extra hours as needed. |
Anonymous
| I was tired before, but my parents and their emergencies and the ornery behavior did me in. |
Anonymous
same here |
Anonymous
| Could be hormones and lack of sleep, but could be a deeper medical issue. I spent years like this, and it was a rare medical condition in the end. With treatment, I feel great-and much younger. It had to get really bad before my doctor took it seriously though and investigated more. You have a number of challenging years of parenting ahead. I would try to dig deeper for a cause. To be tired is normal, but that tired is not |
Anonymous
Your kids are old enough to manage their own academics and well be far better off as adults for having been allowed to have done so. |
Anonymous
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Oh honey - I am same age with same aged kids! What's really helped me is WFH. I spend the first 30-60 min daily being the family manager whether it's planning/emailing/school or house follow ups. Kids both in private. DH also WFH 4 days and no travel. He is very much my partner. One of our kids has learning disabilities requiring a lot if extra work - pray tutoring + our help.
We order out a lot for dinners easy stuff like chipotle or popoyes for kids. DH and I just do whatever. We have a house cleaner every wk. honestly I have no prob with laundry but it is the mental stuff like homework, planning vacations and such, carpooling and weekend club sports activities that kill me. It's gotten better in terms of having a structured approach of a set time to deal with all this - try that. Can't help you on the carpool front but it has gotten better for me. Working in a less stressful individual contributor role is a big plus. I think as parents it's just par for the course. But you're not alone and I think those who say they aren't impacted by kid stuff at these ages are lying!!! |
Anonymous
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I found my people. I have two teens who both drive me bonkers for different reasons. Generally great kids, but they're both boundary pushers (especially my oldest). My DH who is wonderful works a very intensive job with lots of travel. I SAH for years because I was too much but went back to work a few years ago only because it is 100% remote. We have 0 family support.
I wish I had answers but you are not alone. |
Anonymous
Damn you work too much lol! Of course you are exhausted. Being out of the house for 12 hrs a day and then being a parent is physically hard and if stressful job no wonder you are tired. Who wouldn't be? I'm not sure you can do much except become superwoman to feel better - hahaha! If it were me I would find another job or try working hybrid. Kids are a FT job I don't care what anyone says! And my kids bring also sane ages, I've said that it's harder now than when younger as I could actually hire Nannies.. now I actually have to drive and cook and ensure mentally they are good. MUCH more work = exhaustion! |
Anonymous
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So you were like 36 and 38 when you had your kids? I think this is what happens when you have kids later in life. I understand circumstances happen and a lot of people aren’t having kids younger but that means you are in the thick of things in your late 40s early 50s. That is a lot and exhausting!
Good luck to you - I would make sure you try and prioritize some fitness, sleep and eating well. |
Anonymous
| I'd recommend a full thyroid panel (not just TSH) as well as hormones. You may be hypothyroid and you are definitely in perimenopause, and you might consider going on replacement hormones if appropriate depending on what the numbers show. |
Anonymous
I disagree with this and I had my kids fairly early - 31, 34, and 35. My kids are still very young but my husband and I are killing ourselves right now between work and kids and despite HHI being $760K we feel behind a lot of our oldest child's friends parents who had kids when they were older and had more savings and a larger HHI when they started having kids. Unless you have your children really young or really old your max earning years are going to be when your children need you and that is inherently difficult to deal with because it's exhausting to both try to perform well at work and be an involved parent and on top of all that to try to sustain a great relationship with your spouse while also being physically active, looking attractive, maintaining friendships and family relationships, saving money/being financially savvy, planning trips, scheduling activities, making sure everyone has everything they need, etc. I wish we stopped at two kids even though I can't imagine life without my third and am so grateful that all of my kids are healthy and fairly easy but when I say this to my husband he reminds me that our life was also stressful with two kids. Two working parents and two or more kids is just really hard at any age. |
Anonymous
| I’m not OP but one of the posters and what I’m getting from this thread is that I really need a WFH job. I’m a teacher about to start another year so not sure how that’s possible but maybe I should seriously look into Virtual Virginia! - exhausted middle age mom |
Anonymous
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Just a different take, but The Self Driven Child and the sequel What Do You Say are all about putting the responsibility for your kid's life back where it belongs....on them. Not to say we don't have a role, but I'm looking for ways to support my kid and hold boundaries but reduce micromanaging.
They are worth a read, whether you agree or not. Good luck. |
Anonymous
| What helped me was to catch up with my childless 50 yo friend who never stopped working out and realizing she's slowing down just as much as my frazzled self. |
Anonymous
| Have you tried hormone replacement therapy? I think HRT is what you're looking for. |