I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old if you have a 12yo. No wonder you don’t have much in common with non-perimenopausal moms.

Really? I'm not OP but I have a 12 yo and I am 38. I think she's kind of rude, but I sort of see her point. How old are you?

34. I only have two (7 and 4) but none of the moms of 3 that I know fit this bill. Then again I’m not a bitter old raisin, so I guess social butterflies flock together and leave out the lemon-faced judgies.

Hi PP, you sound just about as awful as OP. Is that what you are going for? Signed, a mom of two that is younger than you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, in my circles I don’t know anyone with 3+ kids with a decent career. Most of them SAHMs. A couple work, but not high income jobs.

Depends on what you mean by a high earner. I intentionally don’t work at a law firm, because then I wouldn’t see my three children. But that’s partially on me. The sort of law I would want to practice isn’t terribly flexible and I’m not good at stepping out of the race; I could never settle for Of Counsel even for a bigger paycheck than I have now. Some moms could and more power to them, as they likely feel a bit less financial pressure than I do. But I have fairly prestige government law job that is fascinating and I really enjoy. I work about 45-50 hours a week and have time to see my kids and volunteer at their school. I have good friends with 0-3 kids; 2 of our closest friends that we see 2ish times a month are childless. Yeah, my DH & I do trade off and on running after our 2 year old, but the other can socialize normally and we both can once they’re in bed. Our good childless friends do work around us more because their lives are more flexible, but we make sure to make sacrifices to hang out on their terms when it really matters. I’m glad our friends aren’t like you.

[Anonymous]

Oh so now the mommy wars have devolved into HOW MANY kids we have and not just whether we work or stay at home? Geez, I feel like I can't keep up with you ladies!

[Anonymous]

Just know, OP, that your mom of three friends probably think that YOU are the boring one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are trolling, obviously too much time on your hands. Maybe have a second to keep you busy?

She can’t. She’s too old.

[Anonymous]

I do think the moms of only children get to keep more of their identity since there is only one child and not pulled in so many directions. If you weren’t interesting to begin with, it would not matter if you got to keep more of your identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh so now the mommy wars have devolved into HOW MANY kids we have and not just whether we work or stay at home? Geez, I feel like I can't keep up with you ladies!

Sarcastically calling posters in this forum “ladies” is a good start—you fit right in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Correct. “It's impossible to have adult only time doing something fun because spending $60 an hour for a sitter is too expensive for them.” Hyperbolic, judge mental, self-satisfied and cruel. Super cool combo.

How is this cruel?

It’s literally too expensive for many families to pay someone to babysit 3 kids. If she is a SAHM and they live on one income. How are you not aware of this?
How much does a night out cost for them? At very minimum $60 just for sitter. What if it’s 3 hours away?

That’s why we never do adult things together. That’s why they tag along their kids everywhere. My friend is not going to pay $60 to a sitter to have a $10 lunch with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, my DH & I do trade off and on running after our 2 year old, but the other can socialize normally and we both can once they’re in bed.

Yeah, you just don’t understand that chasing your two year old around is not quality time spent with your friends and that you are not present for a meaningful conversation. And you are too self absorbed to look at it from others’ perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are trolling, obviously too much time on your hands. Maybe have a second to keep you busy?

She can’t. She’s too old.

You think just because a woman is not popping kids out she is too old?
Well, that’s pretty pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Cool story bro. To each their own. Why start a post about this?

- Mom of 4 kids who somehow still manages to have friends who are moms of 1, 2, 3, or 4 kids because I like them for who they are and not by the number of kids they may or may not have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are trolling, obviously too much time on your hands. Maybe have a second to keep you busy?

She can’t. She’s too old.

You think just because a woman is not popping kids out she is too old?
Well, that’s pretty pathetic.

No, I say that because she has a 12-year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. We don’t have breakable knick knacks in the living room. We also don’t go out to dinner as much because, for us, it does get expensive. I just don’t care about these things that much. I really like my family the way it is.

I have two and they are little. Nothing about what OP described with her fancy furniture or whatever is appealing to me. She sounds boring.

I have friends with multiples and friends with no kids. They all have a lot of varied interests.

Like you, PP, I am really happy with the way things are for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, my DH & I do trade off and on running after our 2 year old, but the other can socialize normally and we both can once they’re in bed.

Yeah, you just don’t understand that chasing your two year old around is not quality time spent with your friends and that you are not present for a meaningful conversation. And you are too self absorbed to look at it from others’ perspective.

PSA: If you have a friend who thinks that tending to your toddler is self absorbed, dumb her. Cut that cord and never look back. No mother needs that toxicity in her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
PSA: If you have a friend who thinks that tending to your toddler is self absorbed, dumb her. Cut that cord and never look back. No mother needs that toxicity in her life.

PSA: if you’re invited to an adult event and you spent the whole time chasing another of your toddlers because you can’t afford a babysitter and can’t stop having children, don’t come. There’s a fine line between a play date and adult get together.