How are you raising your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see it from a different perspective. It should be about the Coach and the Player only. Communication should only happen between Coach and Player only.

- Parents should have no involvement in team management and should only be able to meet with the Coach with the Player and Staffer if a meeting is needed.
- It's up to your DC to speak up if they aren't getting playing time, ask what skills they should be working on outside of practice, etc. If parents need to say something to the coach it will have to come from player or setup meeting.
- Parents should not be recommending guest players to a Coach - again parents should have no involvement in the team decisions or who the coach should look at. Parents should only be driving the kid to practice/games and cheering them on the sidelines.
- I don't think a coach needs to justify decisions being made. He is the coach and will do what's needed (within reason) to get the W.

Parents are just in the way of the kid's development and progress in the sport if they have involvement. When your kid goes off to play in college/pro's are mommy and daddy going to be there to fight for playing time or making decisions for them? Might as well let them make the mistakes now so they can learn from them and not from you telling them what to do. If your kid wants to play at the next level they will work hard and do what they need to do to get there.

First bolded point: Assuming that the point is winning, maybe.

Second bolded point: I disagree. Why should a kid have to speak up to a coach to figure out what he's doing wrong? He should know, based on respectful communications from the coach at practice and through periodic player evaluations. "Get better" doesn't cut it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, this is terrifying. My dd just got into u9 and now I’m questioning our decision to join. It’s a game, people! I just want her to get exercise and make friends.

You're off the team. Get out. Wrong sport. This is not for you. We don't want you or your kid. Go away. Karen. or Chad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it from a different perspective. It should be about the Coach and the Player only. Communication should only happen between Coach and Player only.

- Parents should have no involvement in team management and should only be able to meet with the Coach with the Player and Staffer if a meeting is needed.
- It's up to your DC to speak up if they aren't getting playing time, ask what skills they should be working on outside of practice, etc. If parents need to say something to the coach it will have to come from player or setup meeting.
- Parents should not be recommending guest players to a Coach - again parents should have no involvement in the team decisions or who the coach should look at. Parents should only be driving the kid to practice/games and cheering them on the sidelines.
- I don't think a coach needs to justify decisions being made. He is the coach and will do what's needed (within reason) to get the W.

Parents are just in the way of the kid's development and progress in the sport if they have involvement. When your kid goes off to play in college/pro's are mommy and daddy going to be there to fight for playing time or making decisions for them? Might as well let them make the mistakes now so they can learn from them and not from you telling them what to do. If your kid wants to play at the next level they will work hard and do what they need to do to get there.

First bolded point: Assuming that the point is winning, maybe.

Second bolded point: I disagree. Why should a kid have to speak up to a coach to figure out what he's doing wrong? He should know, based on respectful communications from the coach at practice and through periodic player evaluations. "Get better" doesn't cut it.

I think how much communication should be only the player depends a bit on the age group, and, like it or not, the parents are the final customers -- they are paying the bill. It's not fair to ask a younger child to be their own SOLE advocate. For instance, when our DD was U11, she had been coming off an injury and was frustrated that she was not getting play opportunities. Trying to teach her to speak for herself, we said, "go talk to Coach XXX after practice and say 'I'm disappointed I'm not playing more, could you give me some help in learning what I need to focus on to get back to where I was'".... Sounds like a good way to develop as a human, not just a soccer player, right?

She did that and Coach XXX's response was something to the effect of "You have sucked lately at X, Y, and Z. You should be grateful for the playtime you get. You will stay on the bench until I decide you suck less." And it was actually more pointed than that -- I just don't remember the exact words anymore as it's been several years. She left the field that day in tears, and my husband and I felt compelled to contact the coach, which we did. Our question was -- "Sometimes kids misinterpret what was said -- did she? If so, what did you mean say? If not, why would you think it is at all okay to speak that way to a 10 year old who is just trying to respect you as a coach and get better." His response -- He is the coach, we are the parents, and we should shut up -- and he DID say what she heard....

Point being, PP's argument that ONLY the player should be communicating can't be true in all cases. Parents aren't protecting a snowflake when they speak up against something truly unacceptable. And younger kids can be scarred by this sort of experience -- it shouldn't be tolerated. Good communication is good business and good human relations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see it from a different perspective. It should be about the Coach and the Player only. Communication should only happen between Coach and Player only.

- Parents should have no involvement in team management and should only be able to meet with the Coach with the Player and Staffer if a meeting is needed.
- It's up to your DC to speak up if they aren't getting playing time, ask what skills they should be working on outside of practice, etc. If parents need to say something to the coach it will have to come from player or setup meeting.
- Parents should not be recommending guest players to a Coach - again parents should have no involvement in the team decisions or who the coach should look at. Parents should only be driving the kid to practice/games and cheering them on the sidelines.
- I don't think a coach needs to justify decisions being made. He is the coach and will do what's needed (within reason) to get the W.

Parents are just in the way of the kid's development and progress in the sport if they have involvement. When your kid goes off to play in college/pro's are mommy and daddy going to be there to fight for playing time or making decisions for them? Might as well let them make the mistakes now so they can learn from them and not from you telling them what to do. If your kid wants to play at the next level they will work hard and do what they need to do to get there.

Wrong let me say it again WRONG....
A parent should be part of a meeting a team manager (if a volunteer parent) has no business being present. If a parent a player and a coach all have regular meetings and communication. The expectations for improvement can more easily be met. Whether the parent can help keep the player following the coaches plan from home. If the coach can help with the players and parents expectations to help the player in his goals. Communication is the one single thing that most travel coaches and clubs all need to improve on. If the excuse is there are too many kids to keep up with. Thats not acceptable period. Clubs dont spread your coaches too thin that your players are the main focus. Coaches if you dont have time to focus on what your players need your failing them and therefore failing as a coach. Parents if you cant help the team by having your kids on time and available for all training and games. encouraging them to work other own time to get better you are failing the player and the team your a member of just as much. We all need to work in accord with each other to achieve the goals we set as a team not just what the coach wants and not just what the parent and player want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will to you outright that I am a coach.
I have actually been brought up in this forum a few times- some good, some bad. It is what it is.
Some of you folks, not all, really need to take an inventory of your lives.
I will bet that some of you, if asked, would say "Soccer isn't life. It needs to be kept in perspective" then you come rushing on here to bash your kids coach or, even worse, utilize the anonymity of the forum to cast aspersions on other teams. Sick.
Grow up will you?
I actually know of at least three parents who posted so obviously that they got caught by their kid's coach. How incredibly shameful and embarassing that must be.
Thanks to all of you who come here intelligently and contribute to the advancement of soccer

I'm curious. Which club are you with?

I am not going to say that for obvious reasons.
Look what happened below though. Instantly, someone came on and took a swipe at a coach.
If you don't like the coach, leave. It is really that simple.
If your child has a problem with the coach, he or she should address it with the coach before the parent gets involved. i realize that some children just can't do that, and in that case the parent should make contact, but what the parent SHOULDN'T do is regress to a junior high school level and come on here to do a hatchet job on somebody.
If you do that, you are a bad parent, plain and simple.
By the same token, if your kid loses a game, or gets cut by a team, or something in that vein and you race back here to badmouth not only the coach but also kids and their parents, you are still a bad parent but you have added on being a terrible person.
I will bet some of the people who in their petulant rages storm here to whine and moan are the same who would decry bullying of any sort and would stampede to the school if the slightest comment hurt their child's feelings.
It is people like this who keep our society in a constant state of turmoil and who unleash children onto the world who are unable to accept any reality other than their own. Sick

So What? You don't like it - you shouldn't come to the forum. What anyone says here won't change anything. All the coaches - including you - still have the same job for the same money and still act entitled! So why don't YOU leave? You are not the King of all things soccer and you don't get the only vote.

I am happy that's why. I do have kids, and we raise them to handle their own business ( I realize someone else asked the question). I never said I was the King of all things soccer , and as far as I know nothing is up for a vote. I am just coming here to state the obvious: if you come here to badmouth a coach, you are a bad parent. If you come here to badmouth other children, you are a bad parent and a terrible person. If your child was a guitarist, and you had a guitar teacher you didn't like, what would you do? Would you badmouth them on an anonymous forum somewhere or would you just leave? The same should apply to soccer and coaching. Soccer has become a breeding ground for Karens and Kens with nothing better to do than to try to hurt someone ( even KIDS) because their little darling experiences something other than utter satisfaction. A lot of the posting here is good, but a lot of it also exhibits some of the worst American society has to offer.

Perhaps you should take inventory here of what people think a "bad coach" is. Perhaps if you find yourself exhibiting the described behavior you should actively work to correct and improve that behavior. Just like you would want kids to work on their own to improve perhaps you should not consider yourself a finished project and realize that coaching is a learning and growing process as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

There is something immensely satisfying in proving people wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are my son's coach in Alexandria, perhaps the reason that you identify us is that so many of us based on our posts is that we are united as a front in being opposed to you cursing at 13 year old kids during a soccer practice. If you are someone else, I apologize.

[Anonymous]

There were no player-coach or player-coach-parent or coach-parent conferences back in my travel days and I turned out fine. The coach coached, the kids played (some more than others), and the parents watched. And if the coach was pissed, the coach communicated that to the players with emotion but also constructively, even if it involved colorful metaphors. It was rare, so the players listened. We were not verbally or mentally abused at practices, but when it was time to call out the team for playing poorly it was done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

There is something immensely satisfying in proving people wrong.

Not a recipe for a happy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are someone else, I apologize.

Why? If he's someone else, you haven't attacked him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

There is something immensely satisfying in proving people wrong.

Not a recipe for a happy life.

Quite the contrary. Everything in those last two posts builds resilience which is the key to happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

There is something immensely satisfying in proving people wrong.

Not a recipe for a happy life.

Scoring a hat trick against the former douche coach that wronged you is fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 to both above posts. Look: when you join a team that is not Rec, what you year is it’s all about your DCs development. You watch and wait. Then after a while you realize that all is not quite as it seems. Let’s say, the biggest players always start. Or at U11 or U10, the kids never play different positions. Or, playing time is a serious issue (which is never ok at very young ages). You raise this to the coach and they say, I’m the coach. Not you. Or you raise to the club and they say, it is at the coach’s discretion. You could leave, but now your DC has friends. And at least the downsides are known. Who would now trust another club or coach to be honest? How do you know the difference? All most of us want is for our kids to learn, grow, and have a great time playing competitive soccer. Play in high school. Maybe college for a very few. The system seems designed to beat families down, to be honest. I should not have to talk to the coach to get my 9YO to see more than 15 minutes in a game. Or to play anything other than defense. He may not be the best on the team now, but he is also unlikely to improve much with that little time in game. So. What do you do?

EXCELLENT points!

"What do you do?"

What we did was try a few different clubs until we found the right fit. IF we could go back in time sure, we'd do a lot of things differently. But the lesson for DS has been this is a journey and to enjoy every moment of it. Embrace the grind. W's are nice, but they don't define you. Neither do the L's, the team/club you are on at the moment nor league they play in. There's a book to be written once our journey is done. The chapter on personal character lessons learned will be huge. We stress that he's going to hear a thousand "No's" before or if he ever get's a yes... DS has been VERY dedicated to doing the extra work outside club training. We tried a private trainer and quickly saw that wasn't $ustainable. He's taken drills and ideas from coaches, YouTube, etc. That's been the key to his climb through the ranks. As a highschooler he's done a ton of trials to include MUCH higher level clubs in/outside the area. It's nice to see how he stacks up and gain comfort in the unfamiliar and potentially stressful tryout environment.

Same thing we have done with our sons. My HS kid can now role into tryouts anywhere confident. He is now seeing the fruits of that grit and hard work pay off. He handled some pretty sh*tty situations much better than I would have at his young ages and didn't let it get him down. Along the way, I made sure to find mentors for him that truly believed in him. One happened to be the U9 Coach his first year of travel. He trained with him for years after they both left the Club and he left Coaching completely. He has been a great role model all of these years and could always make him feel better about a lot of the nonsense that goes on in travel soccer. There are good people in this sport.

One thing I always did for my son was to show how things that seemed crappy at the time, ultimately ended up making him a much better player because it forced him to go find other options. Every.single.one of those times were for the better. He ended up in better situations and grew more as a player and got what he needed in that point in time. Adversity can be very good for growth and mental toughness. Those are truly great life lessons.

There is something immensely satisfying in proving people wrong.

Not a recipe for a happy life.

Scoring a hat trick against the former douche coach that wronged you is fun!

Or even better hearing he was fired!!!!