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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see it from a different perspective.  It should be about the Coach and the Player only.  Communication should only happen between Coach and Player only.

- Parents should have no involvement in team management and should only be able to meet with the Coach with the Player and Staffer if a meeting is needed.  
- [b]It's up to your DC to speak up if they aren't getting playing time, ask what skills they should be working on outside of practice, etc.  If parents need to say something to the coach it will have to come from player or setup meeting.[/b]
- Parents should not be recommending guest players to a Coach - again parents should have no involvement in the team decisions or who the coach should look at.  Parents should only be driving the kid to practice/games and cheering them on the sidelines.
[b]- I don't think a coach needs to justify decisions being made. He is the coach and will do what's needed (within reason) to get the W.  [/b]

Parents are just in the way of the kid's development and progress in the sport if they have involvement.  When your kid goes off to play in college/pro's are mommy and daddy going to be there to fight for playing time or making decisions for them?  Might as well let them make the mistakes now so they can learn from them and not from you telling them what to do. If your kid wants to play at the next level they will work hard and do what they need to do to get there.  
[/quote]

First bolded point:  Assuming that the point is winning, maybe.

Second bolded point: I disagree. Why should a kid have to speak up to a coach to figure out what he's doing wrong?  He should know, based on respectful communications from the coach at practice and through periodic player evaluations.  "Get better" doesn't cut it.

[/quote]

I think how much communication should be only the player depends a bit on the age group, and, like it or not, the parents are the final customers -- they are paying the bill.  It's not fair to ask a younger child to be their own SOLE advocate.  For instance, when our DD was U11, she had been coming off an injury and was frustrated that she was not getting play opportunities.  Trying to teach her to speak for herself, we said, "go talk to Coach XXX after practice and say 'I'm disappointed I'm not playing more, could you give me some help in learning what I need to focus on to get back to where I was'"....  Sounds like a good way to develop as a human, not just a soccer player, right?

She did that and Coach XXX's response was something to the effect of "You have sucked lately at X, Y, and Z.  You should be grateful for the playtime you get.  You will stay on the bench until I decide you suck less."  And it was actually more pointed than that -- I just don't remember the exact words anymore as it's been several years.  She left the field that day in tears, and my husband and I felt compelled to contact the coach, which we did.  Our question was -- "Sometimes kids misinterpret what was said -- did she?  If so, what did you mean say?  If not, why would you think it is at all okay to speak that way to a 10 year old who is just trying to respect you as a coach and get better."  His response -- He is the coach, we are the parents, and we should shut up -- and he DID say what she heard....

Point being, PP's argument that ONLY the player should be communicating can't be true in all cases.  Parents aren't protecting a snowflake when they speak up against something truly unacceptable.  And younger kids can be scarred by this sort of experience -- it shouldn't be tolerated.  Good communication is good business and good human relations.[/quote]

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