Disagreement About Childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he ok with putting kids in daycare when you have 2 kids, but not with 1 kid.
None of this makes sense.

I agree -- doesn't make sense -- so it's a T R O L L !!

OP here. He is fine with daycare. Our child was in daycare until the pandemic. He is not okay with it now because of Covid. Most kids in daycare are essential workers children, and he’s worried about the exposure risk. He is fine with daycare and hopes the pandemic will be over by the time we have a second and both are able to go to daycare.

[Anonymous]

OP, why does your husband get to say no to everything--

No daycare
No nanny
No job for you

He can get a white noise machine outside his office and shut the door. Or he can agree to daycare. But he's basically dictating your career and your childcare options. I would not be okay with that.

Also, we did a nanny share and it was great. We wanted it at our house (no getting kids ready, drop off, pick up) and the other family didn't so it was always with us. You could find another family like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why does your husband get to say no to everything--

No daycare
No nanny
No job for you

He can get a white noise machine outside his office and shut the door. Or he can agree to daycare. But he's basically dictating your career and your childcare options. I would not be okay with that.

Also, we did a nanny share and it was great. We wanted it at our house (no getting kids ready, drop off, pick up) and the other family didn't so it was always with us. You could find another family like that.

To be fair, OP is also saying no to everything.

[Anonymous]

Do not quit your job. The lifetime earnings hit you will take for a resume gap as a woman is not worth it if you actually need the income.

In home daycare is your answer. It’s like a nanny share that is never in your home. In VA they are registered/ licensed and you can pay them legally while keeping your clearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What job does he have that he cannot have a Nanny in his home?

He should not force you to quite if you do not need to, Either find a share in someone elses home, or do daycare.

OP here. My husband works for the federal government and is on the phone all day talking about very top every information. He does not feel comfortable having someone in the home who could possibly overhead certain things. He’s not a spy or anything, but he manages a handful of programs for the government.

That is ridiculous. A nanny would be watching your kids--not listening to his conversations. He can close the door.

[Anonymous]

There's no set of conditions in which your government employer says to you "you can do this work from home, your spouse can be present, but you can't have child care."

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised no one has called troll yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is full of shit about how important his job is and irrational

Agree. And the firearm excuse is BS too. Plenty of us have firearms and keep them in secure safes made for that purpose (and don't advertise the fact that we have firearms). Or does your super-important James Bond husband just keep his guns lying around next to your kid's play dough?

OP here. My husband has a firearm he carries for work, but the rest are for protection. We keep them in a safe locked away. No one has access to our guns but us.

Four guns in the house for protection??? You’re both insane. What are you gonna do when the intruders come? Ask them to wait a minute while you unlock the safe and put four guns together? Ridiculous. I wouldn’t want to nanny for you, but it would have nothing to do with the guns. It would be because you’re clearly nuts.

Also, your husband doesn’t carry a weapon for work. He works from home managing programs or whatever bs you’re claiming. What exactly is the gun for?

I’m fairly confident this is 90% trolling.

OP here. One is for his job, one handgun, one shotgun, and one AR-15. Our guns are always ready to go. We need to protect ourselves.

A famous quote

“ People rely on the police to keep them safe. That’s the problem”.

With the current state of our world, it’s best we have the means to protect ourselves.

You cannot legally own an AR-15 in DC. Go away.

OP here. I don’t live in DC.

Thankfully! You should know better not to write about your weapons on DCUrbanmom.con. Not many gun lovers around here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised no one has called troll yet.

They have and I agree with you. This seems like the same poster who is obsessed with the scenario of a woman being "forced" to stay home because he husband has a super important job a nanny is never an option. Has OP mentioned anting to move to Texas yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What job does he have that he cannot have a Nanny in his home?

He should not force you to quite if you do not need to, Either find a share in someone elses home, or do daycare.

OP here. My husband works for the federal government and is on the phone all day talking about very top every information. He does not feel comfortable having someone in the home who could possibly overhead certain things. He’s not a spy or anything, but he manages a handful of programs for the government.

Spies don’t get to telework

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s pretty silly to spin yarns about federal work on a forum that is crammed with guess what, federal workers. 😄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised no one has called troll yet.

They have and I agree with you. This seems like the same poster who is obsessed with the scenario of a woman being "forced" to stay home because he husband has a super important job a nanny is never an option. Has OP mentioned anting to move to Texas yet?

Given she doesn’t seem to know how many guns she has in the house (first 5, then 4), I really hope this is a troll.

I really don’t understand trolls. Such a weird thing to make up and post online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to quit his job for a year.

OP here. He just got a promotion and it’s not possible in his line of work.

Oh well.

I get that we are not in a normal time during this pandemic, but it's simply not right that this burden falls disproportionately on women. And unless women stand up for themselves it will never change.

And you say you need your salary in the long term - what happens if something happens to him? He's laid off, health issues, etc.

Hold your ground here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What job does he have that he cannot have a Nanny in his home?

He should not force you to quite if you do not need to, Either find a share in someone elses home, or do daycare.

OP here. My husband works for the federal government and is on the phone all day talking about very top every information. He does not feel comfortable having someone in the home who could possibly overhead certain things. He’s not a spy or anything, but he manages a handful of programs for the government.

Good Lord, this is ridiculous. Is he aware that people that ARE spies are allowed to have childcare provided by foreign nationals in their home?

Figure out some soundproofing and close the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What job does he have that he cannot have a Nanny in his home?

He should not force you to quite if you do not need to, Either find a share in someone elses home, or do daycare.

OP here. My husband works for the federal government and is on the phone all day talking about very top every information. He does not feel comfortable having someone in the home who could possibly overhead certain things. He’s not a spy or anything, but he manages a handful of programs for the government.

Yeah right.