Disagreement About Childcare

[Anonymous]

Has your husband cheated on you before w/the Nanny?

Because I simply cannot think of any job that would prohibit your husband from employing a Nanny.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is he ok with putting kids in daycare when you have 2 kids, but not with 1 kid.
None of this makes sense.

OP here. Our child is a little over a year. He was in daycare but then the pandemic hit and we had to pull him out. We are currently trying for another baby. He is hoping the pandemic will be over in the next year and daycare will be safe. I know daycares are taking proper precautions and I feel it’s safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What job does he have that he cannot have a Nanny in his home?

He should not force you to quite if you do not need to, Either find a share in someone elses home, or do daycare.

OP here. My husband works for the federal government and is on the phone all day talking about very top every information. He does not feel comfortable having someone in the home who could possibly overhead certain things. He’s not a spy or anything, but he manages a handful of programs for the government.

Then this is a "him" problem to figure out. It's not fair to make you take a hit on your career because of his excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he ok with putting kids in daycare when you have 2 kids, but not with 1 kid.
None of this makes sense.

OP here. Our child is a little over a year. He was in daycare but then the pandemic hit and we had to pull him out. We are currently trying for another baby. He is hoping the pandemic will be over in the next year and daycare will be safe. I know daycares are taking proper precautions and I feel it’s safe.

Don't have another kid now unless you're completely okay with giving up your career

[Anonymous]

Similar, we did an inhome daycare. We feel like it's a safe option- only 3 families (some with multiple kids), so our exposure is way less than a daycare.

Our issue with a nanny was that so many wanted paid under the table (we could lose our clearance) and on the flip side, we didn't feel like we could manage all the tax issues ourselves. Using those pay services just added to the cost. Also we could only have US residents in our home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband cheated on you before w/the Nanny?

Because I simply cannot think of any job that would prohibit your husband from employing a Nanny.....

OP here. No. We have never had a nanny. My husband has never cheated on me. He works for the feds and doesn’t want a nanny in our home since he is on calls all day discussing things that most can’t know.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I can’t really say what my husband does exactly, but a nanny is not an option for us for the safety and security of his job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of job does he have where you can't have a nanny?

The kind where you can’t cheat on your taxes.

OP here. This is not about taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is he ok with putting kids in daycare when you have 2 kids, but not with 1 kid.
None of this makes sense.

OP here. Our child is a little over a year. He was in daycare but then the pandemic hit and we had to pull him out. We are currently trying for another baby. He is hoping the pandemic will be over in the next year and daycare will be safe. I know daycares are taking proper precautions and I feel it’s safe.

Don't have another kid now unless you're completely okay with giving up your career

OP here. I would actually love to stay home but it’s not possible because we need both incomes.

[Anonymous]

Keep trying for a nanny share--I bet there's a family out there who either has a big enough house for the kids not to be a disruption to the day, or who prefer not to pack up the kids and get them out of the house. I'm a nanny and there's one day a week where I bring the kids to my place which is a fun diversion from the same ol' same ol'. I've done shares full time at my place in the past because both moms were post part and the dads worked from home. If you really want a nanny share, I promise there's a way to make it work. Every pot has a lid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I can’t really say what my husband does exactly, but a nanny is not an option for us for the safety and security of his job.

Then he needs to be in the office. If a nanny can’t hear what he’s saying, than neither can you. Spouses are not exempt from confidentiality and security rules.

[Anonymous]

What have you proposed as your way of fixing this issue?

[Anonymous]

Is this the nurse who posted another thread a few months ago?

You don't want to quit. So don't quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep trying for a nanny share--I bet there's a family out there who either has a big enough house for the kids not to be a disruption to the day, or who prefer not to pack up the kids and get them out of the house. I'm a nanny and there's one day a week where I bring the kids to my place which is a fun diversion from the same ol' same ol'. I've done shares full time at my place in the past because both moms were post part and the dads worked from home. If you really want a nanny share, I promise there's a way to make it work. Every pot has a lid.

OP here. I don’t really like the idea of a nanny share. Dropping my child off at a strangers home doesn’t make me feel right. Working with strangers to come up with logistics such as hours, pay, vacation, etc. Trying to find a family who follows similar parental philosophies, etc., can be tough. I’d rather my child be in daycare with lots of hands and cameras I can see. I had full access to cameras and an app at the old daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the nurse who posted another thread a few months ago?

You don't want to quit. So don't quit.

OP here. I’m not in healthcare or anything close to it. Not me.