Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would reply - I'm sorry, XX you feel that way about Larlo. XXX, I appreciate the invitation but based off this text its best we decline the invitation. I don't want to put Larlo in a situation where he isn't welcome by everyone.

^^Perfection.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It is nice that they are including your child. He must be a nightmare. Be glad you have friends and laugh it off.

This, OP. Right now he’s a handful, but they include him. I think it says a lot about how much they like you- meaning they like you a lot. PIA kids usually get sidelined. Be very thankful and really observe your son- work with him on things that clearly drive other people crazy. It will make a better life for both of you.

I think it says a lot that none of the other moms in the group text stood up for you and your kid. No, these people do not like you very much and they are clearly not your friends.

I really don't understand comments like PPs' - are you really so obsessed with your own popularity that you want to be friends with people who are saying things like this about your child?? This isn't high school, and I, personally, would not tolerate this kind of mean girl behavior. It's kind of pathetic if you do.

I agree that it says a lot that nobody defended her, but I don't think it means that they don't like the mom. I think they must like her a lot or they'd exclude her. Clearly they ALL think that about the child, which is the reason that nobody could defend her. The only reason she's being included is because they like the mom. If OP does something bitchy now, they will all just avoid her family entirely.

NP. I agree. And how you react will determine whether your son has friends after today.

WTF? OP did nothing wrong. That mom owes OP an apology and that’s what determines if SHE still has OP as a friend after today. Why does everyone suddenly assume OP is hard up for friends? Would you give this advice to your teenage daughters?!

Mean girls grow up to be mean women and it shows.

I wasn’t talking about OP having friends. I’m talking about her kid having friends. When kids are little so many relationships are driven by parents.

I am the mom of a senior who was a tough kid. It’s not easy to be a difficult kid and it’s not easy for difficult kids to make and keep friends. For the sake of my kid, I’d definitely suck it up.

I understand what you’re saying but this woman and the rest of the group clearly do not like OP’s child. To echo what a previous poster said why continue to put a child in a situation where he isn’t all that welcomed and will only continue to be fodder for gossip? In many situations I would agree with you but not this one. Super toxic.

+1, did anyone say, we are very glad to have him or defend him in any way. If not, he's not welcome and its toxic.

They may or may not feel that way, but they’re just spineless cowards so OP will never know.

Mic drop. This right here.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just got a bunch of side texts from a few other moms horrified and apologizing.
I have yet to chime into the group thread (nobody has).
Letting it sit for a few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd go with "Happy holidays, Suzie! -- Larlo's mom"

Absolutely. You can’t let this just go.

+2. Absolutely respond!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reply - I'm sorry, XX you feel that way about Larlo. XXX, I appreciate the invitation but based off this text its best we decline the invitation. I don't want to put Larlo in a situation where he isn't welcome by everyone.

^^Perfection.

Absolutely not! Don’t punish your kid because some mom finds him loud, and then act all sulky for missing it because of a “mean” mom. Heck, I need Advil and wine for every birthday party and appreciate every single parent who brought their kid to my kids’ birthday parties. It’s awkward but it’s not totally mean what she said. So stay light, and you’ve got some suggestions. Your kid is not perfect and but so is this mother. She just got her foot in her mouth, so just stay light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think I'd go with "Happy holidays, Suzie! -- Larlo's mom"

This. Do exactly this. Please. It’s the only response. You get the opportunity to stay classy while she melts.

People like that don’t melt. They just dig in and will continue to defend themselves by making a huge deal about how terrible Larlo is.

“People like that?”
She didn’t wish some deathly disease on OP’s kid. It was just some snarky gossiping. We’ve all had those thoughts about someone else’s kid. Totally not okay to post out loud. But let’s not put her in some class of evil or crazy where she will dig in and continue to defend bad mouthing any kid.

Definitely respond OP. You’ve had some good suggestions. Pick one and report back.

It's so tacky and classless to say something like that on a group thread to a bunch of people, so that alone is bad enough to call her a "person like that."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just got a bunch of side texts from a few other moms horrified and apologizing.
I have yet to chime into the group thread (nobody has).
Letting it sit for a few.

I wouldn’t trust those moms either.

It’s likely that the mean poster felt very comfortable posting the nasty comment because they’ve discussed it in the past.

[Anonymous]

I’d just say, “Larlo and I can’t wait!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just got a bunch of side texts from a few other moms horrified and apologizing.
I have yet to chime into the group thread (nobody has).
Letting it sit for a few.

I wouldn’t trust those moms either.

It’s likely that the mean poster felt very comfortable posting the nasty comment because they’ve discussed it in the past.

Yeah OP I agree — sit on it because I don’t know if these side-channel apologies are genuine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would reply - I'm sorry, XX you feel that way about Larlo. XXX, I appreciate the invitation but based off this text its best we decline the invitation. I don't want to put Larlo in a situation where he isn't welcome by everyone.

^^Perfection.

Absolutely not! Don’t punish your kid because some mom finds him loud, and then act all sulky for missing it because of a “mean” mom. Heck, I need Advil and wine for every birthday party and appreciate every single parent who brought their kid to my kids’ birthday parties. It’s awkward but it’s not totally mean what she said. So stay light, and you’ve got some suggestions. Your kid is not perfect and but so is this mother. She just got her foot in her mouth, so just stay light.

Yeah it's the jerk mom who needs decline the invitation. Not the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just got a bunch of side texts from a few other moms horrified and apologizing.
I have yet to chime into the group thread (nobody has).
Letting it sit for a few.

You need to respond. She shouldn't get away with this crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just got a bunch of side texts from a few other moms horrified and apologizing.
I have yet to chime into the group thread (nobody has).
Letting it sit for a few.

I’m going to guess that at least one of the moms found this thread an group texted some of the others. Since you’re aware that your kid can be a handful (which doesn’t absolve this rudeness), Choose your response based on whether you want your kid to remain in this group. There have been many good suggestions that should get your point across.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd go with "Happy holidays, Suzie! -- Larlo's mom"

This. Do exactly this. Please. It’s the only response. You get the opportunity to stay classy while she melts.

People like that don’t melt. They just dig in and will continue to defend themselves by making a huge deal about how terrible Larlo is.

“People like that?”
She didn’t wish some deathly disease on OP’s kid. It was just some snarky gossiping. We’ve all had those thoughts about someone else’s kid. Totally not okay to post out loud. But let’s not put her in some class of evil or crazy where she will dig in and continue to defend bad mouthing any kid.

Definitely respond OP. You’ve had some good suggestions. Pick one and report back.

It's so tacky and classless to say something like that on a group thread to a bunch of people, so that alone is bad enough to call her a "person like that."

Exactly. It’s fine to think those things. Or say them to your spouse
But you don’t just put it out there in a group text!

[Anonymous]

Go, and hand her a bottle of advil and a glass of wine.

[Anonymous]

I would be very honest and reply all "you know that was really hurtful. Words matter. That wasn't necessary"