Fiancé wants a "nicer" engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

My now husband didn’t want to buy an engagement ring. I wanted some meaningful gesture and so I asked him to make me one. He took a beginner jewelry class and made me a beautiful silver turquoise ring. I know that’s not everyone’s style but there are ways to compromise if you can each figure out what is really important to you about this symbol.

[Anonymous]

For practical purposes, I agree with the earlier recommendation to go to pricescope for advice. She seems really unrealistic and is placing a lot of demands on the ring IMO. If the goal is to have a big rock, there are ways to do it within a budget.

My original engagement ring was almost a carat, it was an estate (lovingly used ) ring and was a good quality diamond solitaire for a great price. Vintage/estate/antique is a great way to go to save money. Ivy and Rose usually has some good sized rings less than 10K.

I bought myself a 2ct upgrade recently, I bought a lab diamond through rare carat. Gives the look I was going for but at a fraction of the cost of an ideal cut mined diamond. It's chemically identical to mined diamond with the same visual performance so that's good for me!

There's also the vendors with great upgrade policies like whiteflash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, no matter what you decide, if you buy a ring that's a tiny bit outside the desired size range, you tend to save money and no one can tell the difference with the naked eye. Aim for 1.40 if you decide on 1.5, or 1.85-9 for 2, and you'll save money and get the same look.

And what cut does she like? Round brilliant is the most forgiving and tends to give you the most sparkle and size-appearance for your buck. Princess and cushion are cheaper than round by carat weight, but a round brilliant of the same CTW will appear larger. For an emerald cut, you need a pretty high-quality diamond bc of the glass-like appearance.

But I agree with others that there needs to be a serious conversation about this.

This.

It’s not just a budget thing. OP doesn’t seem interested in putting time in to finding something his girlfriend would like.

If you aren’t willing to offer your girlfriend your time or your money, why should she marry you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:speaking of that ^, weren't her earrings insured?

I'm sure, but Seacrest needed a "dramatic" storyline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:speaking of that ^, weren't her earrings insured?

I'm sure, but Seacrest needed a "dramatic" storyline.

Why would she get so upset if she knew it could be replaced though? That's what I don't get. I lost a diamond stud once (a LOT smaller than hers I'm sure lol) but since it was insured and the process of getting it replaced was super easy and simple.

I was sad that I lost the earring because it had been a gift which meant something to me but ultimately I knew it would be replaced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now husband didn’t want to buy an engagement ring. I wanted some meaningful gesture and so I asked him to make me one. He took a beginner jewelry class and made me a beautiful silver turquoise ring. I know that’s not everyone’s style but there are ways to compromise if you can each figure out what is really important to you about this symbol.

Love this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:speaking of that ^, weren't her earrings insured?

I'm sure, but Seacrest needed a "dramatic" storyline.

Why would she get so upset if she knew it could be replaced though? That's what I don't get. I lost a diamond stud once (a LOT smaller than hers I'm sure lol) but since it was insured and the process of getting it replaced was super easy and simple.

I was sad that I lost the earring because it had been a gift which meant something to me but ultimately I knew it would be replaced.

They get upset because it makes for good TV, nothing more. Remember all the Kim crying memes? OK, I'll stop or all these posts will get deleted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, no matter what you decide, if you buy a ring that's a tiny bit outside the desired size range, you tend to save money and no one can tell the difference with the naked eye. Aim for 1.40 if you decide on 1.5, or 1.85-9 for 2, and you'll save money and get the same look.

And what cut does she like? Round brilliant is the most forgiving and tends to give you the most sparkle and size-appearance for your buck. Princess and cushion are cheaper than round by carat weight, but a round brilliant of the same CTW will appear larger. For an emerald cut, you need a pretty high-quality diamond bc of the glass-like appearance.

But I agree with others that there needs to be a serious conversation about this.

This.

It’s not just a budget thing. OP doesn’t seem interested in putting time in to finding something his girlfriend would like.

If you aren’t willing to offer your girlfriend your time or your money, why should she marry you?

PP you're replying to. I agree, I don't think either of them are very knowledgeable about the options available to them. I feel like OP is just thinking he can't walk into Jared in his budget and buy something she would like. It takes a little more effort than that. That said, I'd still talk to her about expectations for finances going forward. It's not a deal-breaker, just something to discuss.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see why he gets to be the one to decide the budget and size. She has to wear it for the next 50 years.

Well, 50% chance she will only wear it for ten years or less, so he’d be a damn fool to spend too much money on it.

Also, his money, so he decides the budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not getting all these responses. It's entirely possible she has no idea how much he plans on spending and this is just her answer when he asked her what she liked. Why slam her and advise OP to dump her instead of... shocking... talking to her? Clearly she has redeeming qualities or he would not have proposed.

Ummm... he makes it pretty clear that she has explicitly stated she wants a *real* diamond of at least X.X carats and she wants it now, not later.

That is more than sufficient evidence to support all of these responses.

Actually what he said was that he was planning to propose in January. He could have just asked her for a preference and she said she'd rather have a certain carat size of a ring now and would rather not upgrade. And if you search this board, most women and men in the comments are saying they want or have diamonds only and even say 1.5 carats "isn't big".

Nowhere did he say they discussed budget, or that he told her he was not able/willing to spend over the budget. If he did tell her the budget and she's insisting he spend more and is unwilling to chip in to get the ring she wants, I stand corrected.

Okay, but if you read between the lines it's pretty clear...

Unless she's simply not that bright, which is a possibility, she has an idea of what her desired ring will cost and whether or not that is realistic given what she knows about her boyfriend thus far. Even if she were blissfully unaware of how much her preferred ring would cost, it still reeks of entitlement and says something about her.

It's one thing to have to explain to an 8 year old why they can't have something that's beyond the parent's means; you should not have to do that for a full grown woman whom you intend on proposing to.

Maybe she does know what it costs. We don't know how OP determined his budget. If he has a high-paying job, she might be assuming that his budget is higher than what it is. Or she might be looking at lower-quality diamonds herself thinking "he can totally keep it under 10K". Either way, he needs to be able to TALK openly to her about money and budgeting! I am not on board with proposals being surprises. Marriage is a huge life decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs to contribute to the ring. But OP, you really should question who you are marrying.

That was my first thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t see why he gets to be the one to decide the budget and size. She has to wear it for the next 50 years.

Well, 50% chance she will only wear it for ten years or less, so he’d be a damn fool to spend too much money on it.

Also, his money, so he decides the budget.

Where did he say she even knows his budget? I read through the thread and I don't see it. I'm not sure he's actually told her the numbers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:speaking of that ^, weren't her earrings insured?

I'm sure, but Seacrest needed a "dramatic" storyline.

Why would she get so upset if she knew it could be replaced though? That's what I don't get. I lost a diamond stud once (a LOT smaller than hers I'm sure lol) but since it was insured and the process of getting it replaced was super easy and simple.

I was sad that I lost the earring because it had been a gift which meant something to me but ultimately I knew it would be replaced.

All reality TV is scripted for maximum drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to contribute to the ring. But OP, you really should question who you are marrying.

That was my first thought.

Pp here. But I should add that I did not want an engagement ring and would have been annoyed if my fiance had bought me one. So take my opinion with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

For people saying she needs to contribute to the ring.

Most people combine finances after they get married. So one way or another she is contributing. If he spends 5k extra now on the ring, that is 5k that won't go to a house down payment or a vacation or whatever later on.