Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve tried both being subtle and explicitly telling him he needs to lose weight. He needs to lose 30-40lbs. I have always been a healthy weight but the last few months, not wanting to be hypercritical, started regularly working out. Well now I’m in very good shape and...he’s still overweight with zero motivation to lose it. I thought maybe he would want to work out with me if he saw me working hard and we could make it a couples thing but no. Then he wonders why I’m never in the mood to have sex.
I love him and don’t ever see myself cheating or leaving him over this - I just had to vent my frustration somewhere. The double standard between men and women is not fair. I don’t think he’s depressed. Just hates exercise and loves ice cream. Oh well.
What double standard? That's it's okay for husbands to be fat and unattractive but not wives? That women are required to be attracted to their obese husbands and men aren't? I think there's only one standard, and that's the unrealistic standard imposed by lifelong marriage. The vows don't actually say it explicitly, but "better or worse," includes "fit and sexy or fat and repulsive." Didn't sign up for that? Yep, no one does. Some would even say that he's broken the covenant by not taking care of himself for
you. (Do you honestly think this argument would hold up if the sexes were reversed? Nah, didn't think so.) But just remember: ALL bodies are beautiful. Surely you can dig deep enough to enjoy his doughy rolls.
Well, you'd better find a way, because this is it. For the rest.of.your.life.
Signed, a DH with a fat wife