Disgusted by friend’s cheapness/values/food situation

[Anonymous]

My kids participate in a reading program and at the end they give emery one free food. I think they have so much they just want to get it to kids, any kids. Sadly half the food is really nasty. So many bologna sandwiches. Sugary cereal. Sometimes fruits and veggies.

[Anonymous]

I ditched a friend who was similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids participate in a reading program and at the end they give emery one free food. I think they have so much they just want to get it to kids, any kids. Sadly half the food is really nasty. So many bologna sandwiches. Sugary cereal. Sometimes fruits and veggies.

Happened to me when I came to pick up kids lunch once, they seriously offered me to take up to 10 rations. I only have one kid. And yes a lot of non healthy stuff and much of the prepared food just looks revolting.
They should start just giving milk, fruit, cheese sticks, eggs, maybe crackers...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work for a food and clothing charity. There are always a few outliers who come to depend upon us even though they aren’t clearly in need. Yes, there’s often mental illness at play. Sometimes, we can drop clients if merited.

Don't do this. You have no idea what someone's entire current financial situation is. Any decent charity would rather be more inclusive and risk occasionally being taken advantage of than try to police it too strictly and possibly turn away someone in need.

PP quoted. Extreme situations call for dropping a client; abusive or threatening behavior towards staff comes to mind.
Typically, we first explain our mission to clients. I’ve had clients roll up in Land Rovers, BMWs, talking on a new iPhone wearing designer clothes.

We have taken clients off of our “emergency” list if for instance we see them at Costco pushing a full cart or they move out of our service area or buy a home (sorry, you’re not getting g help with your electric if you just bought a $750 home).

[Anonymous]

If OP is real she’s one of the worst people I’ve seen posting in awhile. This isn’t about her friend, this is about how superior OP is. Just awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work for a food and clothing charity. There are always a few outliers who come to depend upon us even though they aren’t clearly in need. Yes, there’s often mental illness at play. Sometimes, we can drop clients if merited.

Don't do this. You have no idea what someone's entire current financial situation is. Any decent charity would rather be more inclusive and risk occasionally being taken advantage of than try to police it too strictly and possibly turn away someone in need.

PP quoted. Extreme situations call for dropping a client; abusive or threatening behavior towards staff comes to mind.
Typically, we first explain our mission to clients. I’ve had clients roll up in Land Rovers, BMWs, talking on a new iPhone wearing designer clothes.

We have taken clients off of our “emergency” list if for instance we see them at Costco pushing a full cart or they move out of our service area or buy a home (sorry, you’re not getting g help with your electric if you just bought a $750 home).

I have written about this before as has at least one other person. People who run legit hunger outreach realize that people can fall on sudden hard circumstances and donNt penalize new clients for their clothing, cars, or phones.

Likewise, since people might get one time assistance from a friend or relative willing to fill up that Costco cart once, it makes zero sense to drop a client based on that.

Sounds like your charity is in the business of judging people more than feeding them.

[Anonymous]

PP above and we vet and cross check via social services.

Dirty little secret in charities: fraud. Rare, but happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP above and we vet and cross check via social services.

Dirty little secret in charities: fraud. Rare, but happens.

Social services actually encourages recipients to accept as many donations and other forms of assistance as possible and to not further impoverish themselves by selling a car that could be used to get to work or take kids to school. Social services would rather than a new mom applicant go to the diaper bank to get a couple packs than spend her TANF on diapers at Target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work for a food and clothing charity. There are always a few outliers who come to depend upon us even though they aren’t clearly in need. Yes, there’s often mental illness at play. Sometimes, we can drop clients if merited.

Don't do this. You have no idea what someone's entire current financial situation is. Any decent charity would rather be more inclusive and risk occasionally being taken advantage of than try to police it too strictly and possibly turn away someone in need.

PP quoted. Extreme situations call for dropping a client; abusive or threatening behavior towards staff comes to mind.
Typically, we first explain our mission to clients. I’ve had clients roll up in Land Rovers, BMWs, talking on a new iPhone wearing designer clothes.

We have taken clients off of our “emergency” list if for instance we see them at Costco pushing a full cart or they move out of our service area or buy a home (sorry, you’re not getting g help with your electric if you just bought a $750 home).

I have written about this before as has at least one other person. People who run legit hunger outreach realize that people can fall on sudden hard circumstances and donNt penalize new clients for their clothing, cars, or phones.

Likewise, since people might get one time assistance from a friend or relative willing to fill up that Costco cart once, it makes zero sense to drop a client based on that.

Sounds like your charity is in the business of judging people more than feeding them.

+1. This is exactly right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you know less about their situation that you think. People can be very good at keeping up appearances after situations change

OP here and nope. I knew someone would bring this up. Won’t get into details here but I know their financial situation is fine. And they’ve been at this for years, well before Covid and economic disaster.

Why are you still friends with them????

Seriously. Why?

She did really help me get through a hard part of my life and our kids do like playing together.

So your friend sounds like a good, but an imperfect person, and you sound like you aren't.

I am sorry, but this is beyond imperfection. I lost my job in March, and was able to find a temporary job in May for one month and now on UI again. But I would never go pick up those boxes from church. We cut down our expenses, using our savings. I agree that that food is for less privileged people.