Wapo Date Lab: Daters say they don’t tolerate racial bias. Their actions say otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

It it proven time and time again that black women are the least selected race on dating sites even by black men. I guess the entire world is blind and racist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

No, what's ridiculous (this is the proper spelling of that word, by the way) is to say that you're not attracted to Black men, for example. Because the only thing that all Black men have in common is being "Black". And maybe having a penis. But there's a vast array of different body types, height, hair types, and skin colors among Black men. Not to mention that each Black man is a unique individual, with his own personality, intellect, sense of humor, and sensitivity. To summarily dismiss "Black men" as a monolith to which you are not attracted is racist.

I summarily dismiss the same gender as me since I am not attracted to them. And I dismiss certain hair length believe it or not, even in my race. That doesn't mean I don't see all of the above as equal. I don't need to sleep with everyone to prove my what used to be considered liberal bonafide

+1 if a man is attracted to blondes with blue eyes only he is not going to date an Asian woman. If a woman is not attracted to men who have really really dark skin, she is not going to date very dark black men. That's not about racism. That's about preference and what they are attracted to.

Why is it ok to say someone prefers blondes with a tan skin but not ok to say someone prefers lighter skin?

You prefer blondes because you’ve been steeped in a culture of white supremacy. It may not be an intentional bias, but it is a bias.

[Anonymous]

The US is a multi-racial society where there's a wide range of physical phenotypes. However, for a very long time, we were almost exclusively bombarded with media images (movies, tv, fashion, music, etc...) of one particular phenotype to the exclusion of all others. This has only really changed in the past generation. For example, the first non-white supermodels are only in their 40s today. To say that this has had zero effect on American society is disingenuous. If the only images available of "beautiful people," like actors and models, looked a certain way, it wouldn't be surprising if many people internalized that as being the standard for attractiveness and it affects their dating choices.

That's why representation in the media is so important.

With that being said, there is absolutely an aspect of attraction that is innate. People can be attracted to certain physical characteristics in a way that has nothing to do with social conditioning.

I don't see recognizing both factors as being contradictory. We can work on the problem of media representation and whatever effect it has had on dating in American society. At the same time, we still respect individual attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The US is a multi-racial society where there's a wide range of physical phenotypes. However, for a very long time, we were almost exclusively bombarded with media images (movies, tv, fashion, music, etc...) of one particular phenotype to the exclusion of all others. This has only really changed in the past generation. For example, the first non-white supermodels are only in their 40s today. To say that this has had zero effect on American society is disingenuous. If the only images available of "beautiful people," like actors and models, looked a certain way, it wouldn't be surprising if many people internalized that as being the standard for attractiveness and it affects their dating choices.

That's why representation in the media is so important.

With that being said, there is absolutely an aspect of attraction that is innate. People can be attracted to certain physical characteristics in a way that has nothing to do with social conditioning.

I don't see recognizing both factors as being contradictory. We can work on the problem of media representation and whatever effect it has had on dating in American society. At the same time, we still respect individual attraction.

Great post!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

I’m not the person who made that statement nor do I agree with it. I have preferences in who I find attractive and want to date/ marry but that doesn’t have anything to do with racism. It’s just what I what I prefer. If you disagree, so what?

[Anonymous]

Attraction is completely hardwired. That is why people are born gay. Why pedophiles are that way, as disgusting as it is. Why people have strange fetishes. There is ample literature about this. Trying to cure someone of racial preference in dating is like trying gay conversion therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

LOL at the idea bias training proves anything. Everyone knows going into that you gotta say the stupid woke BS they expect you to say.

+1

Bias training is about the most biased and the less evidence-based out there.

Re-education camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attraction is completely hardwired. That is why people are born gay. Why pedophiles are that way, as disgusting as it is. Why people have strange fetishes. There is ample literature about this. Trying to cure someone of racial preference in dating is like trying gay conversion therapy.[/ph


Pedophilia is a sin. And a crime, thankfully because it harms one of the parties involved

[Anonymous]

I agree that attraction among races is steeped in cultural prejudices. But those prejudices seem very arbitrary and don't necessarily follow a pattern in terms of which groups have been historically disadvantaged.

The hierarchy of attractiveness (recognizing that everyone has their individual preferences) seems to go more or less as follows:
1. White women
2. Black men.
3. Asian women.
4. White men.
5. Asian men.
6. Black women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that attraction among races is steeped in cultural prejudices. But those prejudices seem very arbitrary and don't necessarily follow a pattern in terms of which groups have been historically disadvantaged.

The hierarchy of attractiveness (recognizing that everyone has their individual preferences) seems to go more or less as follows:
1. White women
2. Black men.
3. Asian women.
4. White men.
5. Asian men.
6. Black women.

Actually, that dating study that got so much press showed that women of all races other than black have the highest response to white men and lowest response to black men. So I'm not sure where you pulled your ranking from?

https://qz.com/149342/the-uncomfortable-racial-preferences-revealed-by-online-dating/

[Anonymous]

Actually, studies have shown that American white men consider Asian women most attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.