Wapo Date Lab: Daters say they don’t tolerate racial bias. Their actions say otherwise

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that attraction among races is steeped in cultural prejudices. But those prejudices seem very arbitrary and don't necessarily follow a pattern in terms of which groups have been historically disadvantaged.

The hierarchy of attractiveness (recognizing that everyone has their individual preferences) seems to go more or less as follows:
1. White women
2. Black men.
3. Asian women.
4. White men.
5. Asian men.
6. Black women.

Actually, that dating study that got so much press showed that women of all races other than black have the highest response to white men and lowest response to black men. So I'm not sure where you pulled your ranking from?

https://qz.com/149342/the-uncomfortable-racial-preferences-revealed-by-online-dating/

"Unfortunately the data reveal winners and losers. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that attraction among races is steeped in cultural prejudices. But those prejudices seem very arbitrary and don't necessarily follow a pattern in terms of which groups have been historically disadvantaged.

The hierarchy of attractiveness (recognizing that everyone has their individual preferences) seems to go more or less as follows:
1. White women
2. Black men.
3. Asian women.
4. White men.
5. Asian men.
6. Black women.

Totally incorrect based on research/data.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

No, what's ridiculous (this is the proper spelling of that word, by the way) is to say that you're not attracted to Black men, for example. Because the only thing that all Black men have in common is being "Black". And maybe having a penis. But there's a vast array of different body types, height, hair types, and skin colors among Black men. Not to mention that each Black man is a unique individual, with his own personality, intellect, sense of humor, and sensitivity. To summarily dismiss "Black men" as a monolith to which you are not attracted is racist.

I summarily dismiss the same gender as me since I am not attracted to them. And I dismiss certain hair length believe it or not, even in my race. That doesn't mean I don't see all of the above as equal. I don't need to sleep with everyone to prove my what used to be considered liberal bonafide

+1 if a man is attracted to blondes with blue eyes only he is not going to date an Asian woman. If a woman is not attracted to men who have really really dark skin, she is not going to date very dark black men. That's not about racism. That's about preference and what they are attracted to.

Why is it ok to say someone prefers blondes with a tan skin but not ok to say someone prefers lighter skin?

You prefer blondes because you’ve been steeped in a culture of white supremacy. It may not be an intentional bias, but it is a bias.

that's ridiculous.

There are nonwhite men from other countries who like blondes/blue eyed women. You guys are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that attraction among races is steeped in cultural prejudices. But those prejudices seem very arbitrary and don't necessarily follow a pattern in terms of which groups have been historically disadvantaged.

The hierarchy of attractiveness (recognizing that everyone has their individual preferences) seems to go more or less as follows:
1. White women
2. Black men.
3. Asian women.
4. White men.
5. Asian men.
6. Black women.

Actually, that dating study that got so much press showed that women of all races other than black have the highest response to white men and lowest response to black men. So I'm not sure where you pulled your ranking from?

https://qz.com/149342/the-uncomfortable-racial-preferences-revealed-by-online-dating/

"Unfortunately the data reveal winners and losers. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. "

Asian woman here... it seems that article pulled the data from dating apps, which IMO, is not necessarily reflective of real life.

I know many Asians, and most of them are married to other Asians. I am married to a white European, and I know several interracial couples of different persuasions.

I'm wondering how many of those people are picking certain races on dating apps because they are curious and want to experience sex with someone of a different race.

Perhaps most surprising is that among men, all racial groups preferred another race over their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attraction is completely hardwired. That is why people are born gay. Why pedophiles are that way, as disgusting as it is. Why people have strange fetishes. There is ample literature about this. Trying to cure someone of racial preference in dating is like trying gay conversion therapy.[/ph


Pedophilia is a sin. And a crime, thankfully because it harms one of the parties involved

Of course it's illegal as it should be. The point is that no one chooses to have an attraction to children, of course, because it would be and is brutal to have a sexual attraction you can't ethically fulfill. Just as no one chooses to only be attracted to certain qualities and physical features. As a man, I wish I was equally attracted to all women because it would massively broaden my dating options

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attraction is completely hardwired. That is why people are born gay. Why pedophiles are that way, as disgusting as it is. Why people have strange fetishes. There is ample literature about this. Trying to cure someone of racial preference in dating is like trying gay conversion therapy.

Racial preference, not just preference of skin color or hair color, is ridiculous because race as a concept is ridiculous. People who's ancestors lived in different parts of the world developed differences. Add in nationalism and colonialism and you've got the idea that some types are preferred because they were associated with the dominant culture. The same thing would happen if you lived on another planet where the beings had blue skin and green skin. Just one of those things humans like to do to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

[Anonymous]

I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

[Anonymous]

This is so stupid. So if I were a lesbian, would that mean I was somehow prejudiced against men? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

DP.. I stated up thread.. I think that on these dating apps, men aren't really all that interested in LTRs. They want to experience something different. There are a lot of white men who date women who have kids. IMO, dating apps aren't a reflection of what's happening IRL, much like DCUM is not a reflection of views/opinions outside this bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. So if I were a lesbian, would that mean I was somehow prejudiced against men? No.

Apparently you’d be a sexist. According to the effed up logic of some people on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

Busty or big booty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black woman PP here. I have been attracted to and dated all kinds, but instantly dropped anyone who dated only members of one race. A white man whose policy is not to date white women is weird. I think that sociological influence plays a role, which is why black women get so upset about black men who only date non-black people. I have said in other threads that we need to let them go. When I lived in Spain I learned that some African immigrants who came would marry white Spanish women and completely cut all family and other ties with the country of origin. They were called "complejos." It is tempting to judge them harshly but we all have different ways of dealing with the plutonium of self-hatred.

White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attraction is completely hardwired. That is why people are born gay. Why pedophiles are that way, as disgusting as it is. Why people have strange fetishes. There is ample literature about this. Trying to cure someone of racial preference in dating is like trying gay conversion therapy.[/ph


Pedophilia is a sin. And a crime, thankfully because it harms one of the parties involved

Of course it's illegal as it should be. The point is that no one chooses to have an attraction to children, of course, because it would be and is brutal to have a sexual attraction you can't ethically fulfill. Just as no one chooses to only be attracted to certain qualities and physical features. As a man, I wish I was equally attracted to all women because it would massively broaden my dating options

They may not choose to be "attracted" to kids but this is definitely a perverted disorder. They do, however, choose to act on that attraction.