Wapo Date Lab: Daters say they don’t tolerate racial bias. Their actions say otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. So if I were a lesbian, would that mean I was somehow prejudiced against men? No.

Yes, and if you wouldn't date a transwoman you would also be transphobic

Actually if your not transgender yourself you’re transphobic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cant understand people who say I am not attracted to X people. I can find beautiful, attractive, smart people in any city, any country with any background. There are really hot black men, white men, asian med, indian men, russian men, eastern european mean, south american men, central american man, african men, tall men, short men, muscular men, etc. I do have a type but I dont limit myself. There have been men that I wasnt very attracted to look-wise but their minds/personality was amazing and vice versa.

So for the people who say you are hard-wired to be attracted to a certain demographic, what do you make of those of us like me?

""What we see as attractive is a byproduct of not only our biological wiring, but is also influenced by socio-cultural factors," says David Sarwerof the Center for Human Appearance at the University of Pennsylvania.Although individual differences in what we consider attractive "are not well-understood," Sarwer says, we are shaped by "what we learn from our parents and peers as well as what we see in the mass media."

+1 Exactly.

+2! Who are these people that only date one race?! There are so many attractive men out there. I don’t understand this sentiment at all.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

I’ll take my chances.

The fact that you even think there’s a chance speaks volumes about how you raise your kids.

[Anonymous]

I am attracted to black and white men. I am rarely attracted to Asians...some south Asians I find attractive but very few. I'm not a racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am attracted to black and white men. I am rarely attracted to Asians...some south Asians I find attractive but very few. I'm not a racist.

Why do you think your racism against East Asians is acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am attracted to black and white men. I am rarely attracted to Asians...some south Asians I find attractive but very few. I'm not a racist.

Why do you think your racism against East Asians is acceptable?

Well I don't know if this is racist but I know that some East Asian females also feel this way too.
I'm one of them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

I’ll take my chances.

The fact that you even think there’s a chance speaks volumes about how you raise your kids.

You got me. You’re doing it right and I’m doing it wrong. I bow to you. You win. You’re awesome and woke and a warrior and I aspire to be 1/80th of the person you are someday. YOU ROCK!!!!!

[Anonymous]

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White woman here. I'm married. So I'm out of the dating scene, but I think you point out something I've observed as well. I've actually known some white men who *only* date Asian women.

They keep hoping to find a submissive one despite repeated experience that Asian women are not actually submissive...

This! They bought into a stereotype and can’t shake it.

As a guy who prefers Asian women, there are numerous other benefits:

1. Many have little to no leg hair and don't even need to shave
2. Thicker hair on head, nice full head of hair
3. Many fewer apocrine glands under arms which means no "body odor" as long as they've showered within 24-48 hours - no need for deodorant
4. Skin has greater elasticity so signs of aging are put off by about 10 years when you're talking about 40 vs. 50 age range

These are just a few off the top of my head. I never expect an asian woman to be submissive.

Ew.

Right? It’s like someone was taking stock of a thoroughbred at auction. Shudder.

Yeah. That guy is creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am attracted to black and white men. I am rarely attracted to Asians...some south Asians I find attractive but very few. I'm not a racist.

Why do you think your racism against East Asians is acceptable?

Well I don't know if this is racist but I know that some East Asian females also feel this way too.
I'm one of them.

Wow. That is my fetish.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

I’ll take my chances.

The fact that you even think there’s a chance speaks volumes about how you raise your kids.

You got me. You’re doing it right and I’m doing it wrong. I bow to you. You win. You’re awesome and woke and a warrior and I aspire to be 1/80th of the person you are someday. YOU ROCK!!!!!

^This is why your kids are either doomed or won’t speak to you as adults.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry, attraction is hard wired. It's rediculous to say I am racist for being attracted to certain races as it is to say I am only attracted to people who are in shape, or to full hair vs bald, large vs small cheated women, fat vs thin. Gay people are born this way, as it is for body features which includes skin tone.

This. You literally do not choose who you are attracted to.

You are socialized to prefer one skin color over another.

This is proven over and over again in bias training. It's true.

So what? I like what I like and you like what you like. There's a lid for every pot, as my grandmother used to say.

Just own it. Say “I only like ____ race.” And then whatever people think about you, they think about you. Don’t add all the other BS to try to cover up your prejudice.

You appear to be the one who is adding the BS. I have no problem with owning my preferences.

“Sexual attraction to one race is hardwired” is utter BS. You like one race because you are a racist.

My husband prefers Asians (not sure how I made the cut). Never knew I was married to a racist.

Well, now you do. Raise your kids better.

Omg that made me laugh. Thanks - I needed that!

It’s funny until your teens’ social media posts end up on the news.

I’ll take my chances.

The fact that you even think there’s a chance speaks volumes about how you raise your kids.

You got me. You’re doing it right and I’m doing it wrong. I bow to you. You win. You’re awesome and woke and a warrior and I aspire to be 1/80th of the person you are someday. YOU ROCK!!!!!

^This is why your kids are either doomed or won’t speak to you as adults.

You already won. Must you rub it in?

[Anonymous]

NP - I’m a white male and during my single days I was attracted to any woman who showed an interest in me. I dated AA and Asian women and I really loved the view they gave me of life that I was pretty blind to. But, I also knew that their dating me was a problem for them in terms of their families so I did experience a very minor form of racism. I ended up marrying a white woman simply because I really fell in love. But I am a better person from having been in relationships with AA and Asian women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have wondered about this and might as well ask it here:
I am a white woman, tall, blond, blue eyes.
On match, you can see who "likes" you and those men are over 90 percent non-white, mostly black and Indian it seems

I always wonder if I am not attractive to white men...my friend thinks it's because white men don't like that I am a mom?

Busty or big booty?

Lol! I am built like Brooke Shields (current)

If this hasn't been consistently your experience in your life (i.e. 90% of the males you attracted from age 16-34 were also black and indian), then it is because of your age and motherhood status.

Once I started viewing dating/mating more as a market, things made a lot more sense. just like financial markets, there is irrationality and the EMH theorem doesn't fully hold up, but in broad strokes markets is the best way to view dating/mating.

age, race, gender, physical attributes, ses, education level, ses level of parents, prior relationships - it's like assessing a company's vairous economic, financial, and intangible attributes to decide if you want to buy it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This article is ridiculous. It told me that there is actually more racial bias in dating preference from one race, but then stated a bunch of excuses for that and turned around and lectured another race.

And also, part of what is maddening about this current time is that this country is not only black and white! I swear, you would think only two races exist in the United States.

You would think this is a Black Country with a pesky white minority group.

It is now.

[Anonymous]

Men are primarily attracted to one type. Skinny and big boobs with some ass.